Monday, 30 July 2012

The Pandorica Opens - Doctor Who s5e12 recap


Why hello thar, second-to-last episode.


Wait, what? We're back to Vincent?


Oh, I see what they're doing. They're giving us a crack rift tour.


I like that font, but where the fuck is this?


Should have known. It's the prison she's in. I love her hair like that.


The world is nooooooooooooooooot enough! I always liked that Garbage video. And the song, obviously.


*snort* Okay, this was really cute.


Hm. What's Riversong up to?


HELLZ YEAH JACKIE BROWN. I mean, your Majesty.


Riversong: “The Doctor's in trouble, I need to find him. Also, have you seen my marvellous cleavage?”
Queen Liz: “Yes, I have. Very good indeed. Want to check out mine?”

[cut to awesome sex]

Oh, I'm sorry, I was just...imagining I wrote the show again. Never mind. The Doctor is in trouble, though.


Whoever dresses her has a lot of fun, don't you all agree?


She's staring at the ring. Also, EYES. HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW THEY LIKE TO SHOOT EYES A LOT? I SURE HAVEN'T. IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S BEEN IN EVERY OTHER EPISODE OR SOMETHING.

So, they've off to read some ancient writing that has never been deciphered.


Well, that settles it, then.

They then travel to Rome, where a soldier greets the Doctor like he's Caeser.


“Cleopatra will see you now.”

That Riversong sure kisses a lot of people.


She wrote on a cliff because he wouldn't answer his phone. Fair enough.


And this is the painting she wanted to deliver. Van Gogh had a vision and created this. That goddamn Batman! And his cosmic lemonade!


See, told you we'd see River again when this was in the title.


It's the three horsemen of the time vortex!

Btw, the painting has the same name as this episode.


I love when they showcase how pretty the UK is.


It's never that easy.


“What's in there, what could justify all this?”

My guess: not Daleks. And minutes after I said that, we hear a Dalek. GUESS I WAS WRONG, THEN. I hate being wrong. Oh, but there's Cyberman.


And Sontarans! And fart aliens! And Sychorax! And...shit just got real.

Their plan? To get the romans to attack.


“You're all barbarians now.”


Amy asks about the ring, the Doctor vaguely explains that things can't really be forgotten and...she doesn't get it. They get shot by a Cyberman's arm and to stop it, the Doctor asks Amy to step in the line of fire.


Best. Idea. Ever.

Thursday, 26 July 2012

The Lodger - Doctor Who s5e11 recap

You guyz. OMGZ.
Also, when you have to actually google the name of the next episode, you know it's been a long ass while.




So this starts off well. The Doctor leaves the Tardis and it starts being all explody and stuff with Amy in it. Oh, yeah, this must be the companion-less episode. Or the Doctor-less episode.

One day later...

 

Creepy house. I hope it doesn't have a child who draws monsters or something.


Oh, it's that bloke from Gavin and Stacey who is...not Gavin. Or Stacey.


Note the flyer. Clever.
His almost-girlfriend goes because of PLOT happening and as he's talking to himself, wondering if he should tell her he loves her, the door rings. He opens it while saying “I love you”--


Always jumping out of the wrong cake, Doctor. Does he have...something in his ear?


“This is how people kiss nowadays, right?”

Kinda.