Friday, 21 September 2012

The Big Bang - Doctor Who s5e13 recap

Ready for shit to go down? And just for fun, here are my predictions:

  • We will find out who Riversong killed and it's not the Doctor
  • We won't find out who she is just yet
  • The Doctor is going to push some big red button to make this all disappear and transform the Pandorica into a real fairytale
  • MORE EYES
  • AND LEGS


Yay, we get to see more of her! Such a lovely young girl.


O...kay.


Interesting. And this is glued to the Pandorica box.


“Okay, kid, this is where it gets complicated.”

That's...quite an understatement.


Rory sounds like Marvin from Hitchhiker's Guide. “I suppose this means we've never been born. Twice, in my case.”


Did you ask for a ridiculous miracle? Well, I'm sorry, but all we had were ridiculous hats.


LAZOR FIGHT!


Just a quick note: history has collapsed.


“Your girlfriend isn't more important than the rest of the universe.”

Hello, asshole Doctor. Lovely to see you, again. Note that he told Rory that he couldn't revive Amy because he didn't have time .



“SHE IS, TO ME.”

Go Rory, go! I've been watiting for someone to do that all season, so thank you.



And the Doctor was an asshole just to be sure he isn't a robot anymore. Or something. They put Amy in the box, and then, 2000 years later, she gets a sample of her own DNA, which makes her alive again.


“The Doctor is here.”


Very long story indeed.


That is River's “vortex manipulator”. *cough* TIME AGENT *cough*


Rory wants to be inside with her. To serve as her guard. 2000 years awake.


This is beautiful.


Wow, I knew I loved Rory, but this just settles it.


He's still alive! AND KILLING DALEKS. Where do I get my Rory t-shirt? I need one.


The Doctor is being a cock-block. Oy, just because you don't have any, doesn't mean you have to take the fun away from other people.

And btw, the handwriting on the post-it note? It's the Doctor's.


Unexpected Doctor from the future is very unexpected. And probably telling him something. In gallifreyan.


The Doctor has a big butt. He could have at least closed the pandorica. Though if he did, there would be no plot.


Meanwhile, River is still stuck in some sort of time loop...thing. So the Doctor eventually saves her, brings her back to the ROOF OF DESTINY they are all assembled in and...


Riversong: “What the hell do you have on your head?”
Doctor: “It's a fez. Fezes are cool.”

Which probably sounds a lot better if you can't speak portuguese.

“We're going to reboot the universe.”


My thoughts exactly, Rory.


Well, shit. Now we definitely need a reboot.


Finish him, River.


“Mercy!”

Flawless Victory.


So he went to the Pandorica to...tell River the Tardis is the “burst of energy” he needed?


The Doctor will be at the center of the explosion and thus...he will never have been born. All is well everywhere, but every record of him is erased.


“Gotcha.”


The images are all going in reverse. I wasn't half wrong about the big red button, was I?


“Hello universe, goodbye Doctor.”

33

Batman is closing in. The Doctor will be no more. Well, until 5 minutes from now when he comes up with something brilliant.


OH! OH. So this is why dear Luís told me to look for continuity errors.

Still, I kinda expected a bit more.


The cracks won't close until he's on the other side.


It's the day before Amy's wedding again.


She has parents, now!


River is clearly doing The Creep.


And she left the Tardis-diary for Amy. It's blank.


Legs, you're almost there. Shame no one is wearing a fez, otherwise she'd remember right away.


I was kidding about the fez, yet this is more ridiculous that anything I could conjure.


EARTH. FIRE. WIND. WATER. AND LOVE! It's like the Fifth Element.


She remembers the Doctor and the bastard is late for her wedding. I hope that it wasn't the wine knocking four times.
 
45

He looked less silly with the fez.

46

Doctor: “Congratulations to the new Mr. Pond.”
Rory: “That's not how it works...yes, yes it is.”


THE DOCTOR IS DANCING, KIDS. To...Queen's “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”. Moffat was so going to get him to dance again. It had to happen.

47

Doctor: “Are you married, River?”
Riversong: “Are you asking?”

And we won't find out who she is until next season. I wish I was surprised.

48

Amy waves goodbye to the world. Again.

My thoughts? Very anticlimactic. A bit “meh”, even. The season was fine, I suppose, but I wasn't really gripped by it. Guess I'll have to continue watching, won't I?

Until the Christmas Special, guys!

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