A few weeks ago, I was at a friend's house when we all decided to play some Trivial Pursuit. Bare in mind this: as a kid, and up to that particular point, I always found the game a decent enough challenge. Sure, you'd get the odd tv-related question that everyone could answer, but it was far more likely that you'd be discussing weird shit like "who was the last king of the House of Wessex" or something of that sort. At least in my edition, the family one - and they called it that because you had yellow cards for the kids and blue cards for the adults, so as to level the challenge for everyone.
See, I always got very embarrassed when I missed a question, because I knew that I had to succeed to be considered as cultured as my mum is. Except that when we play against her, we have to make her play with 4 wheels...and she still wins.
Regardless, I was taken aback by how FUCKING EASY the questions were on a much more recent version of the game. Questions like "who is the tiger in the comic Calvin and Hobbes" wouldn't even appear on the kids questions of the family version of Trivial Pursuit. Of course, the kind of questions that do appear in that version are far weirder than you could ever imagine.
I always tell this story about a particular Trivial Pursuit card I have that was completely misprinted to the point that it still makes sense, but in a very odd and WRONG way. Firstly, I'd like to show you the simpler mistakes. [Note that I'll always be discussing the "pink" questions.]
Let's consider the question. "Which blonde was the recruit that did crazy things?" Answer: Goldie Hawn, for the question is referencing the portuguese title of Private Benjamin, "Loucuras de uma recruta". Let's look at the back of the card.
Oh, my bad. The real answer was Godie Hawn.
Still on the Godie Hawn trail, we have Jane Fonde, another very obscure actress that was apparently the daughter of Henry Fonda. Funny how the world works.
We also have some small typos.
If you are really curious - and if you are, how old are you? - here's the back of this particular card.
And some fairly larger typos.
The answer to that question is Roger Rabibt.
Red and Scarlett. I know this is prior of to the creation of Google, but didn't they have books and shit where they could look this stuff up? And before you even begin to argue that the answer is "X-Men" or something equally bizarre, here's the back of the card.
Now, I believe you all must be very unimpressed. "Oh, these are simple mistakes, anyone could make them! You do not impress me with your mocking, madam." Okay, I get that. Perhaps I shall show you some odd examples of phrasing.
For instance, note this card:
[Back of this card]
I won't lie and say "I HAVE NEVER MADE FUN OF MICHAEL JACKSON!" but this just sounds so wrong. It's the same sort of sensibility that would make them ask "which actor can very easily pop a wheelie without using a bike?" and have the answer be Christopher Reeve.
[Back of this card]
I know that Martin Sheen is spelled wrong, but that's not the point. Telefonia, really? Yes, this was made in the 90's but back then I called it a radio just like any other normal human.
Oh. Kay. Uh...that is a seriously bad joke. Mona lisa? I...there's just no words to describe how painful this one is.
And now, I truly want you to play.
Riddle me this. What's your guess? I'd say Sean Penn. What? How else would you answer who is the "biggest dick" in cinema? And I'm not basing my guess on inches. Oh, no, I get it. It's Dick Tracy! I bet you it's Dick Tracy, because the previous one had an equally bad joke on it. Shall we look at the back of the card?
...All things considered, whales do have massive dicks.