Cherry Rambles

Vincent and the Doctor - Doctor Who s5e10 recap

2011-08-05T10:11:00.007+01:00

BILL NIGHY! This is off to a good start.

Amy suspects the Doctor isn't telling her anything because he's been taking her to lots of nice places.

And they find a evil looking face in a painting. How that is a face, I don't know. But off to investigate they go!

Before they fangirl about each other's ties, the Doctor asks Bill the exact date of the painting. It was done the night before he killed himself. I hope it's not a giant bee again.

Nice polish colour. I've noticed Amy favours dusty colours. Even a few episodes ago she was wearing a sort of grey-ish purple. And yes, I know this is interesting to no one.

Nice job with the actor. He finds Amy cute and proceeds to ask her...

Vincent: “That accent of yours...are you from Holland, like me?”
Amy: “No.”
Doctor: “Yes!”

They fangirl over each other's hair. I think I may have said this at least 10 times in the last few recaps, but I love gingers. I love their freckles, their almost translucent eyelashes, their general...gingerness.

“You've had enough coffee now. How about some nice, calming...tea?”

Vincent fights something invisible and the Doctor? Well, he does try, but he mostly looks like the Star Wars kid.

This is what the monster looks like, according to Vincent.

This is how the doctor does research.

Another Classic Who callback. I still love it when they do this. Even if they did it 3 or 4 times already, this season.

Amy was bored so she goes to find the Doctor and scares the ~~shit~~ living daylight out of him.

They discover what the monster is but they have to be careful so that he doesn't die.

“If Amy Pond can soldier on, so can Vincent Van Gogh.”

Leg watch: surprisingly covered up.

I've just realized that I've seen something like this before. Someone using mirrors...oh, right, now I remember! It was Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Yes, I'm a nerd.

They hide inside a church (again) and the Doctor asks Amy to breathe...in a quieter way.

Asshole watch: between douche and smug.

He calls Van Gogh “Rory”.

Vincent slays the invisible creature and it's a huge relief, because this is kind of boring.

If I was directing this, I'd totally play some Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Love the poster abuse on the Tardis. And this is Vicent being all “OMIGAWD IT'S BIGGER ON THE INSIDE”.

They take him to Paris so he can see that his works lived on. He takes all this is to the sound of a completely misplaced song.

I mean, the scene in itself is very moving but the music playing is so out of place. It's Doctor Who, not Grey's Anatomy. In a later conversation with several Who fans, we all came to same conclusion. Why him? Out of all the remarkable people they saved, why did he, in particular, get to see his future?

And though he seemed very happy, it turns out that he still killed himself.

Amy is sad, and the Doctor is trying to comfort her. When is he going to tell her about Rory?

OH, COME ON. Really, people? Is this what we are doing now? Well, okay. I guess it's cute.

“If I had married him, our kids would have had very, very red hair.”

Which is why it would have been awesome. Despite the whole ear-cutting bit.

Next up? The companion-less episode. Was there a Doctor-less episode this season?

Cold Blood - Doctor Who s5e9 recap

2011-08-03T09:33:00.000+01:00

I'm sorry for the wait. I had a decent backlog of posts but then I started working so that all fell apart. To make for that, I'll try to post 2 more recaps this week. "Try" being the operative word.

It starts with a narration. The Doctor helped the two races coexist. This is that story. Hm. Very "The End of Time", this.

“The front door is the best way to enter, of course.”

So that only took...2 minutes.

The mad surgeon gets called away just in time. Maybe he went for lunch.

Amy cleverly pickpocketed him and sets herself and the other bloke free. Trying to find a way out, they find his kid instead.

I assume he's also being transformed into a tree.

Rory is remarkable in this. The alien lady said one of them will kill her and he's trying his best to keep everybody calm and organized. So this is what @jjnopants meant when he said Rory was only wimpy around Amy.

They are decontaminating the Doctor. I wonder if they are going to mention his two hearts.

The old fella who got licked offers to help alien lady escape in exchange for a cure. I agree with her when she tells him she wouldn't trust someone who betrays his own species that easily.

They are going to send a message to the surface. About the Doctor's execution.

Oh dear. She's killing her.

And now she's dead. Good luck with that war, guys.

They contact the surface gang and because they don't show them the alien hostage, they threaten to execute Amy. Rory takes charge. I'm liking this.

They are having a meeting. A diplomatic meeting.

Meanwhile, the Doctor tells the surface gang that it's safe to go down and all they have to do is bring the alien lady. Who is kinda dead.

Oh, she killed the scientist. And she's waking up her army. This can't end well.

The elder alien has a solution: fumigate the city and those awake will die. The rest will live. The Doctor doesn't like it when people have to die.

Meera and the grandfather stay below, while the rest run to the Tardis and...

Batman. I knew it.

The Doctor does the sensible thing and puts a handkerchief through it.

Rory: “What is it?”
Doctor: “I don't know.”

Well, shit!

The last words she hears from him are “you are beautiful. I'm sorry”. This is why I like Rory.

I really wish I didn't know he was in next season. This is a powerful moment but I know he didn't really die.

The rift will make Amy forget he existed. And the Doctor just moves away. And they bring everyone home safely.

This was the thing the Doctor took from the rift.

And next episode is the Van Gogh one, which, if I remember correctly from what people have told me, was one of the weaker episodes. It's probably weaker because it's one of those episodes-air-before-the-final-3-episodes, so much like Fear Her, Boomtown and...wow, I can't even remember the others, but they suffer from pre-finale syndrome. Still, I'll try to keep an open mind.

Literary Cleanup, book #14

2011-07-19T09:01:00.000+01:00

Terry Pratchett - Mort (the portuguese translation is available at your local library)

The palate cleanser. After I read the previous two books, I started Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. I want to like Douglas Adams. I know he's funny, the ideas are interesting but the style of writing on that particular book is very hard to get into. 65 pages in, and no sign of wanting to continue, I figured I'd motivate myself by reading the last Discworld book on my shelf (for now, because much like Pokemon, I feel like I gotta catch 'em all).

I went through it about a week, which is quite fast for me, seeing as I only picked it up every other day. As with previous Pratchett books, I quite enjoyed this. More so because this book starts the Death saga (if you are unsure what I meant by that, click on this). Death is, without a doubt, one of the funniest characters in the whole Discworld universe. The all caps talking, kitten loving skeletal figure is at the core of this novel though he's not its main character, as I first thought.

The main character is a fella called Mort. Characterized as a person who "thought too much" and was "made of knees", he was pushed by his father to become an apprentice. His mentor? Death. From here, we not only witness the delightful minutia of Death's work and routine, but also, Mort's evolution into a person made out of less knees. I won't dive the story too much, as I want you to enjoy it as much as I did, but I'll state that this is probably the easiest read I had this year. So much fun in 300 pages...what more could you ask. Well, possibly a curry.

Excerpt:

"I'm no demon, I'm a human!" he said, and stopped in shock as his words emerged in perfect Klatch.
"So you're a thief?" said the father. "A murderer? To creep in thus, are you a tax-gatherer?" His hand slipped under the table and came up holding a meat cleaver honed to paper thinness. His wife screamed and dropped the plate and clutched the youngest children to her.
Mort watched the blade weave through the air and gave in.
"I bring you greetings from the uttermost circles of hell.", he hazarded.

The Hungry Earth - Doctor Who s5e8 recap

2011-07-18T10:20:00.003+01:00

Hellz yeah, Welsh accents!

Meera Syal! For those who have no idea what I'm talking about, let this refresh your memory.

Apparently, they are drilling far into the Earth. Maybe this company is run by cats .

Should have paid your cable, welsh man.

That is one hungry hole. This sentence sounded less dirty in my head.

Oh, and the episode is actually called “Hungry Earth”. I wasn't too far off, was I?

Leg watch: still very exposed. She is “dressed for Rio”, which is where they were supposed to land, but we all know that even in freezing cold she couldn't stop being our good old Legly Pond.

Some people wave at them.

According to the Doctor, it's Amy and Rory from 2020. I'm sorry, what?

Rory goes back to the Tardis to store their engagement ring so Amy doesn't lose it. And when he gets out...

The family of that bloke who got sucked by the Hellmouth is waiting for him. She called the police and she's assuming...he's it.

The body of her aunt is no longer in the grave. This sounds more like a Torchwood episode. And I don't know if that's good or bad.

Hellmouth has caught Amy. She's making a habit of almost dying every episode, isn't she?

And she gets sucked in, despite her enormous set of gams. Meanwhile, the little kid tells Rory that the graves eat people. And he's inside of one of them. Fancy that.

The Doctor can still hear drilling even though they shut off the drill. They run outside and the sky is all weird. How does the Doctor test it?

Sure, don't we all have slingshots in our suits?

It's a shield originating from below...or they're just trapped inside a jelly mold.

Rory finds the Doctor and asks for Amy. He tells him Amy was sucked into the earth.

Rory is pissed. I feel like I've written that sentence a lot in the last couple of episodes.

“You should have tried harder!”

Eye-watch [yay redundancy!]: 1.

They set a base inside a church (not the first time the Doctor has been stuck inside one, huh?) and create a sort of monitoring system so they can see if the earth moves.

The lady gathers weapons so they can defend themselves and the Doctor warns her to put them away in a sort of...scary manner. See, still an asshole. The world is right again.

It's like that Simpsons episode where they put Springfield inside a dome.

The Doctor was the last to see the kid but was so caught up in his own world that he didn't realize he wasn't inside the church when they closed the doors.

Oh, crap. And they took him.

Double crap!

So this is the threat.

The Doctor puts on some cool shades...

...so he can have night-vision, though they probably are 3-D glasses. It's like They Live! Is he going to run out of bubblegum soon?

LEGS!

She's alive, but stuck inside what looks like a glass coffin.

The aliens have masks, apparently.

It looks pretty. Yes, I'm like Captain Jack. If it has a post code, I'm on it.

The Doctor is interrogating it. It's like LA Noire, except with less Mad Men cast members.

And they are not aliens, they're earth-liens.

The old man that was licked by one of the earth-liens is turning into...a...tree?

Meanwhile, Amy's about to be dissected. Sounds like fun. Maybe they can find the secret of her legs.

Dr. Meera and the Doctor go down in the Tardis so they can save everyone.

Except for the small problem of having to fight against an entire civilization. It looks like the Nether, but with less Zombie Pigmen.

And wow, I only now realized this is a two parter. Guess I'll have to see the next episode...now. (Which for you all means “in a couple of days”).

Amy's Choice - Doctor Who s5e7 recap

2011-07-13T11:26:00.001+01:00

Yep, no explanation. Right off the bat I'm thinking that it's an alternate reality.

Rory's hair is tragic.

“You swallowed a planet.” That's what...you know what, I'd better not. But yeah, this is so not...actual storyline right now.

“What a nice bench.”

I get you, Eleven. I'm very awkward at small talk too.

So, they've woken up and Amy's not pregnant. That was still too...specific to be a dream sequence. Also, how many dream sequences have there been in Doctor Who? Not many, I'd wager.

And they wake up again in Nothing-Happens-Amy's-Pregnant-ville realizing, as they did in the Tardis, that they all had the same dream.

So the question is: which one is reality. The Tardis or the other...one. Hm. I hate to be a spoil-sport but Nothing-Happens-Amy's-Pregnant-ville does kinda scream “dream” in all caps.

They are in a dead time machine. Hm.

Each time they change, Amy and Rory argue that the reality they are in is the correct one. The Doctor spots old people being creepy in a house so he says “something is wrong...let's go poke it with a stick”. Which I'm sure applies to many situations.

“Can we not do the running bit, please?”

I also love Pregnant and Bitchy Amy.

And that guy is a...dreamlord. Doesn't sound as cool as timelord, I'm afraid.

Amy, that's kind of a...absurdly terrible time to be in labour. But I guess the most terrible bit is the two blokes flailing around you.

Oh, that was to make a point. Go Pregnant Legs, go!

They are drifting towards a cold star. That's why they are freezing. And the Doctor tells them that it might be the battle they have to love. Needless to say, Rory is pissed.

The Church of Python was true! Hell's Grannies do exist! How many more britcom references can I put in a single comment?

More eyes. I hope next season we see ear monsters. Or eyebrow aliens. Or creatures related to ancient knees.

It's no Hot Fuzz, but I still enjoyed seeing him do that to an old lady.

“Oh, my boys, my poncho boys. If we're going to die, let's make a folk band.”

I bet Moffat saves his best lines for Amy, because this was brilliant.

The dreamlord fella divides them up, so only Amy is awake on the Tardis. He tells her to pick a world.

Apparently, picking a world also means picking one of them.

And now, he can never return to his village.

Which kinda proves the other reality is the real one. I'm sorry, but since I know he's in next season, I don't really expect him to die.

Amy: “You save everyone. You always do.”
Doctor: “Not always.”
Amy: “Then what is the point of you?”

Doctor: “What if this is the real world?”
Amy: “It can't be. Rory isn't here.”

They chose well. Well, kinda. The Doctor blows up the Tardis because he “knows who he is”. The dreamlord guy, that is. So both of the realities were dreams. Well played.

And the dreamlord was...him? Okay, then.

Go, Rory! (The screencap isn't clear, but he “started” it. In a very loving yet assertive way.)

Da fuq. It did seem to me that the explanation was a bit...well, pulled out of his timelord ass.

Well, we won't until...I'd say “next time” but next time we're probably going to see a completely different episode.

Vampires of Venice - Doctor Who s5e6 recap

2011-07-11T10:39:00.000+01:00

Prepare for one of the longest recaps yet. Also, gifs courtesy of rightclick5ave @ LJ, via the Doctor Who community.

Venice, apparently. And since I know the title of this is “Vampires of Venice”...oh, look, it's Twilight. If it was good. Or interesting. Or not written by someone who obviously has some issues with strong-willed women. Or something.

He's begging Totally Not a Vampire lady to take his daughter because she has no future at the moment, since he is a boat-builder. I'm guessing he doesn't know she is going to die.

AND WE SHALL TAUNT YOU WITH CONTEMPORARY DANCE. She's so dead.

I'm assuming he doesn't need a dentist. Yep, murder it is.

Gotta love this transition. Rory (Amy's future husband, whom we met in the first episode) is at his stag party.

He's calling her because he hasn't told her he loves her in 7 hours which is “a scandal”. Wow, I like him a lot already.

A cake rolls in and...hey, presto...

Did you expect anyone else? I mean, he's timelessly sexy. What? No? Bad one? Okay, okay.

“There's a girl standing outside in a bikini. Could someone give her a jumper? Lucy, lovely girl.”

Oh, clueless-about-sex timelord.

“We need to talk about your fiancé. She tried to kiss me. Well, you're a lucky man, she's a great kisser.”

THIS IS FANTASTIC. THE AWKWARD IS GIVING ME AN INGROWN TOENAIL. MORE, PLEASE.

When Rory seems to be more knowledgeable and really, not at all bewildered about the TARDIS, the Doctor protests. He likes it when people say that it's bigger on the inside. Doctor, if you like it then you should have put a ring on it.

He sends them on a date. To Venice.

How many seconds did it take you to stop staring at her tights? 17, with me.

There's no plague in Venice because of Signora Calvieri (I hope I'm writing this correctly). No, that doesn't look like a freemason symbol at all.

“I'm hydrating!”

Cassandra?

Why are vampires always so dramatic? Also, Oedipus.

“Did you miss me?”

Yes, she totally did. You can tell because she's acting in a completely natural way. I punch both of my cats when I get home from a trip, because I missed them so damn much.

I think these are the moments Doctor Who kind of excels in. Little things that immerse you even further. Or I just like it because it's something I would do.

They hear a scream and it's Angsty Quasi-Teenager Vampire (slightly) murdering a girl. Normal stuff, you see. He runs away, though. It comes to mind that Rory must worry about Amy a lot more than she realizes.

This episode sponsored by TEETH. He sneaked in the castle and the creepy girls that I didn't screencap before (I figured we'd see them again) welcome him. Kinda.

“How are you doing that?”

Wibbly-wobbly bloody-vampire-y stuff.

AWESOME. No words. Just...awesome. I'm guessing it's a shoutout to some episode with the First Doctor, though I could be wrong.

They only want a kiss, Doctor. And some porcelain caps.

So he runs into Amy and keeping with the theme, they celebrate finding vampires like any Twilight fan would.

Right, then. So they conjure a plan to get inside (I was going to say “penetrate” but I better not) the castle and Amy suggests she volunteers as one of the girls they recruit. With the Doctor giving her away. As her fiancé. And then...

She tells Rory to do it. And say he's her brother. If I was Rory, I'd be very pissed right about now.

Totally Not a Vampire Lady: “Do you like her?”
Angsty Quasi-Teenager Vampire: “I do, mother, I do.”

This plan is full-proof, I must say.

This made me giggle a lot.

See? Full-proof. Nothing bad is going to happen.

The Doctor needs to stop making people tell him that his is bigger.

This is still...quite bad.

Rory is fucking pissed . And with good reason. He tells the Doctor the worst thing about him is that he makes people want to impress him. True. Very true.

YES, YOUR POWER IS IN THE LEGS. Get them, Legs McGee!

Hm. Looks like Abe's Odyssey.

The Doctor gets electrocuted like shit, but he won't regenerate because there is still one and a half seasons left at the time I'm writing this.

This was the daughter of that bloke we saw at the beginning. Poor girl.

Totally Not a Vampire Lady: “Let me guess. The owner of the psychic paper?”

That's how I roll, sucka.

Apparently, they ran from the silence. HEY, BIG BAD OF THE SEASON, HAVEN'T HEARD ABOUT YOU IN A WHILE.

So, they saw the Batman rift, and through it other worlds, people and silence. I wanted to say “no, that's just the intro of the show”, but it wasn't that funny, so I didn't.

Another thing I've noticed. This Doctor gets very close to people's faces and whispers a lot.

And he really likes the sound of his own voice.

Totally Not a Vampire, No, Seriously, She's An Alien Lady is going to sink Venice and repopulate using the girls she transformed. The Doctor's reaction?

“Eeeugh.”

The creepy girls find them and the father stays in the house, luring them away.

He totally has a “THIS. IS. SPARTA.” moment, just before he lights all the gunpowder he safely keeps at home.

Oh, bad CG. How I missed thee.

Just as this dude is about to (slightly) murder Amy, Rory insults his mum. Bad move, it seems.

And Rory tries to make a cross with candlesticks to keep him away. Which reminds me of an Eddie Izzard bit. After managing to keep him from hurting Amy, Rory falls down and Amy saves him by using a tiny mirror to reflect light.

Amy: “Why did you make the sign of a cross?”
Rory: “Am I being reviewed now?”

Loved this. Made me smile.

King Kong Doctor saves the world.

And Rory joins the Doctor...already? Didn't that only happen next season? Oh well, I don't mind it.

“All I can hear is silence.”

Literary Cleanup, book #13

2011-07-07T06:36:00.002+01:00

(Which was also on my ~~list of books I had to read for a class~~ shelf.)

Mário de Sá-Carneiro - A Confissão de Lúcio (available at your local library)

Liking Fernando Pessoa as much as I do, I don't know how I never stumbled across the idea to read Mário de Sá-Carneiro. I guess I just forgot he existed, perhaps due to how short of a career he had. I will tell you up front that you should read this. I won't say I'm not biased because this is indeed a subject I really like to delve in (that being the pain connected to coming out and accepting who you are). In fact, I have, if I recall correctly, at least two other books dealing with the same problems. One of them, I even bought on impulse as soon as I read the back cover synopsis.

It's not only because of that. As some of you may know, it's said Sá-Carneiro was gay and obviously must have had an incredibly difficult time dealing with it. Lúcio sounds like him. A guy who is in law school, decides to go to Paris, becomes entranced with the city's bubbling night life, meets several people of "the arts", as you might call them. That was Sá-Carneiro's life. He was disappointed with Coimbra, so he moved to Paris and instead of finishing college in Sorbonne he was intoxicated by the culture (modernism was blossoming, so the sudden clash with the avant-garde aesthetic created a whole new artist in him).

Lúcio starts out the book by stating that he is in prison for a crime he didn't commit. He didn't murder his best friend, Ricardo de Loureiro, but now, years later, he writes to us to confess his innocence. He doesn't expect us to believe him, but he feels he must. This is how his story begins. We see his journey, from Lisbon to Paris and back again, along with his interesting relationship with Ricardo and eventually, with his wife Marta. I won't exactly spoil the book for you, because it is something I advise all of you to pick up, but Sá-Carneiro manages to not only be riveting but also intimate. You feel you are in a room with these characters, watching things happen. There's also a sort of raw sensuality in his words, along with a deep pain. His way of describing certain situations is so palpable and interesting to discover that I think I may pick this up again to read it with a bit more time. After all, because I had to read this for a class, I was rushed, and I felt like I didn't pay it the attention it deserved.

Even still, Lúcio, Ricardo and Marta will remain in my mind for a long time. As will Mário de Sá-Carneiro.

Excerpt:

As bailadeiras começaram as suas danças. Tinham as pernas nuas. Volteavam, saltavam, reuniam-se num grupo, embaralhavam os seusmembros, mordiam-se nas bocas…
Os cabelos da primeira eram pretos, e a sua carne esplêndida de sol. As pernas, talhadas em aurora loura, esgueiravam-se-lhe em luz radiosa a nimbar-se, junto do sexo, numa carne mordorada que apetecia trincar. Mas o que as fazia mais excitantes era a saudade límpida que lembravam de um grande lago azul de água cristalina onde, uma noite de luar, elas se mergulhassem descalças e amorosas. A segunda bailadeira tinha o tipo característico da adolescente pervertida. Magra — porém de seios bem visíveis —, cabelos de um louro sujo, cara provocante, nariz arrebitado. As suas pernas despertavam desejos brutais de as morder, escalavradas de músculos, de durezas — masculinamente.

Flesh and Stone - Doctor Who s5e5 recap

2011-07-04T12:18:00.003+01:00

Let's all find out who Riversong really is, shall we? Oh, who am I kidding. We probably won't really know until next season.

(I expect to be using this gif a lot in the next couple of weeks.)

So after they all jumped...

...things are upside down. Okay, I'll go with that.

PERPLEXED AMY IS PERPLEXED.

Eerie as balls. The Doctor screams that there isn't a manual for this.

“God be with us all.” They are stuck in a tunnel and the only way to open the door is to...you guessed it, turn off the lights.

I should have kept a counter of how many times Amy said “Doctor” because it seems like that's the extent of her role in this episode, so far. I can only imagine Moffat's directions to Karen Gillan “hey, for this one, just look bug-eyed and say “Doctor” a lot, okay?”.

This guy went to check the “rad levels”. You idiot, first you take a Rad-X and then check the rad levels.

Btw, I didn't explain, but this is their “oxygen factory”. The angels need to breathe, too.

THAT GODDAMN BATMAN. So the Batman rift is...caused by the angels? Also, Amy is counting. Which is bad. Or good, if you are a small child learning how to count.

But the rift, in the Doctor's words, is...”extremely very not good”.

Amy isn't just sleeping, it seems.

FRECKLES. I love gingers. ~~Sometimes, literally.~~ Anyway, THIS SEASON IS SPONSORED BY THE FACT THAT WE HAVE EYES.

And there's an angel inside her. But that problem is quickly solved by the simple matter of her not ever opening her eyes again. So that's sorted. Shall we all go for a curry? Oh, right, still 30 minutes left.

We've come a long way from “don't blink”, haven't we?

I will state that I like Riversong a lot more because of how caring she is. Well, caring towards Amy. Like she was her mother.

Doctor: “But that's not the plan.”
Riversong: “There's a plan?”
Doctor: “I don't know yet, I haven't finished talking.”

So this is the famous line everyone quoted. I expected it to come in a more dramatic moment. Not that being stuck in a forest full of angels, with only 5 soldiers and a blind Amy is not that dramatic, but you get my idea.

Doctor: “You need to start trusting me.”
Amy: “You don't always tell me the truth.”
Doctor: “If I always told you the truth I wouldn't need you to trust me.”

Which is a sort of backwards logic, but I'll go with it, just because he realized how vulnerable she was. He kisses her forehead and asks her to remember something he told her when she was 7.

The angels are advancing, but I get the feeling Amy is going to save everyone. Again.

She needed to see the rift. And all but one of the soldiers go see the crack. And the one left doesn't remember the other 3. Much like Amy doesn't remember the Daleks.

The angels do not fuck around.

And the final soldier went to check the light. Oh, goody.

The Bishop fella begs the Doctor to leave him, but not without warning him that Riversong can't be trusted. He's apparently her guardian because she needs to fulfil a mission to pay her dues (she killed a man, it seems), as it were. Hm. My theory is still: rogue time agent. Hope she isn't a timelord.

What is this I see? The Doctor having feelings? For humans ? Blimey, when did this one stop being an asshole?

Poor Amy.

The Doctor finds a way to get Amy to go to them, which entails following the sound of his screwdriver. (That's what she said?) I love how fucking serene she is, despite the situation.

GO, LEGS MCLEGGERTON!

Riversong: “How do we stop it?”
Doctor: “We feed it.”
Riversong: “Feed it what?”
Doctor: “A big, complicated space-time event should shut it up for a while.”
Riversong: “Like what, for instance?”
Doctor: “LIKE. ME. FOR. INSTANCE.”

The angels are assuming she can see, so she has to move like she can.

Phew. That was way too close.

So, kids, if you ever have killer angels in your house, just turn off gravity.

Are we ever going to find out who Batman is?

Doctor: “He said you killed a man.”
Riversong: “Yes, I did.”
Doctor: “A good man.”
Riversong: “The best man I've ever known.”

No, surely it can't be that easy, can it? Nah. Surely not. And they will apparently meet again, when the Pandorica opens. Which, judging by the episodes titles I've seen...is probably a few episodes away.

Amy: “I want to go home. I want to show you something. You are running from River...I'm running too.”

Maybe she just wants an opinion on the dress. We know the Doctor watches Say Yes to the Dress religiously.

Clearly uncomfortable with weddings. I'm enjoying this.

BWAHAHAHAAH! I'm loving awkward-Doctor-that-doesn't-want-a-kiss. This is fucking awesome. Go Legly Pond!

You get it, Amy. You fucking get it.

Doctor: “The important thing is that I get you sorted out right now.”
Amy: “THAT'S what I've been trying to tell you.”

More of hypersexed Amy, please. She's funny.

And then the episode ends. Wha.

Okay then, this was good but only because Amy was all RARRRR MUST HAVE SEXYTIMES NOW.

Literary Cleanup, book #12*

2011-06-30T11:35:00.001+01:00

*Because it totally counts as a "book on my shelf", even though I had to read it for a class I was taking this year. Well, college caught up with me and I pretty much lost my mind. Couple that with the fact that getting through Dirk Gently's Holistic Agency is proving to be incredibly difficult, and you have a span of almost a year between the last book I reviewed (I use that word loosely, of course) and this one.

Nome de Guerra - Almada Negreiros (avaliable at your local library)

Apart from Manifesto Anti-Dantas and some of his paintings, I knew very little about Almada Negreiros. In fact, I didn't even know how much of a pioneer he was. We can see his work throughout Portugal, be it sculptures, paintings, quotes or murals, he's kind of...everywhere, really. But that's a subject for another post. For my money (or no money, really, since I use libraries religiously, and I advise you all to do the same), is it worth it to read "Nome de Guerra"?

I'd say that it's worth it for what it is. I'll explain. It's Negreiros' only novel and it's a very important work for its time. Though it was published in 1938 it was written much, much earlier, in 1925. Which means that it actually coincided with the Presença magazine movement, which Negreiros was also a part of. I'd say it's a very relevant book in portuguese literature...but I didn't really like it.

It has a very fragmented structure, so you learn the story from short snippets that are not directly linked, sometimes. The main guy is called Luís Antunes and he's a small town, simple guy. You can see already where this is going, right? If your hunch was "goes to the city, gets amazed by the sights and the women", you are correct. He eventually meets a prostitute who calls herself Judite and starts a sort of journey where he discovers who he really is. The book doesn't end with him feeling bad about being "tainted" and wanting to go back to his simple country life. No, that's...the middle of the book. And then the realizes that he is a new man and that he will make his own life wherever he wants to. And that both Maria (his country bride) and Judite were the same: just steps to reach his final goal of fully knowing himself.

The book is also peppered with lots of monologues from the narrator in which he discusses peculiar aspects of life (such as why we have names in the first place), that serve as a parallel for the events Antunes goes through, but they can also be interpreted as his own introspection, albeit with a distant tone.

In itself, as I've mentioned, it's a very interesting piece, but it didn't captivate me. Perhaps it was because I had read similar-themed works that I quite enjoyed (A Queda Dum Anjo being one of them) or maybe it was just his style of writing, but really, it all boils down to the fact that I couldn't relate to anything. Well, except for the brothels.

Excerpt:

Por sorte, a vaca não tem apelidos de família para lhe complicarem a existência. Mas, como é animal doméstico, vem a dar-lhe na mesma que tenha ou que não tenha apelidos. O ser animal doméstico faz com que fique dentro da circunscrição dos apelidos da família em casa de quem serve. A vaca é «Pomba», «Estrela», «Aurora» ou «Vitória» como uma pessoa podia ser apenas José, Maria, Luís ou Judite. É a domesticidade que leva a estas designações e para evitar o opróbrio da fria enumeração. São feitos da gentileza com facilidades para distinguir. Mas a verdade é que o facto de alguém ser Joana ou Manuel já é mais do que ser apenas homem ou mulher. Ser homem ou mulher é apenas a natureza; chamar-se João ou Manuela já é a natureza mais a vida inteira: é o problema. E se o João é Sousa e a Manuela é Pereira, então, à natureza e à vida junte-se-lhes ainda por cima a existência e complicou-se o problema.

The Time of Angels - Doctor Who s5e4 recap

2011-06-27T13:02:00.055+01:00

YA RLY.

I'm watching this one right after Victory of the Daleks, to see if I am more excited about one I know nothing about. In fact, I won't even look up the name for it.

DA FUQ. “She's here”, apparently. Oh no. It's Riversong, isn't it?

Damn, girl, those are some hot heels. Well, more like fuck me pumps. Is this the episode where we find out she and the Doctor bumped uglies? (I randomly found this gif, btw.)

Matching your nail polish to your shoes? Tsk, tsk.

This season does have a thing with eyes. And yeah, it's Riversong.

LEGS! Also, I remember first seeing set pictures of them and she was wearing that same outfit, so I assume the pictures I saw were from this episode. They are in a very old museum and that thing is a home box. What's a home box?

It's a box that gets home when shit happens. Also, the writing is gallifreyan. Add that information to this:

And it kinda makes me think that she is a timelady/human hybrid. You know, the thing that couldn't exist before. Sigh, I still mourn the loss of DoctorDonna. Well, I had thought about it before, but I mostly thought she and the Doctor did the pants tango together.

The message is “hello sweetie”.

You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

I am trying to keep an open mind, here, because I didn't really like Riversong when she first appeared. She certainly isn't making me change my mind so far.

So why am I not surprised that a Moffat-penned episode includes her and angels?

The Doctor asks “why didn't it make that noise” when Riversong lands the ship very smoothly. He's talking about this noise. Apparently, he always leaves the breaks on, because it's not supposed to make that noise.

“Time is not the boss of me.”

So he's trying to run away from Riversong. How admirable.

Doctor: “Amy, this is Prof. Riversong.”
Riversong: “I'm going to be a professor, am I? SPOILERSSSS.”

I fucking hate that line. It's not clever nor funny. As we've understood before, they keep meeting in the wrong order. So she has a handy diary to keep track of where they are supposed to be.

“Doctor, what do you know of the weeping angels?” Riversong was investigating the ship covertly (I guess) as it crashed, she noted that there's something in it that can never die.

And at this point, thousands of children are trying not to blink.

The IPad 7 is a bit bulky, isn't it? Wikipedia is looking good, though.

“Anybody need me?” Of course we do, Legs McLegly.

Bad move, Amy.

Extremely bad move. Note that the door has locked itself (or something) while she's been in there. And the image of an angel...becomes itself an angel. Hm.

Oh shit, son.

“River, hug Amy, because I'm busy”. Yep, the Doctor is still a massive prick. Note that Amy kind of saved herself again and was remarkably calm throughout. But he's busy.

Soldier Guy: “He doesn't know what you are yet, does it? Otherwise he won't help us.”
Riversong: “It's too early.”

And then, she mentions prison.

Time agent? Nah, Moffat probably created something completely different. Unless she's really a time lady. In which case: DONNA WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER.

Btw, they are in a huge maze filled with status, so it's going to be very easy to find...a statue.

Eyes again? I'm betting this season's big bad is a giant eye. Oh wait, that's episode 1.

Well, I'm fine, as long as she doesn't turn into water.

This is why Doctor Who needs better video game adaptations.

So they are all fucked and the Doctor decides to turn off his torch (after telling all of them to do the same, of course).

And they discover that every single statue is a weeping angel.

Credit to bluetooth16 via the LJ Doctor Who community. I'd make some of my own, but gifsoup is being a bitch and this is one of those days where I simply don't feel like searching for gif-making software again.

This was Bob. Was being the operative word. He was killed by the angels but still managed to communicate with the Doctor. And Amy?

She's partially made of stone, now. The Doctor asks her to concentrate. Very Kill Bill, this. Wiggle your big toe, Amy.

And then the Doctor BITES Amy. Maybe she's a vampire now.

Big nose. Oh, sorry, right, recap. So he just finds a way out. And stuff. No? Oh, right, it's a double episode. Hm. Interesting. He shot something but I have no idea what. See you guys next time, when shit happens. And do not blink.

Victory of the Daleks - Doctor Who s5e3 recap

2011-06-20T09:23:00.001+01:00

Hello thar, Church. “Time to roll out the secret weapon.”

I'd be more surprised if it wasn't for the end of last episode.

“Oh, stop it, Winston, I said I'm committed!” #IfIwroteDoctorWho

It's the army's new secret weapon. Oh yeah, this will TOTALLY end well.

This reminds me...does the BBC have the original sketches – if there were any – of the Daleks? Amy doesn't remember the Daleks. This is somehow weird, even though we've established before that people have a very short memory about aliens.

A Dalek just offered someone tea. I spat my lunch laughing.

The Doctor is trying to convince everyone that the Daleks are evil but no one is paying attention because of Amy's terribly short skirt. At least, that's what I assume.

You know, when 9 was cruel to a Dalek in the first season, I felt for him. And even though I know the Daleks are evil I just look at this one and think “he's mental”.

And then they activate. And transmit the message that they've found the Doctor to a Dalek ship. Oh, jolly.

Scientist guy: “I've created you!”
Daleks: “No, we've created you.”

The Doctor then fucks off on his own, leaving Amy in the safety of...World War II.

He threatens the Daleks with the TARDIS self-destruct device...is that...a biscuit?

The Daleks do manage to use that DNA to create some new Daleks before the Doctor can activate his biscuit.

Go, go DALEK RANGEEEEEEEEEERS! Mighty-obliterating-the-universe Dalek rangers!

Aside from being bulky motherfuckers, they are also kind of nazi Daleks, as they destroy the other ones because they weren't “pure” enough. ~~IT'S SYMBOLIC.~~

Dalek Rangers: “Self-destruct device non-existent.”
Doctor: “Alright, alright, it's a Jammie Dodger!”

So, ~~Ash~~ ~~Bishop~~ Scientist Android Guy makes use of his (borrowed) intelligence and builds some ships to fight the Daleks. Kinda looks like Star Wars.

So the ships manage to destroy the huge LAZOR that is keeping London all lit up, and then the Doctor orders them to destroy the Dalek spaceship.

The catch being that they will detonate the android and it will blow up the Earth. However, if the Doctor lets them go, they come back stronger than ever, since they are a new, more powerful race of Daleks. Of course, the Doctor chooses to save Earth. “His compassion is his greatest weakness. The Doctor failed.”

Iron Posh British Man!

...who doesn't blow up because of WUV. Sounds like one of my stories.

The Daleks disappear. The Batman crack has something to do with this, I'm sure.

Epic music plays because THE BRITISH ARE ZEE BEST. Or something. No, it's totally about the war. Not about the residual empire-like feeling they have. No, totally not that.

They let the android run away. He might be useful in a future season or something. As you can tell by the laconic recap, this episode has been a bit uninteresting to me.

DAMN YOU AND YOUR LEMONADE, BATMAN!

Fuck watching the preview. So, next time: who knows what will happen, because I don't want to be totally spoiled by a preview again.

Otomen - episode 7 recap

2011-06-16T07:48:00.000+01:00

Remember how picture heavy the last recap was? Well, this was such a interesting episode that I didn't even screencap half as much as I did last time.

To recap:

This is Douchebag Guy and Sidekick Girl. He is a shoujo manga writer and basically publishes what he sees happen between Asuka and Transfer Student Girl.

He doesn't want to be interviewed. BECAUSE ONLY GIRLS WRITE SHOUJO.

“Love-tic” is the manga Douchebag Guy writes. You know, the one that looks like Bleach.

Next day, in class, they all doing sketches of Asuka and Isono (the guy who drowned, but didn't) when the teacher notices that Douchebag Guy draws really well. Asuka is intrigued...but only because he thinks Douchebag Guy is also a fan of the manga. Then, Transfer Student Girl arrives and they squee for 5 minutes

Even he's WTFing all of the place.

He later learns that he's nominated for an award, and comes up with a genius plan.

BECAUSE ONLY GIRLS CAN DRAW SHOUJO.

...randomly, we see that Asuka's dad and Transfer Student Girl's dad were friends and that Asuka's dad is now working as a shoujo author. Other things he's working: polka dots. Get it, gurl.

I'm now taking guesses as to how long they will go on not realizing the manga is about them.

Oh geez. If you can't tell, that's Ms. Manly, Asuka's dad.

Yes, indeed. A magician makes you believes in impossible things.

This, by the way, is the reaction to his sister – Sidekick Girl is apparently his sister – telling him she can't show up and that he has to, as we say in portuguese, “desemerdar-se”.

In a touching moment, Asuka's dad meets his son, and gives him an autograph after Asuka reveals he always loved her work.

As expected, Love-Tic wins whatever award it was nominated for, and the author goes out to receive it

Cute shoes and the most tasteful makeup I've seen Thin Guy From Bleach do so far. And yes, Douchebag Guy called him especially to sparkle all over his face.

Oh god, they almost figured it out. And then the episode ended. * sigh *

Next episode: birthdays and a possible confession of TWU WUV (though I doubt this will actually happen...I mean, we are only in episode 8, and stuff like that only happens in the last episode)

Shortest recap yet! Huzzah!

Otomen - episode 6 recap

2011-06-13T07:22:00.002+01:00

Remember when I used to do these? If so, where can I send the money to?

I've actually finished the show, and it's taken me a while to put the recaps up simply because I've had absolutely no time to do so. Yay, college.

The episode starts with no explanations. Nothing new there.

...what?

Oh, it's a homecoming queen-type thing. And Transfer Student Girl's opponent is Leader of the Mean Girls. Wow, this is all SO SURPRISING.

Apparently, this Nadeshiko person is a very beautiful girl from a long time ago...

...that owned a copy of After Effects.

As you can see, the person playing Asuka's teacher is illustrating the legend of Nadeshiko. I capped this because I feel it will be relevant later, judging from the previews I've watched.

...effects.

To pay homage to this fairytale, there's an annual Nadeshi-con.

I know, you two would be PERFECT. OMGZ. THINK OF THE PRETTY APRONS.

The four aspects Transfer Student Girl will have to master are:

Which sounds very promising, as we know she used to punch bears in the face as a kid.

THE VAGINA TO END ALL VAGINAS.

Of course, the show finds a SUBTLE way to involve Asuka, so he becomes her “attendant”.

Because everyone was probably bored shitless and wanted to shut her up.

So, Queen Bitch is the representative of the third year, Transfer Student Girl represents the second year and the first year's face is...

Yep. I groaned in the exact same way you just did.

Elsewhere, Thin Guy From Bleach hears that Asuka is participating in the contest and thus, he decides to freshen up our memories by trying to be Queen Bitch's attendant. For no reason. CONFLICT.

The funniest part is the out-bitching that ensues. (The next bit is a little spammy, but worth it.)

The contest begins!

For a moment, I thought those were vuvuzelas. I was scared.

Trasnfer Student Girl and Queen Bitch make their entrances as normal and Bad Hair Dude...

...chooses a bad time for a makeover.

...this. Show. *shakes head*

THIS IS A REFERENCE TO GRAVE OF THE FIREFLIES. WHY. I FEEL VIOLATED.

Which, from what I understand, is impossible without the help of a man, as the obi is quite thick and needs to be tied tightly.

To me, this is more interesting than anything I've seen so far. All of those ties have meanings, as do the colours and patterns on each kimono.
Both Asuka and Thin Guy From Bleach fangirl over each other's work, even though they are RIVALS OF DOOM.

This ends up being a tie. The next event is

The tea ceremony. Also a fascinating part of their culture, because not only preparation is important, but also, the way you serve and handle the cups. Queen Bitch takes this one.

Next, flower arrangement!

Queen Bitch's work.

Transfer Student Girl's “original” take on flower arrangement.

Then, the attendants have to explain the pieces. Asuka bullshits his way through, and Thin Guy From Bleach sparkles his way through...until he says it's a soulless arrangement, because she is indeed a total bitch.

Transfer Student Girl wins.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THERE'S A TIE BEFORE THE FINAL EVENT. WHAT SAY YOU, OMC?

I KNOW, RIGHT?

Then, they cook in funny-looking aprons. Queen Bitch is doing just fine, but Transfer Student Girl's cooking is full of fail so Asuka MOUTHS WHAT SHE HAS TO DO IN A ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE AND IN PLAIN VIEW OF THE JUDGES, WHO SOMEHOW MISS THIS.

It actually looks delicious.

...but I'd eat Transfer Student Girl's dish much faster. It looks like something my mum would cook.

And this is why, out of all the people in the show, I like her the most. This is a very sweet scene and I fully believe she would do something like this. It's not fancy, but it's made with care.

The score is even, so they have a FINAL DECIDING TASK.

ARCHERY: THE SPORT FOR LADIES.

This shot isn't very clear, but Transfer Student Girl hits it.

In Asuka's land, there's no such thing as electricity.

Next episode: … I have no idea. I really don't.

Trivial Pursuit cards - WAT.

2011-06-07T22:59:00.001+01:00

And thus we've arrived at the final showdown. The one where I present you with some hilariously misprinted cards. I promise that by the end of this you will have a whole new perspective on the world.

Shall I give you an example? Let's try to answer the questions in this card:

1 - Okay, no idea. But probably somewhere in Europe.
2 - Sónia Braga, apparently.
3 - ~~Mr. Dog~~ Julius Caesar.
4 - As far as I can gather, Michelangelo.
5 - It seems "blenda" is already a mineral in itself, but it's the main source of zinc.
6 - You know, I'm not even going to try to guess, since this was written in the mid-90's and by now Australia has probably a lot more victories under their belt.

Okay, let's see if we got it.

So it seems that...what. Wait, what? Spider Woman was...postage stamps? Sun is a mineral? Okay. Let's try this again:

Barbara Streisand is a country. Morever, it's the birthplace of Frankestein. And Massachusetts is a lake in Asia. Good to know.

This one almost seems normal. Next!

First, Jesus on a toast and then...the Duke of Wellington on pastry.

I bet you all wondered what the hell was wrong with this one. I'll give you that. If Barbara Streisand is a country, then Batman can be one too.

Another new country. The republic of 7! But what I find most amusing is that I don't even get the last question but "Costinha" (a portuguese football player) makes perfect sense as the answer.

And now, for the last card of this bunch. In fact, this was the card that started it all. I present to you the best question/answer combo in all of Trivial Pursuit history. Note the pink question.

And that's a fact!

Reacções dos líderes dos maiores partidos - Eleições de 2011

2011-06-05T20:10:00.000+01:00

Avanço aqui em primeira mão fotos exclusivas dos secretários-gerais dos partidos depois de ouvirem as projecções dos resultados:

PSD:

PP:

CDU:

BE:

PS:

Exams, bathroom scribbles and acrylic hearts.

2011-05-30T00:57:00.000+01:00

I think I've pretty much summed up the content of this post in the title, but no matter. Since I had a fairly pleasant first exam, I thought I'd share the pictures I took today.

Firstly, even though the bathrooms at my school have been recently renovated, the students continue to have a sense of humour ~~and a complete disregard for public property~~.

If you can't decipher the writing on the door it reads "porco é o teu pai, cabrão! Até parece que não comes carne de porno." which roughly translates as "your dad is the pig, you unpleasant person! As if you don't consume the meaty goodness that is pork.". What? I said it was a rough translation of it. Below is a comment simply stating "I don't!", which, all in all, is very standard for FCSH. Let's not forget "Fanfas e os delírios do sexo anal" or whatever it was. This is sub par, really. 4 out 10. For the effort.

But then, I looked down.

Adorable! But perhaps slightly creepy given the fact that he's happily saying "hi!" as I'm peeing. Even still, this one gets 8 out of 10.

All this happened moments before I had my first exam. It was a very relaxed affair, as literature exams tend to be, if a bit chaotic because my school strives to be terrible in many ways. Seriously, I *laughed* when I heard that my college is, apparently, amongst the best in the world. Why? Because about 7 students had to do the exam in the hallway, even though my teacher tried her hardest to get a larger classroom. Moreover, those of us who managed to be inside the classroom had to put up with drill noises that were only halted because my teacher is a badass who gets shit done.

She's also quite sweet, to the point that she actually went to get some coffee for a few of us. Well, the ones who *asked*. Free of charge, even. Maybe I'm reading way too much into it, but I think it's quite cool that she is that kind. But while she was out, a guy from my class (called Júlio*, I believe) did this:

And this gets an 7 out of 10 because the teacher loaned the marker, even if she realized what it was for. It reads: "Send answers via post!" and "Answers: 1- dunno; 2- dunno" . After sneakily taking this, I darted through the test because I felt confident in my knowledge of the subject in question.

Well, sure, maybe it was confidence...

...maybe it was my lucky charm. Who knows. One down, 4 to go.

*I always remember the loud ones.

The Beast Below - Doctor Who s5e2 recap

2011-05-20T12:31:00.000+01:00

After a couple of troublesome days, exams are semi-over. I'd go into explaining why they are "semi-over" but I prefer not to dwell in negative stuff.

I do, however, have some extra time...so guess what time it is? MOAR DOCTOR WHO.

Unsurpringly british.

“Bad boy, Timmy.” WAT. Doctor Who sure loves creepy dolls. So this cute ginger boy apparently got a zero on some test and now he has to walk home? He takes an elevator and--

OMG SERIOUSLY STOP IT WITH THE CREEPY DOLLS GAAAAAAH.

I want her hair. I want to marry it.

“It's Britain, but metal.”

“We are observers. That's the number one rule in my travels, I never get involved.”

You lie, New Doctor. You lie.

“Sorry, checking all water in this area. There's an escaped fish.” Not going to lie, that was very amusing. He does deadpan quite well.

So Amy investigates the crying girl, ignores a keep out [I originally wrote "keep left"] sign and keeps having big eyes.

Meanwhile, the Doctor gets stuck in an outtake of V for Vendetta with someone who sounds very familiar, but I can't quite place it. So the water not moving is weird because a ship that big would vibrate. I did think it was a bit...quiet for a large ship.

And Amy is in a room, about to learn the ~~plot twist about 40 minutes too early~~ secret of the ship, and she has 3 buttons: record, protest and forget.

She presses the latter button and eventually sees a message from herself that she recorded, saying she should just leave as soon as possible to keep the Doctor safe. Intriguing.

“Amy, what have you done?” ...a lot more than you have so far, Mr. Bowtie.

Doctor: “The computer doesn't detect me as human.”
Amy: “You look human.”
Doctor: “You look timelord, we came first.”

Doctor: “Say weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”
Amy: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

Still a douche, I see. A more lovable one, though.

The big scary pit takes them into the dump and Amy's comment says it all. “It's mingin'!”

C.r.e.e.p.y.

Pistol-twirling sexy black lady saves the world.

This is suddenly a Tarantino movie. I like it. And she's...the queen. Yeah. You heard that right. And the queen is investigating her subjects because she feels there's something odd going on. Then, the guys in capes take her to “the tower”, where we find out the spaceship is being powered by a creature...who actually doesn't eat children. Surprising.

The queen is actually 300 years old (would still hit that) and every 10 years, she gets to this point, where she investigates and then gets to the point of having to either forget or abdicate. Guess which one she always picked?

“You don't ever decide what I need to know.” All this because she pressed the forget button without realizing it. “When I'm done here, you're going home.” YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE. THE BOWTIE DOESN'T DISTRACT FROM THAT FACT.

We do really have a theme now with showing people's eyes, don't we? Amy realizes that the children are the key.

You go, Amy! If you couldn't tell, she pressed the other button and the doctor was all OMG WTF YOU RUINED EVERYTHING FOREVER.

“If you were very old, and that kind, and the last of your species...you couldn't just stand there and watch children cry.”

Fuck yeah, Amy. I get the feeling I'm going to say that phrase a lot.

He's still a little bitch, you realize that, right?

The Doctor then receives a call...from...Churchill?

WAT.

THAT DAMN BATMAN AGAIN.

Veridict: Warming up to it. Warming up.

The Eleventh Hour - Doctor Who s5e1 recap

2011-03-25T20:12:00.000Z

Well, it's been a bloody long time, hasn't it? I promise to finish Otomen, but life has been quite hectic, but I've finally managed to sort out some free time to do this. And why, you ask, are you doing this before finishing Otomen or showing us the rest of those CRAYZAY Trivial Pursuit cards? Well, a number of reasons:

@jjnopants has been waiting for this for a while
@theent and another friend have been watching the show from the beginning (well, the beginning of the new seasons), so that alone has made me want to watch the show again
rather tired of having to avoid spoilers all the time
I just want to, okay?

Now, bare in mind, I saw the first episode with @jjnopants, after an evening of drinking, about a year ago, so I'm adapting some notes I took then, on his MANLY notebook—but I'm also watching the episode again, to see if I feel any different, for at the time I was very unimpressed. It was just after “The End of Time”, so it was quite jarring to see this new bloke who wasn't Tennant. It's exactly how I felt after the end of the first season, though by the end of the Christmas Invasion, I was willing to give Tennant a chance. Unfortunately, it wasn't the same with Matt Smith. We'll see if I change my mind.

OMG. It's...it's...LONDON! What a shocking turn of events.

Already with stuff in his mouth. Score one for NewNewNewNewNewNewNewNewNewNewNew Doctor.

What the flying fuck are these credits? The lettering bothers me a lot. I love you, Murray Gold, but I really dislike this arrangement. I wish Moffat didn't feel the need to change eeeeeeeeeeeeeeverything evar.

She is wishing for lots of stuff...and then we can hear the sound of the TARDIS landing. Also, I know this is Amy Pond. Just not sure why she's...this young. How do I know this? Well, I've seen pictures of the companion, I know she's ginger, so it only makes sense for this to be her.

OH HAI THUR. Wow, this really brings back memories of Partners in Crime. 10 always did a great "O HAI" face. Don't believe me? See for yourself.

Oh, cheesy CGI of the Doctor's...energy...timelordy...thing, you were missed. So far, lots of things that remind me of previous seasons. The little girl is quite adorable. The Doctor is being a bit of a git, though:

“I'm the Doctor. Do everything I tell you, don't ask any stupid questions and don't wander off.”

AND I SHALL CALL IT THE TREE OF JUSTICE.

He wanted an apple and now he's spitting it out. The doctor has cravings and is being weird with his food. Is he pregnant?

Want. To. Say. Something. About. This. Screencap. Out. Of. Context. GAAAAAH. In any case, he doesn't like yogurt either.

“You're Scottish, fry something.”

Yeah, I think he's a plonker too.

She then gives him bacon, beans, bread with butter. Despite the fact that he always spits them out or, in the cast of the last one, throws the plate out of the door whilst shouting “and STAY OUT!”, this is making me very hungry.

Also: this is the wasp episode all over again. Seriously, stop everything that you are doing, click on the link and go watch that scene. Donna was so fucking hilarious in it.

Fish fingers + custard = possibly one of the most disturbing screencaps I've ever made. And who else saw this and thought “I must try it”? Oh, someone has already done that? I see.

England is, according to Ms. Amelia, RAH-BISH. No discernible accent on the Doctor, though.

That apple reeks of “plot point”. Also, the Doctor is investigating Amy Pond's scary crack (in her bedroom wall, you perverts) and after pointing the screwdriver at it he says “wibbly-wobbly timey wimey”...not convinced, Mr. Smith.

Nananananannananannana BAT-DOCTOR.

O...kay then. Some mention of “prisoner zero” having escaped.

He promises to fetch her in 5 minutes, and we all know the Doctor is very good at hitting precise points in time.

Poor Amy.

Oh, Doctor, never change. Breaking into houses, being late as fuck...it's just how he rolls.

I can make it at home, for nothing! What the hell am I talking about? Shame on you for not remembering Goodness Gracious Me.

And Olivia Coleman! That is her, right? And all the coma patients are shouting “Doctor”. Reminds me of The Empty Child and one crucial point in season 3.

HELLO THERE. SLOW PAN ACROSS A NICE PAIR OF LEGS? THIS IS PROMISING.

Well, Amelia Pond has certainly grown up. And she's a police officer? In what department? The Incredibly Short Skirt Bureau?

“Where is Amelia? Has something happened to her?” Well, not to her, but to her LEGS. HAVE YOU SEE THEM GAMS?

Well, if you haven't...there they are. Again. Hot tights. In any case, Clearly Amy Pond is telling him Amelia Pond is no longer there. Are they just...different people, then?

FRECKLES. I'm sorry, I just...love gingers.

This wasn't to include yet another shot of her legs, but to make a point about how I didn't exactly get at what point he lost his sonic screwdriver.

The way that thing came down was SUPER CREEPY. Eeek.

I'm a kissogram! BWAAAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, Doctor Who.

He's trying to explain the whole creature-that-is-the-corner-of-your-eye-but-is-also-a-man-and-a-dog ...but I can't stop focusing on the fact that they still had HER LEG in the shot.

Meep! Angler-person is almost as scary as water-people.

One of my favorite things: licking stuff to see what it is. And the fangirls rejoice. He concludes the shed is 12 years old. “Why did you say 6 months??”

“Why did you say 5 minutes?!”

Doctor: You were a little girl, 5 minutes ago!
Amy: You're worse than my aunt!
Doctor: I'm the Doctor, I'm worse than everybody's aunt.

That spaceship is totally going to kick some ice...or murder the world in 20 minutes.

This episode sponsored by Multiopticas.

I really love the following sequence, which was apparently done by just taking a lot of photographs. Really cool stuff.

And there, in her perfectly manicured hands is the ~~apple~~ PLOT POINT. She believes him, finally. And finally we get doing-stuff-to-save-the-world-music.

No TARDIS, no screwdriver...17 minutes. This is going quite well.

The “good looking guy” can't lend his laptop to the Doctor. Why? Pr0n!

“Blimey. Get a girlfriend, Jeff.” And then, Jeff gets to save the world, but not without a recommendation:

“Delete your internet history.”

Now, I know shit will happen now because Olivia Coleman was in a coma...and she's now walking.

Yep. Told ya.

“The universe is cracked. The pandorica [?] will open. Silence will fall.” FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. Foreshadowing from the first episode... Sometimes, this show makes me want to break things.

“No TARDIS, no screwdriver, 2 minutes to spare...WHO DA MAN?” You're the man now, dog. And by jove, that was awkward.

The thing decides to take Amelia's body and thus transforms into Tiny Amelia, since Amy still thinks of that time with the Doctor. I really like that little girl. She's brilliant in this.

“Silence, Doctor. The silence will fall.” Okay, okay. We get it. Can you stop with the foreshadowing , please?

“I'm saving the world, I need a decent shirt.”

And she refused to turn her back to catch a glimpse of Timelord ass. I like Amy.

The Doctor calls back the aliens to ask them a simple question.

“Is this world protected?”

Fucking awesome montage is awesome. But where the fuck did he get his bow-tie?

And the aliens fucked off. I have to say...this part of the episode was indeed epic.

“Oh you sexy thing.” We're not talking about Amy, despite the red glow. He means the inside of the TARDIS.

Sorry, Amy. The Doctor left you for a sexy TARDIS. Can you blame him? Oh, he came back. WHAT A SURPRISE. NO ONE EXPECTED THAT.

“Bow-ties are cool.” Well, it's certainly better than the technicolor coat you rocked in the 80's.

So he was a bit late. Again. By about...2 years. Amy Legs is pissed.

Oh, Amy, it's not about the size of the ship. It's the motion of the ocean.

That's certainly big. And different. And a bit retro, in a way. I like it.

Liked the blue LED better.

Um...wedding dress? Runaway bride? Again? Well, shite.

I'll be honest: I like Amy, I really do. She's a very interesting character. The new Doctor...I'm not sure. I'll give him a go, but I'm not at all convinced. Most of his excitement seems a tad forced, and very 10-ish. See, I'm not reluctant because he's different. I feel that way because he's not different enough. We'll see.

Otomen - episode 5 recap

2010-10-27T08:01:00.007+01:00

Still at the beach, Asuka trains and Bad Hair Dude comes over.

I disagree. I've seen better looking sunfish. I fucking love those guys. I was once at Oceanário and I had already been there a couple of times, so I have no idea how I missed it, but I was incredibly startled by one. It went more or less like this:

Cherry: *stares at pretty fish* ...this is so soothing. Ooh, there's a stingray! And that one is quite colorf—WHATHTEFUCKISTHAT.
Sunfish: *looms*
Cherry: YOU ARE A BIG GIANT WTF.

[later]

Cherry: I love sunfish!

No idea what that is. Fantastic.

Do you really? Because his hair is even worse in this fantasy.

Translation = he has blue balls. Girly, sparkly blue balls.

Exibit A.

The drama here is that there's another beach hut that's attracting a lot more customers. Also, it's buying all the small huts so Bad Hair Dude's uncle is in danger of losing his.

The finesse of a 5 year old. (If you are confused, this is Asuka's attempt at creating FANCY DRINKS to attract ~~little girls~~ THE LADIES.)

So, the evil beach hut is actually a sort of...host club? That board with the pictures sure looks like one you'd find a host club.

Yep, they are singing songs because that girl just paid a shitload of money for booze. For those of you who are puzzled, that's how host clubs work. The hosts sweet talk the girls into buying bottles of wine – the more expensive the better – and even though the girl only ends up drinking a glass or two of that wine, she feels nice because of all the attention it brings. That, and they pretend like they love them, but never put out. Assholes.

That, by the way, is the leader of the mean girls. I don't think I've really mentioned her before, but as she is annoying AND pointless, I thought I'd spare you.

Yep, host club all the way. Also, Bad Hair Dude totally has host hair.

Also, I really recommend watching “The Great Happiness Space”, if you are interested in this subject. You can watch it here or here. It's a bit depressing/shocking (as for what the girls do to maintain their frequent host club visits and the cold stance of most of the guys), but also a really great insight into that world.

You will not notice this, but I actually spent an hour going through host club stuff – articles and the like – before coming back to the episode. THAT'S HOW INTERESTING THIS SHOW IS.

Sure, let him take the top. *coughs* Anyway, there's a confrontation between the host beach club dudes and our guys, which inevitably produces the “sports competition” bit of this episode.

Of course. First off, it's beach soccer.

And from the look of that sand, I'd say this is a tough one. As I live in a country where beaches are plentiful, it irks me to think about stepping on that black, thick sand. I have very sensible troll feet, okay?

The host club guys win. Next,

Holding your breath underwater. Too bad our guys don't have Guybrush on their team. They'd win this easily.

And in a genius move, they decide to kill Isono by tying him to a rock so he can stay under the longest.

Aquality. Flawless victory. They win, and Isono is probably dead, so it's all good.

This is sure is a happy picture. YAY, THEY KILLED A PERSON BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO WIN. There's even a little montage.

Because your muscles are so evidently there, huh? I don't call you THIN Guy From Bleach for no reason.

This time, they have to run to a flag and catch it. Thin Guy From Bleach succeeds.

Then, they choose Bad Hair Dude to compete in the same event against a guy that is constantly making fun of his girly looks. What an asshole. If you are going to make fun of him, don't just insult him randomly, talk about his hair! Seriously, it never moves. He's on a beach, running around, and the motherfucker is still in place.

The bad guy pushes him, and he falls flat on his face. His hair is still impeccable.

The final run, of course, depends on Asuka. It's close...

But our MANLY MAN wins.

With the win, come the fruits they needed to make MANLY drinks, and all seems to be going fine. Note that I wrote this sentence while pausing the video, i.e., I haven't seen the rest of the episode, but I KNOW this doesn't stop here.

Pop quiz : who made these? If you answered “Thin Guy From Bleach”, you are correct. There's even a girl walking around with a flower on her boob. He sure gets around.

Bad Hair Dude is attacked (we don't quite see it, but it was probably a strong insult or something) and is all bandaged up when...

HE DIDN'T DIE. Why doesn't anyone ever die on this show?

Anyway, the next day, the host club guys are trashing the place and Asuka tells Bad Hair Dude to man up . He does so.

SRS BUSINESS FACE IS SRS. He then gets even more SRS.

I know I'm not supposed to take this seriously, but come on, this is bad. I WILL TAUNT YOU BY PULLING MY HAIR BACK.

~~To my surprise~~, it doesn't work. Plus, suddenly, it's five guys against that hair. So, after letting Bad Hair Dude suffer for ten minutes, Asuka steps in, only to be stopped by the owner of the shabby beach hut (Bad Hair Dude's uncle) who, in a brilliant move, stops Asuka – the guy who single handedly won a kendo tournament for his school – from fighting and decides to settle the argument by challenging the other guys like so: “let's see which beach hut can stay open”.

INSTEAD OF LETTING ASUKA KICK THEM SO HARD, THEIR BALLS FLY UP THEIR NOSES AND FALL INTO THE GUESTS' DRINKS, HE DECIDES TO COMPETE WITH THEM. Let me remind you: these are the guys that were trashing the place, bought all the fruit and use dirty schemes to keep their clientèle interested. Face. Fucking. Palm.

Some time after, they are sitting at the beach...and he chickens out. Again.

In the next episode: tacky aprons, archery and...candles. Lots of 'em.

Otomen - episode 4 recap

2010-10-15T11:57:00.001+01:00

The beach episode! If I was getting paid for my guesses, I'd be rich by now.

Wait, what? So he hangs around the school...but he wasn't a student there?. K. MAKES PERFECT SENSE.

Yes, tell us.

Ah, of course. I've often changed schools just to beat up a rival. That's obviously not something you could do at ANY POINT, in ANY PLACE. No, you have to be at the same school.

*cue youtube slash montage* Something similar to this :

And then he FIGHTS HIS LOVE. Or rival. I can't tell which.

You are a big boy, aren't you?

The top? You can't handle the top! You are a power bottom.

And he wants me to bring some ~~hot guys~~ people for the beach episode, so they can attract ~~more customers~~ the viewers, who are mostly girls and will be squealing at the sight of semi-naked dudes. Also, there's a place that's ~~taking all of his customers~~ creating some conflict for you to resolve and grow as a character even though you could do the same by staying here.

BALLS.

Asuka later finds Thin Guy From Bleach training his ~~emo~~ kendo, alone at night.
Douchebag Guy and his sidekick, Some Girl, know that Thin Guy From Bleach has said that he is “lost without Asuka” so they decide he has a severe case of TEH GAYZ. Finally, this drama is in line with my thoughts.

“I want him inside me.”

I wasn't that far off, now was I? Still, it's less fun when I don't have to take this out of context. He's actually speaking in a manner that makes Douchebag Guy and Sidekick Some Girl believe he also suffers from TEH GAYZ.

Oh, Sidekick Some Girl, don't try to fight it. You are excited. You aren't? Your mouth says no, but your water bottles say yes.

This is fucking torture. I WANT THAT. RIGHT NOW. ALL OF IT.

To attract kids, the owner of the beach hut decides to make the guys do a sort of Power Ranger-type-play-thing.

Somehow, I found this pretty funny. I AM AMUSED BY CIRCLES WITH PEOPLE IN THEM.

And then they had sex.

THE END.

Not really, because there's a long winded speech in with Thin Guy From Bleach explains that his sole reason for carrying on with his life is to pursue his rival, Asuka.

Meanwhile, there's some showcase with famous models at the beach, and because they get stuck in traffic, they look for a substitute, first, they stumble upon the mean girls at school and ask them, but after the guy runs to the beach hut for a glass of water

...he decides THAT PLOT SHOULD HAPPEN, and thus he picks Transfer Student Girl for the job.
He still has no stylists – presumably, also stuck in the land of CONVINIENT FOR THE PLOT – so he tries to coerce two girls who do something other than that – nobody explains what they do, which is unsurprising.

It's like a cake wreck in human form.

And then, obviously, Asuka goes all Project Runway on us. I have to note this: each time he goes into Otomen mode, the porno music plays. It's still a bit jarring.

Otomen mode = sparkly mode. Still, I like that he has very nice hands. Very dainty.

Unfortunately, his taste is still atrocious.

“I'm just FABULOUS.”

Okay, he's doing the hair and makeup.

Isn't that origami, though?

OH GEEZ HE ALSO HAS A SPARKLY MODE.

BAM!

whoosh!

BIFF!

SPARKLIFY.

Do these guys all come from the same school of “girly men”? FUCKING TASTE, HOW DOES IT WORK.

The event starts, and after Transfer Student Girl makes the most anticlimactic entrance ever, the host introduces the “beauty samurai”.

Actually, the one person I know that does makeup professionally tells me this is an absolute no-no.

And no one will ever know who they are, because everyone has lost the ability to turn around. Still, they bond and share their usernames at Specktra.

Even though he's very faintly hiding that he liked sharing his true self with Asuka, his words have the same emphasis as before. “You are my rival. You are my enemy. You are zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....”

Next episode: they are apparently still at the beach and there will be silly competitions that will tie and then on the last sport they choose to do, either the good guys win, or the bad guys win but then realize the good guys are so good, they win anyway. Yep, see you in the next TOTALLY ORIGINAL STORYLINE.

Trivial Pursuit cards - the misspelled and the puzzling

2010-10-12T11:07:00.003+01:00

A few weeks ago, I was at a friend's house when we all decided to play some Trivial Pursuit. Bare in mind this: as a kid, and up to that particular point, I always found the game a decent enough challenge. Sure, you'd get the odd tv-related question that everyone could answer, but it was far more likely that you'd be discussing weird shit like "who was the last king of the House of Wessex" or something of that sort. At least in my edition, the family one - and they called it that because you had yellow cards for the kids and blue cards for the adults, so as to level the challenge for everyone.

See, I always got very embarrassed when I missed a question, because I knew that I had to succeed to be considered as cultured as my mum is. Except that when we play against her, we have to make her play with 4 wheels...and she still wins.

Regardless, I was taken aback by how FUCKING EASY the questions were on a much more recent version of the game. Questions like "who is the tiger in the comic Calvin and Hobbes" wouldn't even appear on the kids questions of the family version of Trivial Pursuit. Of course, the kind of questions that do appear in that version are far weirder than you could ever imagine.

I always tell this story about a particular Trivial Pursuit card I have that was completely misprinted to the point that it still makes sense, but in a very odd and WRONG way. Firstly, I'd like to show you the simpler mistakes. [Note that I'll always be discussing the "pink" questions.]

The misspellings

Let's consider the question. "Which blonde was the recruit that did crazy things?" Answer: Goldie Hawn, for the question is referencing the portuguese title of Private Benjamin, "Loucuras de uma recruta". Let's look at the back of the card.

Oh, my bad. The real answer was Godie Hawn.

Still on the Godie Hawn trail, we have Jane Fonde, another very obscure actress that was apparently the daughter of Henry Fonda. Funny how the world works.

We also have some small typos.

If you are really curious - and if you are, how old are you? - here's the back of this particular card.

And some fairly larger typos.

The answer to that question is Roger Rabibt.

Red and Scarlett. I know this is prior of to the creation of Google, but didn't they have books and shit were they could look this stuff up? And before you even begin to argue that the answer is "X-Men" or something equally bizarre, here's the back of the card.

Now, I believe you all must be very unimpressed. "Oh, these are simple mistakes, anyone could make them! You do not impress me with your mocking, madam." Okay, I get that. Perhaps I shall show you some odd examples of phrasing.

For instance, note this card:

[Back of this card]

I won't lie and say "I HAVE NEVER MADE FUN OF MICHAEL JACKSON!" but this just sounds so wrong. It's the same sort of sensibility that would make them ask "which actor can very easily pop a wheelie without using a bike?" and have the answer be Christopher Reeve.

[Back of this card]

I know that Martin Sheen is spelled wrong, but that's not the point. Telefonia, really? Yes, this was made in the 90's but back then I called it a radio just like any other normal human.

Oh. Kay. Uh...that is a seriously bad joke. Mona lisa? I...there's just no words to describe how painful this one is.

And now, I truly want you to play.

Riddle me this. What's your guess? I'd say Sean Penn. What? How else would you answer who is the "biggest dick" in cinema? And I'm not basing my guess on inches. Oh, no, I get it. It's Dick Tracy! I bet you it's Dick Tracy, because the previous one had an equally bad joke on it. Shall we look at the back of the card?

ಠ_ಠ

...All things considered, whales do have massive dicks.

Otomen - episode 3 recap

2010-10-09T18:47:00.003+01:00

Hey, folks, welcome back to “gender roles, how do they work”, aka Otomen.

I have a feeling I'll be skipping most of this episode. We'll see.

You know what's really fascinating? How do you keep that hairstyle in the middle of a rainstorm?

Though you can't quite see it, this picture contains two things: firstly, a character that is barely explained to us and then...the worst fake mustache in the history of the world. Oh, also, it has the “plot”.

Would also be nice if you had a story. Ever heard about cabs? Or going home despite the rain? It's not like there's thunder or something of the sort.

...okay, two seconds later, and we hear one. I give up.

I know that the number 4 and the word "death" are pronounced similarly in japanese, but this is still the shittiest scare ever. Really, you're scared of a ghost who obviously has no idea how to work a phone? At least the dude/guys/whatever from Scream could chat with you before he murdered you in some horrible fashion.

Okay, this is a tiny bit scary, I'll give in. What is it the japanese and creepy children?

And of course, the traditional Ringu reference. 37,5$ says that these creepy apparitions are either a school organized “event” or they are just children – of...someone – protecting themselves from the storm...and walking creepily on corridors.

I just know there's going to be a “OH, HOW GOOFY OF US” explanation.

The next day, Isono – the guy looking for umbrellas – has aged a lot because of the shock. As in Otomen world, you can believe just about everything, they completely buy this.

This kinda reminds me of Bible Black. NOT THAT I'VE SEEN IT OR ANYTHING. I'VE READ ABOUT IT. FROM AFAR.

It really is ridiculous.

“This episode is boring as fuck!”

Obviously, in all of this, Asuka tries to hide the fact that he's terrified. BECAUSE, LIKE A GIRL, HE GETS SCARED EASILY. OH, GIRLS, WITH THEIR FEELINGS.

And we have conflict again, as Thin Guy From Bleach joins the kendo club, just to remind us he's still a sort of villain.

Either that, or Transfer Student Girl's father found him on the streets DESTROYING PLANTS and thought to himself “oh my, this child needs to be saved!”. Seriously, that's the backstory.

I wouldn't think otherwise, Thin Guy From Bleach. You are so emotive. I wish you guys could see how sedated he sounds when he's trying to seem angry.

I'm not sure about that. Let's ask for a second opinion. What do you think about this, Cranberries?

I see. Also, I love that this show also has that moment where the main guy is very troubled and half-naked. I'm always troubled when I'm half-naked, I totally understand him.

I'm sorry too. I wish I was more invested in the story, but there isn't one. Honestly, guys, what's happened here is that for some reason, the kendo team is sleeping at school and random scaryyyyyyyyyy things keep happening.

Here, Asuka recalls that Douchebag Guy told him to grow some balls and ask Transfer Student Girl out. He does so, then chickens out so that she understands that he only wants to help her cook – FOR THE MILLIONTH BILLIONTH TIME – and not, you know, get freaky with her. And even if he did, he couldn't, because he's TOTALLY A GIRL OMGZ.

He's talking about the guy on the right. Funnily enough, this is actually one of the more plausible things in the series.

Compare that to front flipping into someone's arms after slipping on a banana peel.

This is apparently his great-grandfather's gravestone. Why it's on a SCHOOL GARDEN, nobody questions, but apparently the ghost lady tormenting everyone thinks Asuka is Asuka, the First.

When I said he was a douchebag, I wasn't kidding. Douchebag guy is the “ghost girl”.

Oh, but there's an actual ghost who possesses Transfer Student Girl. Have I mentioned I hate haunted house episodes?

And you are left writing scripts for japanese dramas. Ghost girl tells Asuka to confess to Transfer Student Girl, but if this drama has taught me anything, is that said event will unfold like every other anime, thus only being provoked by some dramatic event in the last few episodes.

When you see it, you will shit bricks. I'm not kidding, look at that screenshot carefully.

And next episode looks like the one where they go to the beach/somewhere on holiday and shit happens. HOPEFULLY SOME STORY.

On births.

2010-09-18T18:29:00.000+01:00

I am now 24 and I've just recalled that I still have a blog, so I might as well write something.

I was just talking with mum, as I sometimes do, about how it was to have kids and the actual birth itself. With absolute easy and with some amusement, she told me the following (note that I was her second child):

1 - She went to the beach on the 10th. I was born September 11th, 1986, around 10am. As she recalls, she "dragged her large belly" to beach because it had been such a nice summer, and she had done "this whole kid business" before, so why not enjoy it? Gotta love her.

2 - When her contractions started, instead of rushing to the hospital like she did with my brother, she proceeded to clean every corner of the house, because bending down/being on all fours helps...and the house sure got nice and tidy.

3 - The reason why she stayed in as long as possible was to "avoid all the other pregnant women" because "it's completely mental in there". So, instead of being stuck for days on end in a cold, possibly quite uncomfortable hospital, she waited comfortably (or as comfortably as you can while having extreme pain and cleaning your house) and around 1am, off she went. Her warning: "Se eu gritar, deixem-me gritar. Quando eu sentir que preciso de ir para o hospital, aviso."

4 - I was born in the morning, with almost no effort. She stayed 3 extra days in the hospital, because I was born on a friday (less people working on weekends, means she only got cleared the following monday). She was "surprised, but delighted" to find I was quite tall.

5 - She never had any morning sickness - or any queasiness at all, for that matter - during the pregnancy. The only thing that was hard to deal with was the kicking. Why? In the later stages, kids "turn" inside the belly, which meant the feet are nearer to the chest. Because I was quite big, each time I kicked her, she almost couldn't breathe. Yikes.

6 - I wasn't planned. But she wasn't surprised when the doctor said she was pregnant. She was surprised "and very relieved!" that it was just one kid. My grandfather had a twin, so it could happen to her. She now believes that because she "escaped" having twins, that it might happen to either me or my brother. Huzzah. I think. Hm.

7 - My name was decided as soon as she heard the words "it's a girl" at 20-something weeks. She had to fight to have her way, though, because my dad opposed greatly to it, so the compromise was each got to give me a first name. Which, if you consult my identity card, resulted in a ridiculous clusterfuck.

So, what about you all? What did your mothers tell you about their pregnancies?

Literary Cleanup, book #11

2010-07-21T07:07:00.000+01:00

Los Mares del Sur - Manuel Vázquez Montalbán (available at your local library)

It's always harder for me when I don't know the author, and even harder when, after reading the book, I am puzzled as to whether I liked it or not. Mares do Sul is a perfect example of that. Nothing wrong with the book...well, if I said there was nothing, I'd probably be lying. This is one of those which I can't say I disliked, but I do have a lot of issues with it.

Mares do Sul is - according to the man's Wikipedia - one of the first books in the Pepe Carvalho saga, if you can call it that. Most of Montalban's work was devoted to exploring the stories (and work, obviously) of this 50 year old guy. Now, he's not just any dude, he's probably the first protagonist of a crime novel that fails completely at gathering my sympathy.

He's sold to us as very charming, with his vast culture, love of fine cuisine and blunt manner of speaking. In my mind, however, he's simply grumpy, obsessed with everyone's political standing and devoid of any kind of moral. He treats the women he meets like utter shite. He supposedly has one girlfriend, but he does not hesitate to fuck the teenage daughter of one of his most important clients, regardless of her many issues. She's a heavy user of all kinds of drugs and due to the death of her father (which Pepe is investigating), starts showing her real insecurities and becomes enthralled with this old man who never lets his guard down.

He fucks her, makes fun of her cocaine use - when she waits at his house for him, she prepares dinner...the first words he says are something similar to "nice meal, but where's the coke?". Perhaps this is supposed to be funny. To me, he just sounds like a guy that has no problems in using people to get what he needs. Be that money, food (since his "helper" always cooks for him) or a quick lay.

Still on women: he thinks he's such a fucking irresistible piece of ass, even when he's being shut down in a grand manner (see the excerpt for a clear illustration of this) or even when he's losing his erection. Don't believe me?

"Carvalho saltou da cama, procurou na mesita-de-cabeceira a caixa de Condal número 6, acendeu o charuto, sentou-se na beira da cama e contemplou como de uma varanda o espectáculo do seu pénis em retirada lenta."

He stood in awe of his flaccid penis. He lit a cigar to celebrate the fantastic awesomeness of his limp dick. This bloke is so into himself that I do wonder why he bothers fucking other people. Perhaps he needs someone to hold the mirror. Or camera. Or to sell tickets to his flappy show.

Another "cool" thing he does? He burns books instead of wood in his fireplace. Now that's just stupid. I have no words to describe how pathetic an attempt at being suave (or something) that is. Plus, in most scenes, instead of dialogue or ANY action whatsoever, we're treated to endless streams of his memories which are never relevant to the story. They are the kind of thing that you hear from people when they have no other arguments; the "in my time, things went smoothly" line of thought. For him, and his immaculate past, all other human beings are wrong, silly and have no real purpose in life. He doesn't trust anyone, and yet people keep falling at his feet, presumably because they see him as enlightening.

Even when the story finally ends, we see a powerful, rich woman be insulted by him...and then, because he's CHARMING OR SOME SHIT she decides to ask him to come and be his boy toy. Despite the fact that he's probably older. And, according the descriptions, not very attractive.

The story itself is somewhat interesting, and would probably be more had the author not focused so much on the inner dwellings of Pepe Caravalho and actually tried to build other charaters that didn't worship him instantly. Plus, he did have a clever way of presenting the story to us, and it didn't seem like the clues fell on Pepe's feet. The pacing could have been much better if so much of the book wasn't 70% "oh, woe is me, I'm so awesome and everyone else is stupid and ugly". Seriously, do we need a monologue in the middle of each scene? I think not.

I guess this is a decent read, but the main guy is such an asshole, I'd have problems recommending this to anyone else. Maybe it's just me, being a girl, with my girly feelings. Or maybe he's a fucking asshole. Yeah, probably that.

Excerpt:

Carvalho tinha vontade de lhe dizer: tinha o poncho, meu amor, e vamos para uma cama negra, branca, redonda, quadrada, tanto faz, porque quando a burguesia não pode conservar o controlo da cama, começa adjectivá-la.

- Vais continuar aqui, ou vens beber seis garrafas de vinho branco absolutamente sensacional?
- És rápido, forasteiro. Que insinuas?
- Que vamos para a cama.
- Não há dúvida. Conheces Juanito Marsé. É a sua técnica. Diz que lhe deram muitas bofetadas, mas que também teve muita sorte.
- E eu? A bofetada?
- Não. Mas também não a sorte. Estou à espera da minha miúda. Tenho-a aparcada lá dentro. O nosso é um amor impossível.
- Tinha acabado de nascer.
- São os melhores.

Carvalho despediu-se com uma pequena vénia. Na rua concentrou-se no tema dos amores que acabam de nascer.

Swan dive!

2010-07-14T18:46:00.002+01:00

So, we're all familiar with this:

...right? If you aren't, this is one of the best ads Old Spice has ever done. And that's saying a lot. I mean, they had Bruce Campbell working for them at one point.

They've produced a couple more ads, like this one (if you watch it, you'll understand the title of this post) and this one (which is apparently nominated for an Emmy). In any case, that isn't what made me write this up.

Oh no. The interesting thing about this whole Old Spice Man craze is that the company itself is putting an insanely large amount of videos out on their channel. Why? To reply to questions made via twitter. He even replied to 4chan. Nope, I'm not kidding:

Pure brilliance. Even funnier is this one, in which a user requests for help in proposing to his girlfriend:

I always crack up when they bring the candles in.

You can check out their channel for more video replies. I'm so glad they are letting Old Spice Man share his wisdom. After all, he's on a horse.

Otomen - episode 2 recap

2010-07-13T10:19:00.008+01:00

Oh, hi there. Did you click on this link thinking this was a post about something other than a silly japanese drama? Well, you were wrong.

The episode starts abruptly, in the middle of a classroom, where we see another glimpse of Asuka's childhood: the day when he had to write about what his father did for a living. After his mother arrives, he volunteers to read his essay, which starts out with him stating he doesn't have a father but that his mother is awesome. And then he informs the class that his father is away because he wants to be a woman, so

He also adds that he's looking forward to growing up so he can find out what a "new half" is. Or, you know, he could look it up on Urban Dictionary. Which in turn, prompts this

and this

...and it looks like it was filmed on the same day as that VERY SIMILAR SCENE from the first episode, since most people in it have the same lines. I know this was done for comedic effect, but it isn't very funny.

Okay, so it IS meant to look like Bleach? Actually, come to think of it...is this show inspired by Bleach? Like the guy/girl who wrote this thought that it would be a good idea to have a show about Samural Fluffykins.

What happened before this? I give you 3 choices:

a) she fainted but woke up as he was taking her to the school nurse
b) she slipped on a banana peel, did a front flip and landed on his arms
c) she injured her leg so he's helping her up

If you answered b) SHE SLIPPED ON A BANANA PEEL THEN DID A FRONT FLIP ONLY TO LAND ON HIS ARMS ...you are correct. This probably is the reason that nowadays, I enjoy dramas a lot more than anime. Because the same contrived anime devices happening in real life = lulz.

And then they decide to go to Transfer Student Girl's house, only to find her dad and a bunch of his pupils ready to turn them into human pretzels. She stops them, of course, but I'm too distracted by the title of this episode.

Can you hear that, ladies and gents? IT'S A FUTURE CONFLICT. WHATEVER WILL WE DO.

Asuka goes with Transfer Student Girl to a children-daycare-type-thing so he can help her take care of the kids. He then learns that their “playtime” consists of wrestling, kendo, karate, and

I keep reading that as “combat samba” which sounds a lot more interesting. IT'S A SEXY FIGHT TO THE DEATH. SHAKE THAT ARM OFF HIM. It would still be less violent than Surra de Bunda.

She explains afterward that she only teaches the kids the same kind of “games” she used to play when she was little.

Like so.

I like the little disclaimers. Don't try what? Fighting with a guy in a bear suit doing the worst impersonation of “aggressive bear behavior” I've seen?

There's a kid left behind. He has no mother and while I assume someone will still pick him up, this is all very dramatic. Also, he's hungry. Who you gonna call? Asuka-chan!

Yes, I used that -chan wisely. I've seen manlier meals on lolita forums.

Still, the kid's father arrives, and they both eat the delicious pancakes (though looking at it, that looks like 90% other stuff and 10% pancakes) and reminisce about the mother's cooking and how great it was. AND HOW IMPOSSIBLE IT IS FOR ANYONE TO LEARN HOW TO COOK.

The kid then says “you two are like a mama and the papa”.

...he made a bear-shaped pancake. Did you expect anything else?

Transfer Student Girl can't cook because her mother also died, and she wants to make something delicious for her dad's birthday.

Their english teacher looks Barack Obama. It isn't very clear in the screenshot, but he dresses and kind of sounds like him. An asian, silly version of him.

This is more frightening than Blink.

And then, more PLOT happens, as we find out that – for some reason not at all related to sheer convenience – Transfer Student Girl's dad (you know, the one who is above all A MANLY MAN OF MAN) is training the kendo guys. Of course, he starts his MANLY TESTOSTERONE FILLED training but making the students strip down to their undergarments.

MANLY.

And then, after school ends...

QUIET, ASUKA. I'M DOING THIS FOR SCIENCE. ...or you know, judging from the FOOD and KITCHEN utensils, she may be trying to COOK for her father.

Asuka arrives home to find a table full of sin...GIRLY, HORRIBLE SIN. It has a cake, some stuffed animals and

...which is something that, after 30 seconds of googling, I found to be a made-up one. Shame.

If it's not obvious to you,

...it was a mum trap. And then, this exchange happens:

YES, YOUR FOOD PREFERENCES DICTATE YOUR SEX. THIS DRAMA IS A BREAKTHROUGH TOWARDS BETTER UNDERSTANDING THE HUMAN MIND.

Seriously, now. I can understand how the stuffed animals and the cute dishes make him “girly”, but liking sweet stuff and being able to cook...well, Hitler didn't know how to paint, and look how he turned out. Just sayin'.

Ooh, he's been found out! (How surprising! It's not like Douchebag Guy had already confirmed this information 15 minutes into the first episode.)

And then he decides to fight Transfer Student Girl's dad. If he gets a point, then the dad has to promise him something. 20$ this ends being something like “you must let your daughter cook for you”.

And of course he wins.

BECAUSE YOU'RE A WOMAN. Or something. I have no idea.

They go grocery shopping afterward so they can make a chicken stew similar to what her mum made when she was alive and able to read directions from a cooking book.

Even though I could be all like “I LIKE THE BIGGER ONES, MYSELF”, this is actually useful information.

Also useful. Just wish I knew what “taros” are.

Her father gets home, all “OMGZ WHY ARE YOU SO NICE TO ME, I WANT YOU TO EAT CRAPPY TAKE OUT, YOU BITCH” and then...well, you owe 20$.

He eventually stops bitching and climaxes from the taste of the stew. We learn the reason why he whines so much about his daughter's cooking: it reminds him of his dead wife.

I am craving asian food really bad. I really wish I had some rice, and chicken and...

*spits out water* OKAY. “He'll be a good wife!” And suddenly, there's no conflict. Huh.

Next time, it's the haunted house episode. Really, Otomen? Do we really need a filler episode? And a haunted house one at that? God. I miss Hi, My Sweetheart.

Otomen - episode 1 recap

2010-07-07T11:03:00.000+01:00

Oh folks, it's that time again. I haven't been feeling like myself, so the choice is obvious: I have to watch a show about asian people doing silly things that I couldn't possibly relate to. As per usual, I take screenshots out of context and try to make the most of the lack of plot by writing up my own - sordid - conclusions as captions.

This time, it's Otomen. What is an Otomen? Well, not even 30 seconds in, and you are given a very long explanation

For those of you who can't read that font (and I don't blame you for it), it reads: "An Otomen is a japanese boy who excels in both military and literary art while hiding his girly hobbies such as cooking and sewing, his girly way of thinking and his skills to act as a real man!"

REALISM. THIS SHOW HAS IT.

The opening scene is a sepia-toned one featuring a guy in a very stylish suit singing something about Otomen falling in love and then we see a little boy...

oh, I see. It's a boy being all girly, hence the frilly apron. BECAUSE BOYS BEING GIRLY IS SUCH A WEIRD CONCEPT, RIGHT. THIS MUST BE A DREAM SEQUENCE. OR AN ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE.

So then, we skip to a scene which is probably a few years later, though everyone looks the same.

Ah, no more sepia filter. This must be real life. Anyway, the kid – Asuka [and now I'm hungry for sushi] – stole a branch off a cherry tree his father cherished. Instead of being angry, is father says that his honesty is worth “1000 cherry tree branches”, and then his mother, all excited, confesses she's bought a bag at a sale. Of course, the father has also a small truth to share, which is

...oh. Okay. Uh. * coughs * Is it just me or did he pick the most awkward time to reveal this? Let's observe the sequence of events:

I STOLE A CHERRY BRANCH!
I BOUGHT A BAG AT A SALE!
I WANT TO BE A GIRL!

Not exactly what I'd guess. And now the father is all “YOU HAVE TAUGHT ME TO BE HONEST, SON. THAT BRANCH REMINDED ME OF HOW I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A GIRL AND NOW I FINALLY CAN.”

My goodness, I picked a great one.

Mother agrees.

And this, my friends...happens in exactly 3 minutes and 5 seconds. And now she's in the hospital? WHAAA. She asks Asuka to always be a “real man” and not be like his father. Okay, I see where this is going.

LOL WUT.

Okay, so she died after 10 seconds on seeming completely normal, if a bit tired and then the doctor...I can't even explain it. Either watch the clip above or figure it out from the next few shots

TOO BAD SHE STILL DIED.

So he puts away all of his stuffed animals, including one called Patrasche (or something), and is now a MANLY MAN FROM JAPAN.

Be more convincingly bored, unknown guy that looks like a douchebag and probably is the sort of “villain” of this thing.

Everybody loves Asuka, and even though his team is losing miserably he opens a can of kendo-ass-whooping and wins it for the...school. Which I also don't know the name of.

And here we have the usual team of swooning girls who will make life difficult for our heroine. What? Don't like at me like that, you know it's going to happen. If Ouran Host Club has taught me anything, is that these girls are EVERYWHERE.

School name: Giyunri high school. Heh, yuri.

Captain Douchebag comments that Asuka is just like a shoujo hero. Well, I might as well turn this off if you are making it so obvious.

SHE DIDN'T DIE. Dr. Lulzforceps did a good job after all.

I feel like we've seen something like *cough* Hanayoridango *cough* this before. But okay, I'll bite. She doesn't look that tough, and our hero is smitten by her...balls. Yes, she has huge balls, and that's about it. At least Tsukushi kicked some ass. Still, she tries to stop the bullies from taking the wallet of a guy that looks INCREDIBLY girlish.

Oh look, it's that thin, geeky guy from Bleach. He has some sort of...thing going on towards Asuka. Huh. Maybe he's the villain, then. Btw, nobody explains why he was there or who he is.

Later, she thanks him, and in an adorable scene, she lends him her red umbrella. I kinda like how subdued she is. I like feisty girls, but often they go way overboard with them on asian dramas.

Almost 12 minutes in, I finally see the opening credits. They are quite fun and non-obnoxious, actually.

And this person is, apparently, a teacher. And even though she looks 30 at most, she's apparently a grandmother. Her family sure is into putting out.

Oh of course she is a transfer student. THIS PLOT DEVICE HAS NEVER BEEN USED BEFORE.

Captain Douchebag is the class womanizer, I see. And he talks her into – though she doesn't need any “talking into”, as she believes his lie right away – giving out her email address and phone number.

...and she spells it out loud. I like her her innocence.

Scratch “girly kid”, enter WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR HAIR AND HOW CAN WE FIX IT.

He reminds me of something...

Yes! This is exactly it! Now, if only I could illustrate it better...

There ya go.

Oh geez. This gon' get good. HE DID NOT JUST SAY “SPARKLING EYES”. Even fluffy-face Asuka is weirded out by him, but accepts his request and lets him watch the kendo practice.

I like this drama a lot more now. Hopefully, Thin Guy From Bleach will force him to play the rusty trombone.

And as I mention bleach, Captain Douchebag draws Asuka and in the process, makes him look like the main guy from Bleach. Either that, or all samurai dudes look the same. Possibly both.

19 minutes in, and ALREADY A FLASHBACK? Art thou srs?

The moment his mum leaves for a business trip, Asuka gets down and dirty with his sewing kit. OH YEAH. KNIT PORN.

Oh, so all he's doing is fixing a stuffed bear dog that he found on the street...while listening to porn music? Really, I don't know what the sound guys were drinking, but the music that accompanies this scene is very porno. Something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fYfdlKIon4

The finished product. Note that all the adornments are handmade by Asuka, king of MAN. He calls the dog “soft and sparkling”. Manly sparkles, though.
Douchebag Guy is spying on him, so he now knows Asuka's secret. The next day, he's helping Transfer Student Girl with her cake. It's assignment, not an innuendo. Her previous attempt:

Love that when this scene is playing the “lalalalala-laa” sound from Nausicaa is in the background. Then Douchebag Guy leaves the room just in time for Asuka to save the day with his manly cooking.

They work on the cake while the porn music is on. Douchebag Guy spies on this, as all this was just a clever ploy to confirm the notion that A GUY CAN COOK. OMG. STOP THE PRESSES.

Is now a good time to mention that I'm a horrible cook, but a decent baker?

The porn music agrees.

No, it looks tacky as fuck.

The bullies almost beat up a guy that's in charge of the school's flower garden, and then someone saves him. I bet it's Asuka.

It's Thin Guy From Bleach after all. So you hate him because you are girly too? You are making this too easy for me, Otomen.

There's a confrontation between some of Asuka's pupils and the bad guys. Thin Guy From Bleach breaks shit because no one understands the beautiful flower he has inside. Or something.

Asuka may be out of the tournament if he fights back, but nothing will happen to those bullies after trashing school property? Even though they have at least 3 witnesses?

They Kendo it out, which actually turns out fine because there's no cheesy music, and the fight sounds very real. Plus, Kendo is cool as fuck.

Ah, I was beginning to feel like this was not a repeat of Hana Yori Dango. Transfer Student Girl kicks ass after all, it seems.

But I don't mind, because it's a good,

spinning kick

smackdown.

And then she tells Asuka he's cute and that she wants to protect him.

I should note the outro is also nice, but not safe from the typical japenglish: “I WIU RUB IU FOWEBA”. [I will love you forever]

Tune in next time, when nothing spectacular happens.

Literary Cleanup, book #10

2010-07-05T11:01:00.001+01:00

Cartas a Sandra - Vergílio Ferreira (available at your local library)

To be very honest, I don't remember much about Aparição. It's been a while since I read it, so my memory is quite hazy. I do remember, however, feeling like I didn't get it, but I wanted to. That's why I picked up Manhã Submersa from my mum's shelf. I liked that one a lot, even though it was about something I can't possible relate to. Sometime after that, I recall my friend David telling me he loved "Cartas a Sandra" and that it was very sad, but wonderful. Later, someone let me borrow their copy of it and I had it sit on my shelf, unread, for almost 3 years. A few days ago I finally finished the book.
I'll be honest with you: I did try, I did force myself to read when it seemed like I just couldn't do it. I even started my next book just to refresh my will to finish Cartas a Sandra. I still cannot say I have fully read the book, as I skipped over some parts, because I just wanted it to end. Unlike Manhã Submersa, or even Aparição, the aim of this one escapes me and though I wanted to understand Paulo and Sandra's story, I think that perhaps I have should read Para Sempre first, as it probably helps to understand their relationship. That being said, I don't think I will. I have seen love letters like these often so for me, it was hard to immerse myself in their world. I don't think they sound fake, but I do find it hard to believe the feeling itself. I know this sounds confusing, but bare with me.
I get that Paulo loves her. It's a given. However...why does he? What motivates this love? What made it so strong? Feelings don't always need to be justified, but in a book as short as this perhaps we would have been better served with something more substantial to explain their chemistry. Maybe I need to read it again to find out, because I suspect the answer is in the book, but as I didn't find it, I am solely left with a feeling of puzzlement and distance towards the characters.

Will not say I don't recommend it, because I suspect it's just not my cup of tea, rather than a really horrible literary piece.

Excerpt:

Como poderia eu ter imaginação para te reconstituir na sólida delicadeza da tua fragilidade? Sandra. O amor e a morte inserem-se um no outro, deves saber. Mas eu sobrevivi e isso é uma condenação. Penso-te e o teu esplendor renasce-me no meu pensar e a minha idade retrai-se quando me apareces. E a eternidade em que se vive, mesmo se a velhice é real, restabelece-me igual a ti que nunca envelheceste. E não me perguntes porque te escrevo, se tudo é vão, Mas há o meu desejo de te fixar na palavra escrita que te diz, para ficares aí com o milagre que puder. É Primavera e tudo é nítido no seu ser real. Os campos cobrem-se de relva, as flores despertam da sua hibernação, passa na aragem o perfume da vida, de tudo o que é vivo no mundo. A luz nítida demora-se no cimo dos montes e eu olho-a na sua agonia para um pouco existir no que te digo. Ou no teu nome de que não gostavam muito e agora renasce em sonoridade branda quando o penso ou o escrevo ou o digo em voz alta.

That's Gay.

2010-07-01T10:12:00.001+01:00

I found my new favorite thing on Youtube - well, aside from Shaytards and Overthegun:

That's Gay is part of Infomania, a satirical news series provided by Current. Anyway, all of that is less important if you consider the fact that Bryan Safi - the host - can actually make some of the most offensive bullshit I've ever heard into something so ridiculous you question why it exists in the first place. Case in point:

The first time I heard that "no homo" was an actual...saying, I was quite outraged. In fact, if I ever hear someone say this in real life, I might permanently affect their ability to produce offspring. Still, when you see the clip and realize how incredibly stupid it is to announce that you aren't a homosexual in the most random situations, one has to laugh at the insecurity that originated that. It's like talking about vegetables and then saying "NO VEGAN". It reminds me of something Eddie Izzard said in Unrepeatable:

So there’s a lot of gay and lesbian people around, and that’s groovy, and they have – what they’ve done is they separated sex and sexuality from what you do for a living. So you work in a bookshop? Okay, you’re good at selling books, you get on well with the customers? That’s what’s important, not who you sleep with or not. ‘Cause in the old days, they used to say, “Oh, you’re gay… You sell books? You probably shag the books! Yes, I’m sure! So we fire you for no reason at all…”

Okay, I just have to link one more:

Yep, completely logical arguments.

Literary Cleanup, book #9

2010-06-28T11:16:00.000+01:00

Daisy Miller - Henry James (free to read @ Project Gutenberg)

Another one bites the dust. Daisy Miller tells the story of the various encounters between Winterbourne, a classy american young man studying in Europe and the eponymous american girl who is...non-conventional to say the least. It's not the easiest of reads because the descriptions sometimes seem long-winded and almost pointless - how many times do you have to tell me that Daisy is the prettiest pretty that ever prettied? Also, I fail to see the charm in her, when, throughout the book, she just seems like an immature, volatile and hedonistic young lady. Sure, she's pretty, but every time someone characterized her as "innocent", I couldn't help by chuckle, because it seemed clear to me that her every word was calculated to provoke longing in the gentleman that surrounded her. Essentially, what I'm saying is...Daisy Miller is a cock-tease.
Note this, however: even though I didn't like her, and even though I think the only reason Winterbourne kept going to her despite being shut down every time was because he thought he could tame her and transform her into the perfect girl he imagined...I liked this. I liked the story, and I liked that the characters actually brought out a reaction in me, which speaks of James' style of writing, I think. Plus, much like Winterbourne, I was indeed intrigued by her real motives and how it would unfold in the end. If you like period pieces, then this is a good one to consider.

Excerpt:

Por um instante fez uma nova pausa; olhava para Winterbourne com toda a beleza dos seus olhos francos e alegres, o seu claro, se bem que um tanto uniforme, sorriso.

- Sempre tive muita vida social com cavalheiros - afirmou.

O pobre Winterbourne estava divertido e perplexo - acima de tudo estava encantado. Nunca ouvira uma única rapariga exprimir-se daquela maneira; ou, pelo menos, nunca senão nos casos em que dizer tais coisas correspondia a ter, ao mesmo tempo, uma assaz complicada consciência delas. E no entanto deveria ele acusar Miss Daisy Miller de um real ou potencial arrière-pensée, como se dizia em Genebra? Sentinu que tinha vivido durante tanto tempo em Genebra que acabara por ficar moralmente confuso; tinha perdido o sentido correcto do jovem tom americano.

What, what?

2010-06-25T09:43:00.000+01:00

In the butt, obviously.

As if I needed more reasons to like the Queens of the Stone Age/Josh Homme, here's the acoustic version of that lovely classic, What What (In the Butt):

What what (in the butt) is not only a question but it needs an answer, and the answer is let's do it the butt, okay.

Wise words, Mr. Homme.

Literary Cleanup, book #8

2010-06-23T10:14:00.001+01:00

The Call of the Wild - Jack London (free to read/hear @ Project Gutenberg)

I knew nothing about Jack London prior to reading this book. I'm not sure if I now know anything about who he is now, because The Call of the Wild isn't your average short story. First off, you are reading from the perspective of a dog (Buck) and the time seems to flow much faster even though from the time you are introduced to Buck up to the end of the book, only 6 years have passed. Well, I'm not completely sure it's 6 years, but it's probably not much more than that. And again, it's a weird one because I'm not sure how to feel about it. For one, I kept flinching at every mention of animal cruelty - and there is a lot of it. Not gratuitous, I think - it's reasonable to assume that such things happened...and sadly, some of them still continue to happen today. Still, apart from that, there really wasn't time to connect with the characters and even if I consider that maybe this was intentional, to show how different animals are in different situations, I cannot say I really enjoyed this one. Not that it's bad, mind you, but to me, it's so forgettable I honestly cannot say I'm interesting in reading any other of Jack London's books. As usual, I may give him the benefit of doubt.

Excerpt:

Buck não lia os jornais, pelo que não sabia que iriam surgir problemas, não só para si próprio como para todos os cães de grande porte, com músculos poderosos e pêlo longo e quente, de Puget Sound a San Diego. E isso porque os homens, tacteando na escuridão árctica, tinham encontrado um metal amarelo e, tendo em vista o enorme valor atribuído à descoberta pelas companhias de navegação e transportes, precipitavam-se aos milhares para as terras do Norte. Esses homem queriam cães, cães possantes, com músculos fortes para a labuta e pêlo espesso que os protegesse do gelo.

Literary Cleanup, book #7

2010-06-21T16:00:00.003+01:00

A Queda D'um Anjo - Camilo Castelo Branco (free to read @ Project Gutenberg)

Been wanting to finish this one for quite some time. I had tried to read it before, but I always got stuck in the first few chapters. Now I know it really isn't my fault because the book starts with a whole lot of establishing who the main character is, how he behaves, looks and feels about the world, and in particular, politics. A Queda D'um Anjo is the story of Calisto Elói, a simple man from the Minho region who comes to Lisbon because he's persuaded by his closest friends that he should be in the parliament, setting the example. I won't reveal too much, but I'll say this: the title explains it all. It's a very cutting novel, digging into the worst of our political class - and it is, unfortunately, not dated in the slightest. I read that this book is quite different from what we would expect of Castelo Branco, since he's mainly known for his novels. As the only other one I've read is Amor de Perdição, I can't judge, but I will recommend this, as it is a very easy and gripping read. Also, it has many funny moments, especially when Calisto is just settling in his Lisbon quarters. In one of them, for example, he was feeling a bit under the weather, so he decided to follow the advice of one of his "classics" and drink the reinvigorating water from a fountain in Lisbon. It just so happens that after drinking that water, he felt even worse, which made him look at the book again and see that the cure for an upset stomach (which was caused by the same, possibly polluted water he drank) was drinking some more of that water. That chapter ends with the narrator informing us that from then on, he only drank wine.
Also, note that the cover I used above is not the same as on my edition of the book, but I don't have a scanner here, so that will have to do. Besides, it's much more interesting than my plain blue cover.
The following excerpt is dedicated to my good friend, @jjnopants.

Excerpt:

Fez Calisto uma longa pausa, e prosseguiu, interpolando os dizeres com algumas pitadas, que solenizavam a gravidade das falas.

- Ninguém devera casar sem muito ler e sem aplaudir aqueles preceito do casamento escritos pelo eminentíssimo Plutarco.
- Não conheço - disse a dama... - Li Le mariage, de Balzac.
- Não sei quem é; deve ser francês.
- Pois não leu?
- Eu não leio francês. Não me chega o meu tempo para tirar águas sujas de poços infectos.

Sex and the City 2 liveblog thing...kind of.

2010-06-14T06:35:00.005+01:00

I can't sleep, and am in need of something quite brainless. So, let's put on Sex and the City 2, shall we?

01.31 Omid Djalili is in it. I'm betting his part will involve asian stereotypes. Lots of 'em.

03.16 Most believable 80's/90's outfit? Samantha's, closely followed by Miranda.

04.07 "LOL, THE GAYS ARE GETTING MARRIED." Oh, Sex and City...remember when you were actually not a cliché?

05.27 So, Carrie is wearing a suit and bow-tie, and Big just said "ooops, your fly is down" in a tone reminiscent of a low budget porn movie.

06.14 "LOL, EVEN THOUGH WE SAID IT WASN'T A GAY WEDDING JUST BECAUSE GAYS ARE MARRIED, WE'VE ARRIVED TO FIND THAT EVERYTHING IS QUITE GAY. LOL. THIS IS COMEDIC."

06.28 Damn, Miranda looks nice in that dress. Cleavage down to her shoes, but I think think she looks quite nice.

06.45 Samantha brought her dog, which surprises everyone. This prompts her to say "it's a gay wedding...one more bitch with attitude doesn't make that much difference". Yeah.

08.22 Quoting Madonna lyrics. I wonder if the younger girls watching this knew that was a reference to something else.

09.34 I have to stop listing each reference to "LOL, THE GAYS".

11.00 "Could this wedding get any gayer?" "Look who's marrying them" ...and it's Liza Minelli. I'd react to this, but I left my emotions on my pants, and I'm not wearing them right now.

11.13 Okay, this was amusing. "How did they get Liza to do this?" "When there's this much gay energy in a room, she manifests." I cannot explain why, but I'm quite weird when it comes to jokes about gay stereotypes. To me, that one is amusing, but the whole "I'LL BRING A FEMALE DOG BECAUSE THIS IS SO GAY IT'S FULL OF BITCHES" doesn't really float my boat.

12.46 WAT. Liza is singing a version of "Single Ladies". I...I cannot. Give me a second, I have to get some water.

13.23 Okay, she's doing the choreography too. Well, some of it, anyway.

13.56 Charlotte's perfect marriage apparently isn't perfect. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS, OMC?

I agree completely.

19.03 Samantha hits on someone. That took longer than I expected.

19.25 And 20 seconds later, they are fucking. Ah, that's the Samantha I know.

21.13 In a way, it's kind of a silly move to show an old Hollywood movie because you can clearly tell how much better it is.

23.31 Best part of the movie so far: 15 seconds of slow motion bouncing breasts. Gotta love 'em.

25.01 Scratch that. All in all, I got half a minute of that.

29.17 Miranda just kicked some ass. Well, I'm just assuming that since they didn't actually show it. And yet, I've already been treated to 5 minutes of Carrie and Big doing nothing/discussing how rich they are.

30.07 More breasts! This film is getting better.

35.59 Why are Carrie and Big simultaneously unbalanced and incredibly sappy? I am dying over here.

36.47 He bought her a flatscreen. Did she really expect anything else from the guy who sent her love letters...copied from a book? And honestly Big, with the way she is, you'd have to be really stupid to get it wrong. There, see? All she wanted was some jewellery.

38.45 I loved Samantha just now. "For the record, I am fifty-fucking-two years old and I will rock this dress."

41.45 A friend of mine tweeted something a few days ago: "why do portuguese radios air 'New York State of Mind' when we have our own version?" . And now, each time I hear the song, I keep waiting for the portuguese lyrics to come up. Eles dizem ganda maluco/eu respondo tásse bem.

42.47 And Miley Cyrus is in the movie. For some reason. With her spikey collar. Bad Miley, bad!

44.40 Carrie is complaining that all Big wants to do is stay at home and watch tv on the couch. Stanford offers a great piece of forward-thinking advice, straight out of the women rights movement: "Count your blessings, honey. Remember when you couldn't even get him to sleep over?"

45.09 Why does Penelope Cruz never look as beautiful as when she is in one of Almodovar's movies?

46.46 She did not just say "sparkle guy". Carrie, you do not want "sparkle guy". Stay away from the SKIN OF A KILLAH.

48.56 Almost one hour gone by, and I just spent 5 more minutes watching a couple argue about minute stuff, when I'm more interested in how the Miranda thing is going to turn out. Hell, even Charlotte and her two screaming kids are more entertaining than this.

50.48 Not going to lie, this is my modus operandi. Lock myself in a room, and bang my head against a wall until I come up with a solution.

53.42 Some advice for the future on relationships: if you want to keep it fresh, move for a few days to your other apartment. Getting the apartment will be easy, I'm sure.

55.21 And now they're discussing it at length, with Big suggesting they both get 2 days off each week from their marriage.

57.53 Finally, we get to the LOOK AT US BEING STUPIDLY RICH part of the movie. Carrie has a stupidly big hat.

61.54 And now that Carrie has told the big "2 days off" plan, the girls question her and she goes to bed freaking about it.

65.28 Omid Djalili is in.

66.26 Charlotte "WE HAVE A PRIVATE ELEVATOR??" OMIGAWD AN ELEVATOR. HOW EXCITING.

71.10 I will chose to interpret that moment in which local stylish girl looked at Carrie as blatant flirting.

72.29 Could the butlers start mentioning "pleasure" every five seconds? I mean...there's only so much I can do to keep focused on the movie.

75.30 I love how in this part of the movie, Miranda is playing Wikipedia. Every time she's on screen, we get more background on Abu Dhabi (Got that spelling right on the first try. Yay.)

75.38 And once again, Carrie is dressed in a ridiculous manner, Miranda looks stylish but quietly so.

79.19 Oh, it's that guy who actually wanted commitment when Carrie didn't.

83.32 Samantha was talking about her vagina. Boring, but still doesn't make me sleepy.

85.14 The Sex and the City staple: the four girls walking. Come to think of it, that's a really boring shot. And this time, Miranda is the more ridiculous one.

86.48 They are on camels...talking about camel toes. This movie is the height of wit.

88.38 "Lawrence of my labia"...really? That is just too much, even for Samantha.

90.37 As cheesy as the karaoke scene is, it's quite an honest, relaxed moment. Basically, it's not Liza Minelli singing single ladies or Carrie arguing about a flatscreen.

95.10 If the one thing wrong with your life is the fact that you put out one book that wasn't universally adored, then you probably don't realize how lucky you are. Additionally, that cartoon, if anything, is quite flattering.

99.00 And after all these years, we finally get a chance to see why Miranda is the most grounded person out of the four.

101.44 "How to the women without help raise their kids?" "I have no fucking idea." And it only took 100 minutes to hear something that you would on the show.

105.12 Adultery is fun if the two people are married! YAY!

109.05 ...I'm omitting my commentary to this scene.

111.17 Big has quite the bitchface. Yes, all one word. Urban Dictionary, entry nº2.

121.21 Lose your passport. [advice dog] Buy some shoes and get it back.

127.12 I'm kind of glad that it took this long for something to happen that made them put burkas on. On the other hand...is it really that necessary?

132.36 Blah blah blah and they made up.

134.32 Hot nanny is a lesbian. Pity we didn't get to see her breasts in slow motion again.

And the movie closes with everyone having a nice dinner, just seconds after Samantha fucked another guy. With fireworks in the background. Funny, that never happens to me. The fireworks, I mean.

And that's all, I guess. A waste of time, since I'm still not sleepy. As per usual, I'll only get sleepy at about 2 pm. Huzzah.

Literary Cleanup, glaksgasnfajbluh

2010-04-26T07:20:00.003+01:00

You may have noticed there haven't been any Literary Cleanup posts lately. Or, perhaps, you are too busy reading something interesting to notice this. Regardless, this is the time of the year where my free time is spent sleeping (because the rest of the day I am probably in classes or studying), so I don't really care for books, at the moment. I am trying to force myself to read A Queda dum Anjo, so we'll see how that goes. If, in a week, I haven't made much progress, I will probably read another short story.

In the meantime, have some pictures of weird things.

Cacilhas, at 7 am. Reminds me of the Luggage.

So THAT'S why they are called Era. Wait, did they just name a company so they can occasionally do a (bad) pun?

Anjos subway station. Quite grim, huh? Compare it to the new and improved Saldanha station:

What a difference. Not to say that Anjos needs a "makeover" as huge as this, because Avenida, one of the older stations is looking much better lately and all they did was paint it light blue and fix the lighting. Honesty, just that would make me happy...and not think of Irreversible every time I go through that corridor.

And finally...

Whoever did this sure loves ^ . Oh, Almada, how I love thee.

UR DOIN IT WRONG.

2010-04-23T12:42:00.000+01:00

And here is a montage of people doing shit wrong on informercials. Whoever had the idea for this...I salute you.

4 Chord Song

2010-04-22T11:12:00.001+01:00

Music snobs have been saying for years that all pop music sounds the same, and finally, some australian dudes have validated this theory:

I bet that if I knew anything about music, I wouldn't find this half as fascinating, but as I'm an ignorant waffle, my reaction is "wow, we are all suckers".

The End of Time – part 2 (!) – a recap

2010-04-20T09:47:00.001+01:00

Oh man, last time seeing that intro. I CANNOT WAIT. Wait a second, I need to watch the intro again, just because it is so good.

What...? Is this Gallifrey?

“All the prophecies say that this is the last day. This is the day when Gallifrey falls”. Aaaah, I see.

Okay, Timothy Dalton just killed a Time Lord-ess (Time Lady?) because she asked him to end the War. The Doctor is “missing”.

Give them hell, Donna!

Live, DoctorDonna, LIVE!

I love that significant chunks of this have no music at all. Just adds to the mood.

So the drums he hears are the heartbeat of a time lord. Interesting.

Okay, something is bothering me. Why wasn't Wilfred changed?

“God bless the cactuses!”
“That's cacti.”

“Worst. Rescue. EVAR.”

That spaceship looks like a cross between a building and one of those sony radios with the “vintage” look.

Timothy Dalton threw a diamond at the earth and now the timelords have a connection to it. PLEASE EXPLAIN MORE I AM SO CONFUSED. WHY WAS HIS HAIR BLEACHED?

“Sometimes, I think a Time Lord lives too long.”

Nonononono! What's he doing with that gun?

“This is the hour where Gallifrey falls...or rises!” I honestly cannot stop gasping.

Okay, the time lords are bastards because of the war. Thanks for explaining. It only took you half an hour.

Well, that's a way to make an entrance.

Okay, Lord Timothy Dalton just reversed the Master's work. That's...good, right? Maybe the trip to Earth made them become less evil.

The “something returning” was Gallifrey. And that's...also not bad. I'm still waiting for the “AND NOW MANKIND WILL DIE” bit. And an explanation of the Master's hair (seriously, it's not a good look).

“Hell is decending.”
“My kind of world.”

Ah, Master, you never disappoint. Still, Gallifrey is looming over the Earth and it's not only full with Time Lords who are not that nice but also...Daleks!

Shit just got real. Fuck, he is going to kill himself, isn't he? GAAAH.

...or maybe not.That lady giving instructions to Wilfred was a Time Lady! And the Time Lord theme is on...what's happening!?

The Doctor shot the machine and the Time Lords are being sent back. But Time Dalton is pissed, he wanted more screen time, so he's going to kill the Doctor.

And he's saved by the Master! FUCK YEAH.

And where the hell is Donna?

“I'm...I'm still alive.” Oh shit, someone knocked 4 times. It was Wilfred. ...wha...? Ah, okay, he's stuck in that box...thing and he's probably going to die. OH GOD I FINALLY GOT IT. HE WILL KNOCK FOUR TIMES AND THE DOCTOR HAS TO DIE TO SAVE HIM.

“That's who you are, Wilfred.”

Fuck, he's really angry.

!!!!

He got out of the box and healed his scars. HE REGERATED HIS SKIN. GUESS WHAT THAT MEANS?

Donna! He's going to say goodbye to you. Please let him do that. WTF HE DIDN'T. COME ON!! ARGH.

So, really... What was the point of Donna in this whole episode? What was the point of having her almost regain her memory and being stuck in John Mastervich world if she played no part in saving the Earth? You can do better than this, Rusty.

Oooh, there's Mickey.

And Martha is looking adorable. They are married? WHAT. Wasn't she married already?

Okay, how the fuck do they all know he is going to die? He's not even speaking.

I AM LAUGHING SO HARD AT THIS. “You put the devil in me” is the music that makes this scene hilarious, even though Jack is sulking like fuck. The Doctor gave Jack a note saying “his name is Alonso” referring to the cute guy sitting next to him. O...kay. Is Alonso going to be a part of Torchwood now? THIS STORY LINKING BIT IS KINDA BAFFLING.

Wow, they've really made an effort to cover all of the characters.

FINALLY.

Come on, I don't care about you two. Let Donna say goodbye to him!

Okay, it was a cute scene. He went to see Donna's dad just to make her mum happy and he gave them a lottery ticket.

Still bothers me that apparently she apparently is always missing "something" and yet we are supposed to look at this as a happy ending.

This was inevitable, but she still looks so weird, compared to the first season. Okay, this was before she met him. Damn, he looks so depressed. But he did say "you will have a fantastic year." Good use of the "fantastic". ~~Nine is *my* doctor~~

It's really happening!

Damn, this sucks. Last look at the TARDIS, as well. I heard they changed it and made it bigger.

*sigh*

"I...I don't want to go."

I don't want you to go, either!

Sometimes, I hate this show. I mean, I knew this was going to happen, but I hate that it did after I really started to like this Doctor more.

Though the moments after regeneration are always funny. “Legs, I still got legs!”

He is crashing, but very happy about it. Ah, good ol' Doctor, laughing in the face of danger.

And there it is.

Ugh. Sucky new logo is sucky. I hate it so. Needs to be more kitsch and Ye Olde.

Well, this basically was everything I wanted it to be and more. Great season finale...just wish we would have had more time with this Doctor, who's much open and frail. I still think Matt Smith is too young, but we will see.

P.S. :

The End of Time (1) – a Doctor Who recap

2010-04-15T07:43:00.002+01:00

Fuck yeah, Wilfred!

“They call him The Sainted Physician.” LOL WUT. And who the hell are you?

And seriously, who had the idea to change the credits? They are FINE like this.

The casual opening, as is normal on the start of a two-part episode.

“I locked the TARDIS like a car...locked it...like a car. It's funny.” What do you think, Mr. Ood?

My thoughts exactly.

The Oods are having nightmares. So is Wilfred. First mention of Donna.

“I held him in my arms. I burned his body. The Master is dead.” The Master theme is soooo good. "The drums, the drums, the never ending drums."

Looking at the screencap, it seems a bit less dramatic, but the “he returns” scene was very gripping. Another example?

They sometimes exaggerate too much with the blue lights, but this time it was very appropriate.

Well, he died fast.

Ah, well, if you were forgetting it's Christmas, then here's a reminder.

I knew he would be back because I saw a screenshot similar to this one. It left my wondering: WTF is it with the bleached hair? It's not 1994, Mr. Saxon.

DRAMATIC MOMENT. SEE AS THE MASTER GETS HIS NOM ON.

“I'm hilarious!” Why yes, yes you are.

The Doctor is now chasing the Master, possibly to mock his hair. Then Wilfred (I keep writing Wilbur) finds him along with his senior friends and stops to have a coffee. Ya know, like you usually do when something ominous is going on.

DONNA!

Oh man, his voice his cracking. Wow.

WHAT THE HELL. WHAT? JAMES BOND IS IN DOCTOR WHO. WHO IS HE? WHY IS HE NARRATING?

“Do you hear that sound?” Yes, Master, it's the sound of the slashers fainting.

They've taken the Master. Who? No idea.

She is realizing something. Come on, make DoctorDonna happen.

Wow, that girl (she's the prime-minister daugther, because this is Doctor Who after all, so the prime-minister is always involved) is really into Master. Oh god, I didn't mean...you know...”into” as in...gosh, nevermind.

WAT. Okay, we're 44 minutes in and no one has explained the bleached hair.

They are connecting this to the battle in Torchwood 1. Good, I like plots that make SENSE.

The green lady said the big device thing mends PLANETS. Yeah, Doctor, I am as shocked as you are.

EEEEP!

I'm sorry, but this is funny as fuck. Also, John Malkovich. And Donna is remembering. Please, let her live!

OMG THIS SHIT IS HILARIOUS. The “Master race” is quite clever.

:O . I have not the words...OH MY GOD. (Yes, I've only now realized ~~Bond, James Bond~~ Mr. Dalton is a time lord. And the Big Boss of time lords, no less.)

“For the end of time itself.” ...wait...are the time lords all bastards now?

I just...I cannot. WANT NEXT EPISODE NOW, PLEASE. AGAIN, SORRY FOR THE ABUSE OF CAPS. MY EMOTIONS, THEY ONLY COME IN CAPITAL FORM.
And to be quite honest, I don't yet see the "weakness" that most people found in this episode. Maybe I will once I see the next part, but for now, it suits me fine.

The Waters of Mars – A Doctor Who recap

2010-04-14T09:09:00.001+01:00

“Ah, the red planet”. Wait, didn't I read somewhere that it was actually brown? Screw that, the intro is rolling in!

I'm watching each character and trying to figure out the order in which they will die. I really should get into it more and stop ~~being my mum whenever I go to see a thriller with her and~~ guessing the end 10 minutes in.

“State your name, rank and intention.”

“The Doctor. Doctor. ...fun.” The way he said fun was so hilarious I had to pause to have a large giggle.

Super eerie. I'm a bit startled, I must say.

FUCK JESUS GAWD. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Taking a screencap of that was not easy, trust me.
*hides under bed *

Okay, Ten's “O” face has made it all better.

Fucking hell, why is the running water scaring me? AND OMG AGAIN WHY DID I JUMP I KNEW HE WOULD TURN FUCK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Fuck Blink, this is much worse on my poor little heart.

Officially the scariest episode of Who ever.

Uuuuughhhh.

I want to believe that it was a Back to the Future reference. It's got to be.

Fantastic link back to season 4's finale.

The tension is delicious. Not because it's weird, badly-paced or awkward, quite the opposite: it's fantastic.

With not a word, I can fully understand how painful it is to leave them behind.

This is making me tear up a little. Fuck.

“Why can't you help me if you know how to change it?”
“I can't.”

I haven't got a single snarky comment for this. It's just so brilliant. So heartbreaking, but brilliant.

Oh hell yeah. THE TIMELORD SAVING MUSIC IS ON.

I'm overflowing with an incredible joy at this scene. The rawness of it, his anger, his frustration, the realization that he doesn't have to obey any laws...fuck me, I'm going to miss David Tennant.

“The laws of time are mine, and they will obey me!”

“No one should have that much power!”
“Tough.”

I like the dark, horrible side of him.

“There's no one to stop you.”
“No.”
“This is wrong, Doctor!”

“Is there anything you can't do?”
“...not anymore.”

AWESOME TWIST. I FORGIVE YOU, RUSTY. ~~For the 94029492º time.~~

I love this, I love this, I love this, I LOVE THIS. FINALLY. Finally they've called him out, finally we discover why the Doctor needs a companion and finally we see him genuinely scared.

I already knew he was in it, but FUCK YEAH, MASTER IN THE NEXT EPISODE. SORRY FOR THE ABUNDANCE OF CAPS.

Planet of the Dead – a Doctor Who recap

2010-04-13T06:05:00.034+01:00

So, previously...sorry, no point in me doing this as the Christmas special is always a stand alone episode.

I'm very impressed by the first couple of shots. They look more movie-ish, but that may be because this reminds me of Mission: Impossible.

And this of Indiana Jones. Hopefully only this was intentional.

WTF MANEKI NEKO. Okay. Interesting.

OMG WHAT'S GWEN DOING THERE? Relax, I know it's not her. I wish it was, though. I've been missing her accent.

Love the dirty Converse sneakers. I wonder if they are like that from regular filming or if they had to “age” them.

And I almost forgot this is an Easter episode. Well, it seems I'm right on time. Kind of.

Again, very nice shot, but I'm a tiny bit bored, mainly because this reminds me of that Donna-less episode where he was on that plane full of people going a bit mental.

Btw, I have tried to see this one before, but ended up skipping a lot of it, so now I'm trying my hardest not to do so.

I want to sonic-screwdrive my glasses until they become sunglasses too!

Never get tired of the silly expressions. I do wonder how Matt Smith is going to play his doctor, because he really does have big shoes to fill. I hope he continues to lick things.

The cop just called UNIT. Is it just my memory or is this the first time in a very long while we hear about them?

Okay, there's something bothering me. Why does she have a sort of Jamaican accent? Better still, why does she sound like the Voodoo Lady from PotC?

Yet more proof of how ridiculous his hair has gotten.

“I'm Christina. Lady Christina, actually.”
“Ooh, that's handy, because I'm a Lord.”
“Of what?”
“It's quite a big estate.”

Oh look, it's Lee Evans doing a very forced accent. How nice. Is that...a...West Country accent? Why not ask Bill Bailey, then? I'd love that, actually.

~~STRIKE A POSE, VOGUE.~~ And here, we have Ten speaking the language of the alien ants. Ah, I love how this show can always break a tense moment with silliness. I am more engaged in this now, though. I like ant race. They are fun. (Until, that is, they become evil, which they might.)

Shit, they are out of gas.

FLYING STINGRAYS!

Okay, sorry for the long, no recap bit, but nothing special was happening. Until, of course, shit happened:

No. Stop. Seriously. Stop. I hate that they feel the need to include stuff like this.

“I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! ...I love you.” Now, this would have been a much more interesting kiss. I love his surprised cat impression.

“We're the perfect team.” I beg to differ. You are no Donna, and you are certainly not DoctorDonna.

“Your song is ending.” Oh dear god, not Riversong again. Anyway, I like that he denied Posh Thief the chance and being a companion and this little teaser at the end was good too. Basically, I liked this episode more than I thought I would.

Well, I can't wait for the next episode, and it's @jjnopants' favorite. He even asked me to recap after I had seen it because he felt it would take away from the awesomeness. Let's see how Waters of Mars goes.

The Next Doctor – A recap

2010-04-09T16:00:00.001+01:00

So, due to reasons I don't quite understand, I've waited this long to watch the five specials that aired last year and that marked the last season of David Tennant as Doctor Who. Of course, because it's quite hard to get away from spoilers, I know who the new doctor is and what he looks like, so that won't be a surprise. However, I did manage to stay in the dark about the plotlines in this season, so hopefully I will react as strongly to them as I would if I had seen them when they aired.

And I'm recapping with pictures to amuse @jjnopants . Yes, I'm finally doing it!

The Next Doctor opens with Ten being...well, Ten.

And why is that awesome? Because it looks like this:

Awesome.

Of course, not even two minutes in and there is running for no reason, like in any decent Doctor Who episode. I tried to get a screencap, but it's quite difficult. The credits roll in and I'm already weary because I know they have changed them, and this is one of the last shots I get to see them.

Is that a Cyber...dog? Cybergorilla? Regarless, whatever it is they are doing looks like fun.

Next Doctor: Cybermen...you won't believe me, but they are creatures from another world.
Doctor: *fake shock * Reaaaally?

A few minutes later:

Next Doctor: A talk of Cyberman and you don't blink.
Doctor: Don't blink! Remember that?!

Good one.

Next Doctor: [while trying to break in] How did you get here?
Doctor: Front door. I'm good at doors.

That exchange amused me quite a lot. But the Next Doctor's “sonic screwdriver” amused me even more.

Doctor: How is it sonic?
Next Doctor: It makes a noise. [bangs screwdriver against the door making it produce a “toc”]

Loving this “Doctor as companion” thing and the fact that they've acknowledged that usually companions question absolutely everything.

Fogwatch fail!

TIME LORD KISS. THE FANFICTION WAS RIGHT AFTER ALL. No, not really. Just wishful thinking.

Seriously, I never get tired of his silly expressions. Unfortunately, I wish I liked Next Doctor more than I do currently. Maybe that will change.

[Insert “it really is bigger on the inside” joke]

KISS! Sorry, I will stop doing that. My actual point: is this when he fully realizes the other bloke isn't a Time Lord because he only has one heart?

Is she a who...working girl? I didn't quite catch it when she said it but I shall now stick with this idea. It's much funnier.

Okay, the acting a bit rubbish in this.

Still, I like what they have done to the Tardis. It's a great improvement, IMO.

OMG FIRST AWESOME THING OF THE EPISODE.

I STILL MISS NINE. *sigh*

Ah, but I will miss his silly grin too.

Fugue state? Ah, I'll take it. It's believable enough. I mean, I did manage to get through that Doctor-less first season episode. After that, everything is easy.

Yes, more running! That's why this episode feels a bit slow. Not enough running (to the sound of epic music, no less).

Rosetta asks “what's happening” and by the look of it, it seems like the auditions for Oliver have opened.

Another emo Doctor. Great, just what I neeeded.

And now he's Rambo Doctor. Along with his side-kick

...Rambetta. [If you can't tell, that's Rosetta punching Miss Working Girl]

Now there are children working and they are not particularly good actors as well.

“That was designated: a lie.” Dunno why that made me laugh, but it did. Still, HOW SURPRISING THAT THE EVIL HUMAN WILL ALSO BE CONVERTED. I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT AT ALL. *sigh*

Cool contacts. I hate doing this, but this how it will unveil: Doctor will fight them, and in the end, their downfall will be that the conversion wasn't 100% sucessful and she will somehow sabotage them as a “last redemption” thing. Or they will realize she is still too human and kill her. Either way, it won't end well for her.

Kill, Cyberbitch, kill!

Was the “save the kid” moment really necessary? It would have been much cooler if he had been transformed into a Cyberbaby.

MECHA-STREISAND.

When she said “behold my power” I expected Alucard or Richter to jump in. They didn't. Shame.

Mecha-Streisand has pew pew lasers. Nope, not kidding, they did actually make the “pew pew” noise.

I was kind of right. Anyway WTF is this? Is she screaming them to death? This is an ugly side to the Doctor, though. He kind of...killed her.

YOU DID NOT JUST SAY “THEY BREAK MY HEART”. Quick, someone help me, I have no idea how I should feel about this. I mean, it may be true but it's so unlike him to say such a thing.

Anyway, it was a decent episode, but still miles away from The Christmas Invasion, which is my favorite one – yes, despite me loving Donna now, I still don't quite like The Runaway Bride. A good start to a companion-less season, though I doubt they won't steer away from the “Doctor meets random person and that same person is the companion for the episode”. Also, because I know some actors will reapear, I'm quite curious as to what route they will take towards the regeneration.

Vote or...absolutely nothing will happen to you

2010-03-29T09:42:00.003+01:00

~~This~~ Last week, there are student council elections at my ~~personal hell~~ college. Now, usually, I don't give a shit about them, and while I may browbeat someone into voting - it's the one aspect of political life I'm very passionate about - I didn't vote for this election.
Without getting into a long rant, everyone should vote. We have power via the simplest of gestures and I think it is not only wasteful but irresponsible not to express your views. I hate to hear people saying that they don't vote because they don't like "the higher ups" and don't want to support their "games". Well, there's one solution to that: vote for another party, vote blank, just VOTE. And that person will say "well, I'm not voting in protest!". Fine, protest, but bare in mind that you will be bundled with the people that went to the beach, or to a football match because they don't give a shit about elections. A black vote means you went to the trouble of voting, even though you don't agree with any of the choices presented to you. [You may point out that usually blank and null votes are counted together, and yes, they shouldn't be. It's still better than staying at home.] That, to me, is the best way of protesting, because I can't stand people blaming our politicians for everything - even though they aren't, you know, GOOD - and then not doing something to counter that. You have the duty to vote, and if you don't, you cannot blame others for choosing a certain person, because you let them make that choice for you. It's called being responsible for your future, and it may not seem like much, but every vote does count. And as soon as we all realize how powerful we truly are, I believe we will become a lot more demanding, and thus, not any guy with a law degree can run our country. Because our politicians know that most people don't care who's in charge, they don't try hard enough, and that's the real issue. It's very easy to satisfy someone who isn't that bothered about it in the first place. I'm not excusing their behaviour, I'm just stating that our current problem with politics and politicians is strongly connected to the voters' unwillingness to challenge them.

OKAY, LET'S MOVE ON TO THE PICTURES.

Maybe last year it was this crazy, but I wasn't there to witness it. I remember in my first year of college, the people from the C list glued little stickers everywhere. I thought THAT was obnoxious. It seems I have no idea what's obnoxious, because, as you can see from that picture, they spared the windows because they couldn't get to them. And really, I wish I had gotten these shots the day before, when the wind hadn't said fuck you to the collage treatment of that building, so you'd get the fuck effect of this batshittery. Maybe this will help.[More pictures after the cut]

It's the first time I've ever seen ANYTHING hanging from that tower. Seeing this when I arrived caused me to stop and stare at the tower for a few minutes thinking "what the hell happened that made this election so important"? I mean, in other years, all people did was a)decide on a letter of the alphabet , b)photocopy stuff and c)put up posters and give away flyers . The sheer amount of effort spent this year is probably more than all the other years combined. Even the entrance had ballons. And one of the lists had a person on stilts.

For your reference, this year, students had the chance to vote between A and & [I await anxiously for next year, when $ will run for student council, in direct battle with # and %]. A was the typical "our flyers are crappy photocopies" one and & was the "we have so much money we all our posters are IN COLOR". The slogans amuse me because I think you'd really have to push yourself to get them wrong. "More scholarships, less tuitions". I wonder what they did before college... "More cookies, less school"? And the gimmick of the other list is to use their name, &, in their catchphrases. I know, it's genius. "Ideas & Optimism", "Innovation & Experience","Milk & Cookies", "Ren & Stimpy". [Note that the first two are actual slogans]

And both lists try their hardest to get noticed.

All the bins in school - except for the ones indoors - are like this. The funniest thing about that second picture, however, is how the bins are clearly painted so you can recycle, yet the cardboard boxes are in every bin EXCEPT for the blue one. God bless you, FCSH.

Guess what that was? Maybe another picture will help.

Still confused? These are bathrooms. Nope, it's not annoying at all. It becomes even more grating when I know that those posters are not going to be taken down after this, but, like all the others, be left to peel off by themselves. Makes for a very clean college.

I was going to scan and dissect the flyers they gave out, but I realized that implied me reading through bullshit and I do enough of that in my classes, so I'll finish up with this: I didn't vote. I have never voted for a student election. Why? Because in all these years, nothing has changed. The one thing that does is that each year, the parties organized by the student council have different themes. It may sound silly that I'm doing the exact thing I tell people not in national elections [and even there, I see a big difference, but a national election is for real, and this most certainly isn't], but here's the thing: they have no power. There was an english girl in one of my classes last semester and because her presentation was about UK college life, she actually asked us where our student council was because she had no clue. I explained where it was and she said "well, I've been here for a few months but I assumed that, because I didn't see anything (no announcements, no clubs, nothing) that you simply didn't have one".

So, even if I vote, I'm only choosing between party themes, and frankly, student parties are always shit. I mean, any party without Trivial Pursuit is worthless, so why bother?

Literary Cleanup, book #6

2010-03-25T11:29:00.000Z

Tom Sawyer, Detective - Mark Twain (free to read @ Project Gutenberg)

Don't mock me. If it's in my shelf, I'm going to read it, even if it's Where's Waldo. This really is something you'd read on a nice day at the beach, because it's a very simple and fast read. Yeah, I haven't got that much to say about it. Well, the only real thing that sprung to mind while I was reading it is that Tom Sawyer is a bit of a knob-head. Why? Well, he drags Huck with him so he can go his flights of fancy with some insurance, you know? At least, if he dies, Huck will too.
Also - and this either means I'm jaded or I've read too many crime novels - in which bloody court does the judge allow a kid to be a lawyer, let alone interrupt the trial so he can present a story for which he has no evidence? Anyway, like I said, it's a light read, good for when you're not feeling like thinking too much. Durrr.

Excerpt:

Por fim, ouvi-o dizer, tão cheio de calma que me deu ganas de lhe pregar um soco:
- Tenho muita pena, tia Polly, mas creio que terá de me dispensar dessa viagem, nesta ocasião.
A tia Polly ficou tão estupefacta e atordoada com aquela fria impertinência que, durante meio minuto, perdeu a fala e afastou-se alguns passos, circunstância que me permitiu dar uma cotovelada em Tom, e murmurar-lhe:
- Onde tens tu o juízo? Porque não aproveitas uma bela portunidade como esta, e a deitas fora?
Ele continuou impassível, e volveu-me para baixo:
- Huck Finn, quererás tu, porventura, que ela perceba o meu grande desejo de fazer a viagem? Porque se ela o percebesse, começaria logo a duvidar, e a imaginar uma série de doenças, perigos e objecções, e, fica-o sabendo, anulava pela certa a resolução que me anunciou. Deixa-me cá; eu sei como hei-de manejá-la.
Confesso que não tinha pensado naquilo. Mas ele tinha razão. Tom Sawyer tinha sempre razão, era a cabeça mais atilada que tenho visto, constantemente alerta contra a possível má-fé alheia, e pronto para qualquer eventualidade.

Literary Cleanup, book #5

2010-03-18T12:34:00.000Z

The Princess - D. H. Lawrence (free to read @ project Guttenberg)

A good short story, that got a lot more interesting towards the end, though I still feel the pacing was all over the place-- at first, it's quite slow but then all the "good" bits, as it were, seem to tumble down on you quite rapidly, and you have almost no time to take them all in. The backcover tells me that the Princess is a typical D. H. Lawrence woman, which does make me want to read more of his books.

Btw, I must note this: I am reading a lot of short stories, yes, but I do not feel that cheapens this whole thing.Why? Well, mainly because I am trying to read the books I have, and I don't care if they have 3 or 8942842 pages. Besides, I find short stories to be great vehicles in assessing whether I'd be interested in reading a novel by that particular author or not. Moreover, they do come quite in handy when I get in to my usual rut of taking 4000 million years to get into a novel. Thus, I never stop reading, even if I don't really feel like it.

Excerpt:

Ao lado do pai latagão e formoso, com o seu quê de louco, a Princesa andava direita, toda distinção mas pequena, quase minúscula no físico e com ar de criança trazida pelas fadas. Vestia simplesmente e em geral de azul ou delicado cinzas, com golas em velho ponto-de-milão ou de linho cheio de bordados finos. Tinha mãos frágeis que a tocar tiravam do piano sonoridade de cravo. E tendência para ir à rua de peregrina e capa, em vez de casaco, com uma colecção de chapéus oitocentistas. A pele era pura flor de macieira.
Parecia saída de um quadro. E morreu sem conhecer o estranho quadro onde o pai a tinha encaixilhado para sempre.

Literary Cleanup, book #4

2010-03-15T07:21:00.001Z

O Barão - Branquinho da Fonseca

First crap book of the year! Let's celebrate! Honestly, I went into this excited, because I had just finished O Mistério da Estrada de Sintra , so I was all like "yeah, let's read some more portuguese authors!" only to become puzzled, bored and frustrated. Despite the title, O Barão - or, at least, the version I have of it - includes 2 more stories, As Mãos Frias and O Involuntário. Let's start with O Barão. The back cover says:

Novelist and short story writer, Branquinho da Fonseca was one of the founders of "Presença", the famous magazine that helped modernize portuguese literature. [...] O Barão probably is Branquinho da Fonseca's most popular book. The author delves in the telluric Barroso hill, deep in the core of Portugal, where he battles with a primitive world that dominates and almost absorbs him. The baron is one of the most fascinating and overwhelming characters of all portuguese literature.

Now, believe me: that last line is complete bullshit. But I'll get to that soon. First of all, it does surprise me that this is the guy who, in some way, was a pioneer in our country. How? I mean, I do get that you have to consider the time this was written in, but the Eça de Queiróz book was, in 1870, a lot more modern than this one, written in 1942. Now that just boggles my mind. How can something written in the middle of a war - well, even though Portugal was sipping on tea waiting for it to end, trying to be as far away from trouble as possible - and sound so self-indulgent, futile and detached from reality? I love how they mention the "telluric" aspect of it, but in reality, the actual place they were in was mentioned quite briefly. It's less about how beautiful and magical the place was and more about how magical and beautiful women are, in general. I think I would have ~~liked~~ not hated it if the book didn't try to be anything else than an ode to the powerful passions stirred by even the simplest of women. I use "simple" because both main characters have huge boners for the lady who makes them dinner. Why? Because OOOH THE COUNTRY THE ROMANCE SHE HAS BREASTS AND I'M DRUNK, BUT NOTHING WILL HAPPEN. There, that's the whole story for ya. And the baron? Self-absorbed, alcoholic douchebag who coerces the school inspector who's staying with him to drink a whole lot even though he will work the next day. Also, he convinces him to run around at 3 am going to some woman's house, to do...something. Being drunk, mostly.

(I love how I have so much to say about a book I didn't like, and yet for Sourcery I only wrote a small paragraph)

What about the other two stories? Well, since you asked, I can tell you that they are equally pointless and unimpressive. All the characters create big philosophical manifestos out of nothing, only to arrive to absolutely no conclusion. Ineffectual, meaningless tripe.

I usually have a rule about stuff I don't like: however bad it was, I will still try to read another book by that author because I don't think you can honestly judge their work having read only a tiny morsel of it. That being said, you can be damn sure I won't be running to library in search of more Branquinho da Fonseca. I have wasted enough time already.

Excerpt:

Já estávamos ambos embriagados. O Barão ergueu-se, fitou-me e disse, de repente triste:
- Vamos beber por uma mulher.
Levantei-me também. Foi tão tal armário e trouxe uma garrafa de champanhe. Berrou:
- Taças!
E tentava tirar o arme da rolha, sem conseguir. Veio a criada e pôs quatro taças sobre a mesa. O arame não saía. Então bateu com o gargalo da garrafa na borda da mesa e o champanhe jorrou em espuma branca. Reparando que estavam mais taças, com as costas da mão atirou duas da mesa abaixo. Eram de reserva. Porém, daquela vez não queria reservas. E ergueu a taça que transbordava. Eu imitei-o, perguntando nebulosamente:
- A que mulher?
- À única!
E bebemos ao mesmo tempo, despejando-as de um só trago. MAs com surpresa notei que o barão tinha ficado subitamente pensativo. Depois, com um gesto solene atirou o copo ao chão e fitou-me, silencioso. Fiz o mesmo, atirei a taça.

A day in the life of a college student

2010-03-10T08:35:00.002Z

The title should really be "how I keep myself amused in a day full of classes I don't want to have" or even more simply "I hate college, here's some pictures". Added bonus? Limericks!*

Woke up quite early to learn some stuff
Left the house running to catch the damn bus
The rain was most troubling
My chances to fall were doubling
The driver left, all I could do was cuss.

After the first class, trouble ensued
The need was growing--sorry to be crude
But using those terrible "facilities"
Was fraught with daunting possibilities
Bloody hell, I guess I'm screwed.

You may wonder the cause of the "show and tell"
Well, all I want is to share my own hell
Because in that dreadful college
There isn't, to the best of my knowledge
A place where you don't risk dying from the smell.

This is the place literary students roam
To me, its peaceful aura is almost home
But of course even there,
- and the picture proves I'm aware -
the lack of organization makes my mouth foam.

I haven't got a good rhyme for this one
because this is where I usually have fun
non political science classes are a hoot
my love for my degree is minute
And I sometimes I wish I had a gun.

This place is popular with some folk
which to me is a bit of a sick joke
Yummy those oranges may seem
even protected by that glass screen
They still would taste of beer and smoke.

Ah, it seems that I lied.
Believe me, I have endlessly tried
to find such a room
where cleanliness would bloom
Nevermind, it's closed. I'll let that one slide.

Most intriguing this door is
it does indeed trigger a quiz
what purpose a door this small
can have, hidden in that corner wall?
Quite likely a dwarf wiz.

In that day, not everything was bad
and for that, I'm honestly glad
the flowers did smile
I went to Galveias for a while
and the next class was not had.

The remainder of the day
was spent in dismay
of how terrible and weary
was a place that in theory
could have been a lot more gay.

This is a sample of my daily life,
I do have to put with this tripe
with the subject matter I get aquainted
in a place vomit-yellow painted
FCSH isn't really worth the hype.

At the end of the day I'm going back
and please do cut me some slack
My prospects are meek,
I just want some good sleep
Tomorrow I'll have to re-join the pack.

*I didn't say "good limericks", did I? Also, fuck metric.

Literary Cleanup, book #3

2010-03-08T10:58:00.001Z

O Mistério da Estrada de Sintra – Eça de Queiróz*/Ramalho Ortigão

First off, note that I only scanned the cover of the book I read because I like to have the exact covers I had on these posts. Also, there's the collection of short stories I mentioned. Funnily enough, at 160 pages, this is the longest one. Onwards!

Eça de Queiróz is one of the most notable portuguese writers, if not the most popular novelist. Up until now, I had only read Os Maias, which is required at most high schools, and everybody will tell you what a pain it is to read Os Maias. Those people obviously have no concept of pain. Real pain is Viagens na Minha Terra, and I like Almeida Garrett, so there. The thing is, his writing is incredibly descriptive and sometimes one does feel as if there hasn't been any story for the last 20 pages, just endless accounts of furniture smelling like the first cherry blossoms and women also smelling like something pleasant (and erotic). It says ~~on the tin~~ on the preface that he and Ramalho Ortigão quite hate this book and only published it because they feel that no writer should hide even their most terrible work. Of course, upon reading this, I thought “how pleasant that you say you hate it, that it's below you, but you'll still welcome the money it will make”. Anyway, I really enjoyed this one. And perhaps that is so because it is quite different from his style (I can't speak for Ramalho Ortigão, though); you see, the whole book is comprised of letters that were sent to a newspaper, giving the idea that this story actually happened. And reading each letter, you are caught, enticed by this odd mystery and immediately want to read the next chapter (or letter, in this case). This is the mark of a good mystery/thriller. If it excites your mind, then the pacing is right and your story is indeed intriguing. I quite enjoyed seeing it unravel, little by little, even though I sort of guessed what happened after I read the third (or was it the 4th?) letter.
If you are not a big crime/mystery novel person, you should at least know that it is quite easy to read. It even made me want to change up my reading order so I could get to some more portuguese novelists instead of jumping right onto Neil Gaiman or something of the sort.
A friend of mine mentioned this has a movie, so if you're not willing to try the novel, at least consider the movie, since, as I understand, it has a interesting take on the events.

Excerpt:

Não obstante a disposição em que me achava de ceder da luta e de entrar no trem, perguntei em alemão ao meu amigo se ele era de opinião que resistíssemos ou que nos rendêssemos.
- Rendam-se, rendam-se para nos poupar algum tempo que nos é precioso! - disse gravemente um dos desconhecidos. - Por quem são, acompanhem-nos! Um dia saberão por que motivo lhes saímos ao caminho, mascarados. Damos-lhe a nossa palavra de que amanhã estarão nas suas casas, em Lisboa. Os cavalos ficarão em Sintra daqui a duas horas.
Depois de uma breve relutância, que eu contribuí para desvanecer, o meu companheiro apeou-se e entrou no cupé. Eu segui-o.

*I've always spelled his name that way.

Of grumpy irish men and their thoughts

2010-03-04T07:59:00.001Z

This isn't a recent discovery, by any means, but I feel like talking about it.

In stand up comedy, there are only 3 people I find incredibly funny. Of course, they are all british: Eddie Izzard, Bill Bailey and Dylan Moran. A friend had a trip to Holland recently and after years of ~~badgering~~ gently suggesting he should check him out, he asked me to put some videos on my mp3 player, and I saw this as a fantastic opportunity to addict him to ~~fruit~~ this irish bloke called Dylan Moran.

I only knew who he was because of Black Books, and I love that show quite a lot, I decided to investigate his stand-up comedy only to be amazed at how brilliant it is. He mixes observational humor with surrealism and just a bit of cynicism. I've only seen 2 of his shows, Monster (my favorite) and Like, Totally which you can find on some places. *cough*

Here are some clips:

Literary Cleanup, book #2

2010-03-01T11:44:00.003Z

(now fixed, thanks Zé!)

Sourcery - Terry Pratchett

Third book in the Rincewind series, Sourcery is, so far, my favorite, story-wise. I really liked how the – already quite interesting – premise played out and I also enjoyed seeing more of the Librarian. Also, Conina and...I don't remember his name, but it was the young hero who was only a hero in theory, were quite fun, and I loved seeing their interaction with Rincewind. And I must add that the Seriph's pick up lines were amazing. I will never look at a melon again without thinking it should be jewelled. The book ends on a puzzling note, and I'm really looking forward to the next one, though I have promised myself I wouldn't buy Eric (the next in the series) until I read the rest of my list.

Excerpt:

Without hesitation, Rincewind took a step backwards.
'Over to you, friend,' he said.
'Right!'
Nijel drew his sword and held it out in front of him, his arms trembling at the effort. There were a few seconds of total silence as everyone waited to see what happened next. And then Nijel uttered the battle cry that Rincewind would never quite forget to the end of his life.
'Erm,' he said, 'excuse me...'

Literary Cleanup, book #1

2010-02-25T08:36:00.005Z

First off, I have to say that these were actually the 2nd and 3rd book I read this year, but because I had started The Gun Seller a long time ago and just now had the inclination to finish it, I will not count it for the list.

Book#1

The Light Fantastic - Terry Pratchett

While the image I used looks very nice and neat, my book has seen better days, because he spent almost all of last year in my backpack tumbling around, so it looks twenty years old. I am a bad person. Also, under the title, my book has "A Discworld Novel" instead of the text presented in the image above.

Did I like it? I'd be an ass not to.

Basically, I first came into contact with these books around 2004, when I met one of my best friends, Phelan. He introduced me to it and even lent me The Color of Magic - the first novel in the series - which I didn't get around to reading in full at that time (I probably read about 50 pages). After some time, though, I decided to stop being lazy and buy the book. As per usual, it takes me a while to get into the book (there are some exceptions, but I'll talk about them at another time), but once I do, I really liked it. I couldn't wait to read The Light Fantastic, but because Fnac didn't have it, I bought Guards! Guards! instead. I only purchased this a little bit before my trip to London 2 years ago.

...and yet, it sat in my bag forever, the pages getting folded and torn until the first weeks of this year, when I got around to reading it. It's a really fun book, and one of the few of the series that is a direct continuation of the previous book.

Once again, Rincewind (a ~~wizard~~ failed wizard) and Twoflower (a tourist) get involved in various adventures, even though Rincewind much preferred to be sipping tea in the most boring place in the world. There's several parts in this book and in Sourcery that tell you that he strives for boredom and can't understand why his life has to be so eventful. Still, there's a huge ball of fire about to destroy the Discworld and, somehow, Rincewind and Twoflower have to save it, with the help of a hot chick, a dwarf, a box with legs and one of my favorite characters, Cohen the Barbarian. I didn't expect him to become a favorite, but how can you not love an 87 year old legendary barbarian with no teeth?

I did enjoy this book a bit more than The Color of Magic, but I would still recommend reading them in order. Of course, you can still get the story if you don't, but it's more fun to read the whole thing.

Excerpt:

Then the chieftan turned respectfully to his guest, a small figure carefully warming his chilblains by the fire, and said: 'Our guest, whose name is legend, must tell us truly: what are they that a man may call the greatest things in life?'
'What shay?' he said, toothlessly.
'I said: what are they that a man may call the greatest things in life?'
The warriors leaned closer. This should be worth hearing.
The guest thought long and hard and then said, with deliberation: 'Hot water, good dentishtry and shoft lavatory paper.'

Hitchcocking it up.

2010-02-22T09:49:00.001Z

I'm sorry you had to read that title, but I simply couldn't resist.

Sometimes life brings you great things. Health, security, enough money to buy Lush products or simply a friend that has a full set of Hitchcock movies. I had always been interested in seeing his films, but I kept getting distracted by shiny things. Yes, I am a magpie.

A few months before this, because of a work proposition that never actually worked out, I saw The 39 Steps, which is a really good movie, in my opinion. I really love the chemistry between the two leads and I'm a sucker for a good mistaken identities plot.

Then, because jjnopants is awesome, he let me borrow his 9009242 dvds. I saw Blackmail - which was also very nice, I love Hitchcock's style of filming, the little details he puts into each shot. Also, what's not to love about one of the first british "talkies", in which the main actress (Anny Ondra, who is Czech) had to be dubed over by another actress who basically stood out of shot and spoke into a microphone.

I also saw Rear Window after @amabok recommended it so ferociously. Basically, it was all a ruse so he'd have a reason to gush about how elegant Grace Kelly is. I don't blame him.

Yeah, I know. No, no, it's fine, you can take some time to calm yourself down. Are you okay? Good.

Still, when I managed to wipe his drool off of the monitor, I saw the whole thing and it was amazing. Hands down, one of the best movies I've seen. Funny how Hitchcock created such intrigue using only one set. You stay in the main character's apartment for the whole film and not once does it become boring. In fact, you get more and more tense as you wait for an answer to the mystery. And I love Grace Kelly's character and how defiant she is, contrasting with James Stewart's cockyness and cynical overview of other people.

I recommend either of these three movies - particularly Rear Window - to anyone who wants to get acquainted with one of the best film-makers in history.

Literary Challenge, zee overview.

2010-02-18T07:03:00.003Z

This will be a pain to write down, but here is a list of all the books I have. Note the following: borrowed books are in green, and entries marked with an * are the english version of that particular novel. The striked ones are obviously the ones I've already read (the ones with a link pointing to a blog post and with a note saying "read on LC" are the ones pertaining to this challenge). Also, titles will be on the right and authors on the left.

1984 - George Orwell*

A Casa e o Cheiro dos Livros - Maria do Rosário Pereira
A Causa das Coisas - Miguel Esteves Cardoso
A Laodicean - Thomas Hardy*
~~A Queda Dum Anjo - Camilo Castelo Branco~~ [read on LC]
A Tela Humana - Saki [short story compilation, no idea about the english title]

American Hero - Larry Beinhart*

Anansi Boys - Neil Gaiman*
Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
~~Aparição - Vergílio Ferreira~~
Assassin's Touch - Laura Joh Rowland*
Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
~~Cartas a Sandra - Vergílio Ferreira~~ [read on LC]
Confessions of a Mask - Yukio Mishima*
Contos do Gin-Tonic - Mário Henrique Leiria
~~Daisy Miller- Henry James~~ [read on LC]
Death in Venice - Thomas Mann
Death in the Clouds - Agatha Christie*
Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency - Douglas Adams*
Dracula's Guest and Other Weird Stories - Bram Stoker
Dubliners - James Joyce*

Era bom que trocássemos umas ideias sobre o assunto - Mário de Carvalho

Fanny Owen - Agustina Bessa Luís
~~Fazes-me Falta - Inês Pedrosa~~
Guards! Guards! - Terry Pratchett*
Halloween Party - Agatha Christie*
Histórias Extraordinárias - Edgar Allen Poe [short story compilation, no idea about the english title]

Hocus Pocus - Kurt Vonnegut*

~~Homely Girl - Arthur Miller~~
In Cold Blood - Truman Capote
Light in August - William Faulkner
~~Manhã Submersa - Vergílio Ferreira~~
Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden*
Memorial do Convento - José Saramago
Mort - Terry Pratchett*
Mulher: enigma psico-sexual - Pierre Vachet

Native Tongue - Carl Hiaasen*

Nightfall - Isaac Asimov
Ninguém Morre Sozinho - Daniel Sampaio
O Anjo Ancorado - José Cardoso Pires
~~O Barão - Branquilho da Fonseca~~ [read on LC]
O Dia Cinzento (antologia) - Mário Dionísio
O Existencialismo é um Humanismo - Vergílio Ferreira
~~O Mistério da Estrada de Sintra - Eça de Queiróz e Ramalho Ortigão~~ [read on LC]
Olhos nos Olhos - Júlio Machado Vaz
~~Os Mares do Sul - Manuel Vázquez Montalbán~~ [read on LC]
~~Os Meus Problemas - Miguel Esteves Cardoso~~

O sono, modo de usar - Dra. Françoise Delormas [no idea who gave me this one]

~~Romeo And Juliet - William Shakespeare~~
Silas Marner - George Eliot*
~~Sophie's World - Jostein Gaarder~~
Sourcery - Terry Pratchett* [read on LC]
Stupid White People - Michael Moore
Sócrates, um filósofo bastardo - F. Cabral Pinto
The Big Four - Agatha Christie*
~~The Call of the Wild - Jack London~~ [read on LC]
The Canterville Ghost - Oscar Wilde
The Color of Magic - Terry Pratchett*
The Complete Works of Oscar Wilde - Oscar Wilde*
The Cradle Will Fall - Mary Higgins Clark
The God of Mischief - Paul Bajoria*
The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald

The Greatest Show on Earth - Robert Rankin*

The Gun Seller - Hugh Laurie*
The Horse and His Boy - C.S. Lewis*
The Island of Doctor Moreau - H.G. Wells
The Kreutzer Sonata - Leo Tolstoy

The Light Fantastic - Terry Pratchett* [read on LC]

The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis*
The Loved One - Evelyn Waugh
The Magician's Nephew - C.S. Lewis*
~~The Metamorphosis - Franz Kafka~~
The Name of the Rose - Umberto Eco
~~The Princess - D.H. Lawrence~~ [read on LC]
The Printers' Devil - Paul Bajoria*
The Red Badge of Courage - Stephen Crane*
The Thirteen Problems - Agatha Christie *
The Unbearable Lightness of Being - Milan Kundera
~~The Virgin Suicides - Jeffrey Eugenides~~
The Wooden Leg of Inspector Anders - Marshall Browne*
Todos os fogos o fogo - Julio Cortázar
~~Tom Sawyer, Detective~~ - Mark Twain [read on LC]
~~Treasure Island - Robert Louis Stevenson~~
Tropic of Cancer - Henry Miller
Tudo o Que Temos Cá Dentro - Daniel Sampaio
Werther - Goethe

(thanks, Alphabetizer, for making this so much easier on me)

As you can't see, I haven't got that many books to begin with. Also, the bulk of those (mainly the short stories and a few books by portuguese authors) are my mother's and not mine, but since she doesn't really want them, they have made my shelf their new home. So, my goal this year is to get them all down, but I know I will have big hurdles (like Werther and Olhos nos Olhos, both of which I started by then got bored and never finished). All in all, I think I can read most of these even though, in a month and a half, I only read 2 books. Let's see how it goes.

50 books? Woah there, I barely know how to read.

2010-02-14T20:55:00.001Z

(THIS UPDATE WAS MADE IN A TIMELY MANNER.)

So, ever since I found out about a community on livejournal called 50 book challenge , I've tried many times to, and this will surprise you, do the 50 book challenge. This was one of the attempts. Of course, as you can see, I didn't finish it. Not by a long shot-- even though, I have to say, I didn't read only 5 books. This is the full list of stuff I read pertaining to the challenge:

Native Tongue
The Canterville Ghost
The Smile at the Foot of the Ladder
Lord Arthur Saville's Crime
The Haunted House (and other stories)
The Thirteen Problems
Homely Girl: A Life and Other Stories
Treasure Island
The Color of Magic
Lunário
Memoirs of a Geisha
Guards! Guards!

Seeing this list makes me think that I haven't done that bad (particularly because I'm sure I have forgotten a couple of books) but 12 books in a year isn't something to be satisfied with. Particularly when I realize how much time I waste on youtube/tv shows/cheesy asian dramas. And this all stems from the fact that reading a book requires a bit more effort than standing in front of the pc while STUFF happens. So I'm picking this up again, just to see where I can go with it. Or how much I can fail at it.

This time, however, I am renaming the challenge. I thought about You Can't Buy Any Books Until You've Read What You Have on Your Shelf Challenge, but that was too long; Books was too short, so I came up with Literary Cleanup.*

But why I am blogging it? Well, for the exact same reason I originally created That's So Book! : I have a very crappy memory, so I'd like to have my thoughts on the books written down, so I can recall some details I may otherwise forget. This time, I am making things easier for me, so no 40 page essay will be required. There are some books that I simply don't have anything to comment on, even though I really liked them. Also, I will note if I have read a certain book in portuguese or in english via...err...something. I will take care of that later.

Let me ask you all, though...are any of you doing a similar project?

*You have to excuse the overuse of capitals, but ever since Guards! Guards! they have become so much ~~fnu~~ fun to abuse.

The Revenge of the Hi, My, Sweetheart Recap

2010-01-21T06:55:00.004Z

Why hello there, episode 11. How do you do? Only two episodes left, after this, so do not disappoint me, tv show!

A fun fact to start you off: the main actress' stage name, Rainie Yang, came about because she was in a girl group where all the girls had weather-themed names. But if she was Rainie, what were the other members called? Your answer: Sunnie, Cloudie and Windie. Nope, I'm not kidding.

We start off with Bao Chu announcing to her listeners that tomorrow is Valentine's Day and then immediately cut away to Old Aunt arguing with a customer over toilets (which, btw, is what her huge empire is built on; no, I'm not kidding). Proof:

Yep. After this, her love interest, Some Guy, arrives and he calms her down ~~with his sweet lovin'~~ and asks her out...on a walk so they can see the sunset.

Aww, isn't that--wait, where's the sunset? Judging by the light it looks like 4 in the afternoon. Perhaps they are in the swedish part of Taiwan.

I will not lie, this sequence is pretty cute. He convinces her to let her guard down and to just live her life and stop worrying so much about the company.

Well, it kinda looks like a sunset...at 4pm. Still, it's a sweet moment seeing her realize that the only thing he cares about is being with her.
Meanwhile, at Hsueh Hai's house, Bao Chu suddenly appears for a visit.

And this is bad because he didn't go to work today so he could try to figure out what to do next about her, since she did explain some of the things he didn't know about their break up, but he still can't understand why she left that note. For those of you just joining us: it was a note she wrote to her mom saying she wouldn't be with Lin Da Lung and that she would marry a rich guy; the note was written so her mum wouldn't come looking for her while she went to Lin Da Lung so they could elope. Of course, because of her accident, Hsueh Hai never got to see her again, and her note was left unexplained.

Back to his house. He freaks out but Slutty Aunt has a plan. Let the girl in, and when you're talking to her, if you get in a pinch, I'll help. How?

Via bluetooth. If he doesn't know how to answer one of her questions, Slutty Aunt, who is listening in, will instruct him on how to respond. Of course, this means he'll spend the whole conversation facing away from her.

Like so.
We find that she didn't come to visit out of concern. No, she wants him to find Da Lung again, because she still has some things she wants to say. However, he doesn't want that to happen, so she tells her Lin Da Lung doesn't want to see her again. And Slutty Aunt chimes in.

Which causes him to say this instead:

Slutty Aunt, your thoughts?

Couldn't agree more.
Bao Chu is confused, but he explains that Lin Da Lung is still hurt because of the note she left. Slowly, she recalls writing the fake message and finally understands his anger. "If I were the one who saw it,

She tells Hsueh Hai that it was her who wrote the note, but doesn't explain why. After his insistence, she says

...and it's weirdly phrased, but who cares about that, anyway. ~~She is to talk in emotion.~~ She's emotional. Slutty Aunt gets teary-eyed and Hsueh Hai feels like a douchenozzle.

As he should. He agrees to help her "find" Lin Da Lung again, but when she leaves, Slutty Aunt tells him that he must make her forget Da Lung forever, otherwise, he will lose her. I.e., he can't tell her he's Lin Da Lung, which doesn't frustrate me because it does make sense that, at this point, he would keeping lying instead of saying "hey, you know your boss? that guy you utterly hate? well, he and your one true love are the same person! High five?"

Next day, over lunch, Old Aunt conjures a plan to make Pretty Girl and Hsueh Hai spend time together.

Of course, it's REALLY SUBTLE, but even so, the both of them remain poised. Hsueh Hai agrees to have dinner with her that evening.
At the studio, Bao Chu plans to join Pony Tail Man and People Who Work At The Ice Cream Shop to make up for having ditched them on her birthday (the day she met Da Lung again). She starts her programme normally, but then a call comes in that makes her stop completely.

I will always like how Show Lo (the actor who plays Hsueh Hai) can quickly go from being Da Lung (overbite and all) to Hsueh Hai.
He tells Bao Chu Jie to come and meet him at 4pm (she would still be doing her show, making this slightly more difficult for her), but she says fuck this to everything and runs out to meet him. When she arrives to the bridge, and even after some delays, she meets

Mr. Douche. Fabulous. Hsueh Hai tells her that it was impossible for Da Lung to come because he has some "inconvenient reasons". Da Lung...

This reminds me of a friend of mine who shared his attraction for a coworker and then added "she has this issue, though, she has a problem on her hand..." and, hearing this, I immediately thought she had some sort of horrific disease, I asked "really? the poor thing! what is it?" "a wedding ring.". It seems Da Lung also this terrible sickness, but that doesn't convince Bao Chu. Surely, it's a lie.

...and, as we all no, photos don't lie. (See: most dramas that use manipulated pictures as a plot device)
This information turns her into a crying mess. I don't blame her, after all, her truest of tru wuvs is married ~~to some skanky bitch~~ .

IT'S TRULY PUZZLING.
Hsueh Hai starts to feel bad about doing this, but he must make her forget Lin Da Lung in order to make her fall in love with him, as Hsueh Hai.
It's now night time, and Pony Tail Man and his minions are left waiting for Bao Chu. In the same exact restaurant, Pretty Girl gets up from her table, because she realizes Hsueh Hai isn't coming.

Pony Tail Man stops her and invites her to his table. There, some PLOT happens as she learns Bao Chu Jie is working at Hsueh Hai's radio station, and, apparently, she hasn't seen Lin Da Lung in three years...even though he's her boss.

You'd think that this would be a "aaah!" moment, but as we'll see later on, she doesn't really catch on quick.
At Bao Chu's house, she opens up her shoebox full of Da Lung memories, and asks Hsueh Hai to deliver the Pink Panther she once received from Da Lung back to him.

Is now the time to make a "hehe, I WOULD SAY YOU ARE QUITE FIT!" joke? No? Okay.
He drives home crying, thinking he's an absolute bastard who doesn't deserve a girl like that. No arguments in his defence? Case closed, then. He then runs into Pretty Girl who reminds him that he missed their dinner. He tries to excuse himself by saying he was busy with work.

"Is it a Valentine's Day present?", she asks, and before he can reply she's all "I know you still love Bao Chu, so fuck off!".

And he does.
Next morning, Bao Chu is nowhere to be found. Where is she? Radio Secretary has the scoop:

For reference, that's the place where she and Hsueh met.
Obviously, because this episode hasn't had enough running, he runs after her. Of course, he finds her at the university. And now, it's flashback galore, because she is going to revive all her memories with Da Lung and then

she'll bury everything. The next scenes are just her reliving several moments they had together one last time, while Hsueh Hai watches on.

Yeah, you totally missed it. It's not behind you looking miserable or anything. The reason why this recap hasn't been as silly as the previous ones is simple: we're getting to the point where's more about story and less about farting. And, honestly, I'm liking it.

He tells her that fate took a Da Lung from her, so one day, she'll get a Da Lung back. I do call him douche a lot, but you can really feel his conflicted emotions in this episode. He doesn't want to do this, either because he doesn't her to forget or he simply can't forgive himself for making her suffer this much. But also doesn't want to lose her by being constantly compared to the (almost saintly) Da Lung. He wants to have a chance, even though he knows he can never be as good as he was as Da Lung.

The next day, she gets home and even though Hsueh Hai offers to drive her to her house, she insists on being alone. Next time we see her, she's walking very slowly towards her house, where Pony Tail Man is waiting for her.

Her faint is a bit melodramatic, but what can you do. They really want to make you understand how empty she feels.
Pony Tail Man sits beside her until morning. When she wakes up, she eventually tells him the reason behind her sadness: Da Lung is married. He's a bit puzzled by this information, because he is already suspicious of Hsueh Hai, but he goes with it. Until, that is, he meets with a Guy From a Company.

He goes on to Tell Pony Tail man how dorky Hsueh Hai used to be. "Big black glasses and a mushroom head". This sure rings a bell. BUT HE STILL CAN'T KNOW FOR SURE. I mean, that would ruin the whole suspense, whatever that word means.
Meanwhile, Hsueh Hai and Bao Chu are having dinner because, after he tried courting her like normal, she said "no you don't" and he said "is that how you treat a friend that has helped you through tough times?"...and that worked. Huh. Interesting. Unfortunately, Hsueh Hai asks for the *exact* same meal he did the first time he had dinner with her (as Da Lung). She freaks out, and runs away.
He runs after her. I should have made a drinking game for this. Every time someone runs, you take a swig, every time Hsueh Hai is running after Bao Chu, you have to down your whole drink. Additionally: if the Pink Panther theme plays, you have to drink a whole bottle. Of rice wine. Yes, I'm evil.

Even though this is a creative pick-up line, it doesn't work with Bao Chu, and she fucks off once again. This time, however, he doesn't follow her.
Meanwhile, Pony Tail Man figures a huge mystery out.

Hsueh Hai is Da Lang. What? You *aren't* surprised? What do you mean, "we've known this since the first episode" and "he knows this since episode 9"? Oh, I see. Uuuh, he's not the sharpest crayon in the box, is he? Incidentally, after googling to confirm if it was "sharpest crayon in the box" or "sharpest pencil in the box" (apparently both can be used), I found this website: 100 ways to say "Not the brightest..." . Did you hear that noise? It was me, bookmarking that wonderful link.

Pony Tail Man confronts Hsueh Hai. Even though he's a few sausages short of a BBQ. (Thanks, website!)

Oh shut it, go and learn something new!

Well, that works, I guess.
Meanwhile, Pony Tail Man and Hsueh Hai are figthing.

POW!

BIFF!

HUH?
I don't really get what they are doing in the last one. A teeth fight?

Cut to Bao Chu looking pissed.

THE END.

I wasn't kidding, it really ended there. The preview showed Bao Chu kicking some Hsueh Hai ass, a fire and more crying/brooding. I'm actually looking forward to it! Though I did read in the comments something that annoyed me: it's quite possible that after the huge fire the preview hints at, Hsueh Hai will lose his memory/be in a coma. PLEASE, don't do this, Hi, My Sweetheart. The Hana Yori Dango version was already too much to swallow.

Another Hi, My Sweetheart Recap

2010-01-18T07:42:00.001Z

Hi folks, it's that time again...yes, it's time to completely ignore the text and laugh at the pictures, because I've watched another Hi, My Sweetheart episode. This time, it's number 10. Three things:

I know these recaps are quite long, but keep in mind that each episode is one full hour of content (for the dvds, I've read, they're breaking the episodes apart to make 25, shorter episodes)
The cap quality is shit because I watch this on youtube, via ost1nao . Now, I could actually find raws or something, but no one is reading this anyway, so I don't need the prettiest screencaps ever. It works with shitty quality ones, I think
I write down my impressions as I'm watching the episode, so most of the time, you get my immediate reaction, though I may add more thoughts later, if I feed the need to. Also, forgive my spelling of Hsueh Hai's and Bao Chu's names, because until now, I had no idea it was actually Xue Hai/Da Lang and Bao Zhu. Still, I will keep spelling them the incorrect way...well, because the subtitles use that spelling too, and I don't want to get confused and write HSUEX HAL or something.

Onwards!

This is more creepy than any haunted house episode I've seen in a drama/anime - and trust me, that means I've seen more unimpressive stories about ghosts to last me a lifetime.
Miss Sweetheart's stalker fan drives the cab in a maniac fashion, and meanwhile, still following them, Hsueh Hai steps on the break

with his fabulous shoes.
She tries to call Pony Tail Man so he can save her from the crazy man, but Insane Stalker is having none of it and throws her mobile out of the window. Then there are some dramatic car sounds (breaking, and that iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiihhh sound that cars make when they are turning too fast), and Bao Chu manages to grab the wheel hard enough so that the car is launched in the air spinning. Oh, asian dramas.

Don't you just love how nonchalant he is? "Eh, I've seen better accidents involving the girl I truly love. Now, where is that shoe polish?"
He watches on, still looking like he could care less, as Insane Stalker gets out of the car and runs away. Then, he remembers that he's supposed to care enough for the girl to get upset and storms out of his car.

AND THEN THE CAR EXPLODES FOR NO REASON. WITH THE TINIEST EXPLOSION EVER. Don't you just want to cuddle with that explosion?
It reminds me of those clouds in Windwaker that appear after Link has killed something (as illustrated by the first minute of this video). Anyway, I wonder what happens next?

Explain to me why people always stand way close to a fire and then do that same gesture only to sloooowly put their arm down. ~Uncool people look at explosions/they use their arms to show their emotions~ And yes, we're treated to the screaming in slow motion sequence. Hsueh Hai quivers his lip like someone who's only pretending to cry.

Oh, of COURSE she isn't dead! Stop being surprised.

Move on to another drama where the female lead stayed alive?
I do find this scene touching, though. Even with the guitar riff in the background. She walks away because she is imagining him as Da Lang. He runs after her, and finally, they kiss in a normal way.

If by normal you mean "with Pony Tail Man almost watching from afar", then yes, normal.
But because stuff like this always has a price, she slaps him in order to show her disgust. In reality, she's trying to stay away from him, because she's falling in love with a person who looks and feels like Da Lung, but isn't him. We all know what's wrong with that line of thinking, but hell, let's roll with it. She runs away, only to be stopped by Pony Tail Man.

...err...WHAT? Rainie Love? For the record, the main actress is called Rainie Yang. (ETA: Oh, it's actually intentional. And it's Rainie singing...the song...called Rainie Love. Yeah, I still don't quite get it. Fun fact: Show Lo sings the catchy intro tune, which translates as "head over heels in love") That really confused me.
He hugs her, takes her home and mends her wounds. And then he goes batshit.

I half-expected him to say "I'm Rick James, bitch".
He ~~asks~~ ~~begs~~ yells like a crazy person so she stops seeing Hsueh Hai and forgets about Lin Da Lung. She decides to do what he asked, so as to prolong this drama a little bit more.
Meanwhile, Hsueh Hai gets home and his older aunt goes batshit because he is still very in love with Bao Chu, and last time she heard, Bao Chu was the girl who broke his heart and made him change into the douche he is today.

I can understand why she's mad.

While brooding in his room with a pink thermos, he realizes that he shouldn't have put his guard down, and that he's weak. So now, it seems that everything is against them being together. He wants revenge for being left, his aunt doesn't want him to date Bao Chu again, Bao Chu herself has decided to try to forget her great love and stay away from Hsueh Hai and Pony Tail Man just wants to open a can whoopass on someone.

The next day, Older Aunt decides to visit the radio to lay some whoopass of her own.
They talk, and in a genius move, after Older Aunt offers her money to stay away from Hsueh Hai, Bao Chu asks for 100 million ZLOTIS (I must explain: in any situation where a lot of money is involved, I use ZLOTIS as a currency). She then writes out a CHECK for that amount. Okay, Bao Chu take it and leave!

Why so mad?

*facepalm* If the check was for SAUSAGES I bet you would take it. Ugh, such an inconsistent girl.

Yep, I don't get it either. You can give me the money if you want. I'm in Portugal and you are in a fictional series, so I'd do great in with the whole "staying away from Hsueh Hai" thing. No? I'm talking to myself? Right, moving on.

She finds Pony Tail Man and offers him a coffee...and then proceeds to tell him who Hsueh Hai really is. Kinda. She tells him everything except "HE IS LIN DA LUNG, FOR PETE'S SAKE", because even Pony Tail Man has a brain.

Somewhere else, Hsueh and Bao Chu continue to play cat and mouse, we see more flashbacks and then he tells her that

to which she replies:

Tell me that this doesn't sound a tad crazy? Maybe it's just me, but when Santa asks "what do you want for Christmas", I don't say "PEOPLE". I should watch that movie. Hm. Moving on!
He agrees to help her find Lin Da Lung, and asks "what does he look like", to which I say "OH DEAR GOD JUST TELL HER ALREADY. YOU PEOPLE ARE KILLING ME!". But Bao Chu isn't phased, and after describing him as having "a pair of beautiful eyes" and "a cute mouth", along with other generic characteristics, she decides to graffiti his face. Yeah.

I will not lie. Seeing him like this made me feel sorry for him, because he's obviously fighting his feelings and at the same time he's so touched that she still remembers every little detail.

PLEASE JUST GET IT OVER WITH. I'M DYING, HERE.
Honestly, for how much I make fun of it, this is one of the best dramas I've seen, because this scene could have been incredibly sappy and cliche, but it really wasn't. It does makes me curious for how this will unfold, because I believe she'll want to kill him after she learns the truth.

Oh, this is a turn of events. Older Aunt, Slutty Aunt and Hsueh Hai are having lunch and look who suddenly arrives

it's Pretty Girl! You know, the one who liked him in college but was still "beat" by the outcast, Bao Chu Jie. I don't recall the other girl very well, but I think she's one of the two broads in her pretty girl posse. I can already tell I'm going to hate the conflict she'll bring to these last few episodes, if they decide to go for the "other girl" route. Of course, Older Aunt loves her and is already starting to push a marriage between them.

YES. So pick up your plot device and GFTO.
To me, this is a bit disappointing. I was expecting this drama to not have the "last chance for conflict". I remember My Girl using an incredibly lame misunderstanding to drive the couple apart for the last 2 episodes, for no reason other than stretching things out. This can work well - Hana Yori Dango, or the korean version of it - but it has to be a bit smoother, story-wise. You can't just crowbar a love interest in.

Oh, isn't it wonderful when a guy can do more than adjust his sack? For most dramas, this is usually when a guy plays an instrument, which, more often than not, is the piano. And then, for no reason...

Older Aunt and Some Guy ~~get freaky~~ flirt over coffee. I don't really have much to say about that, so onwards to Pony Tail Man who is working on Bao Chu's present, because tomorrow is her birthday.

Really, Pony Tail Man? TELL ME MORE. I love how FASCINATED they are with something that's been around since the beginning of the XXI century. I expect next episode to have them fawning over an Ipod. Btw, those INCREDIBLY BRIGHT kids are the employees of Pony Tail Man's ice cream shop, where Bao Chu Jie was a manager for a while. Still, this wasn't even the best part of this sequence.

This was. BL FLW. (Decipher this if you want.)
Back to Older Aunt and Some Guy.

Aww. I wonder what he's thinking.

"That means you want me inside you, right?"

"Uuuuuhhh..." (The funniest thing about this is these two frames were within seconds of each other and had no dialogue.)

"My bad, my bad. I'd still tap you, though."

And then he confesses that he's loved her since forever, but because she was rich and he wasn't, he kept away. I WONDER HOW THIS MATTERS TO THE STORY. HMMM. Anyway, they're about to do...

something, but

COCKBLOCK'D!
Oh Slutty Aunt, you rascal. After that, Older Aunt is all like

How much do you want to bet that her makeover will involve a dress, extensions and high heels?

Oh, I guess I was wrong. It's just a cheap 20's flapper wig. IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE. Later, she does put on a dress and high heels, but, inexplicably, keeps her ridiculous hair. But Some Guy likes it, so who are we to argue? And then ~~they fucked~~ it fades out to the cat and mouse game again. He runs after her, she runs away, we get a flashback from LAST EPISODE, etc etc. And out of nowhere (and presumably after contacting a good costume designer via livejournal) Hsueh Hai appears

...as Lin Da Lung. First question: how did he get the mushroom hair back? He runs away, she runs after him, and after discovering what happened, Pony Tail Man runs after them. With all this running, we could be in Doctor Who.

She tells him this, but he STILL DOESN'T TELL HER HE'S HSUEH HAI. ARGH ARGH. I'm sorry, I know it's supposed to be like this, but it frustrates me.

This, however, makes me happy.
There's nothing funny about the next few scenes, because it's mostly about FEELINGS AND STUFF. He kinda gives in, because she may not have lied, she may still love him, but no, that's not possible, so he runs away (thank god China is big, so these people have a lot of space to run) and hides from her, while screams at him to come back.

He thinks to himself that she may be telling the truth. REALLY? How quick of you to notice that's she fucking head over heels in love. And yet, he still leaves her crying for him. YOU ASS! You absolute, utter ass.

The next morning he is with his aunts, visibly distraught, but doesn't really explain why. And, at the studio, Pretty Girl appears, making Pony Tail Man realize that he has the upper hand. ~~And possibly a piece of Bao Chu Jie's ass.~~ Because there's nothing more convenient than a holiday made for selling useless stuff, tomorrow is Valentine's Day...and suddenly the episode ends.

That was quick. Anyway, next episode, she finally gets angry because he didn't tell her he was Da Lung.

This is awesome.

2010-01-15T09:23:00.004Z

A couple of days ago, my handler was generous enough to let me go out and be a normal person for a few hours. I hated most of it, until, that is, I was getting out of the subway and I saw an ad that cheered me up immediately.

Usually, the Wall Street Institute does have ads with puns on badly spoken english, but this is, without a doubt, their best work. Look:

They hired Zezé Camarinha! For those of you who are clueless (and not 1)my friends 2)portuguese 3)people who---wait, if you are not my friend and portuguese why are you here? GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN) about this person, he's a guy that got famous for appearing in a news bit about the "portuguese gigolo". He explained his game - which he only used on foreign women* - to the cameras and it included stuff like:

"Why you so white? You must put some-a cream!"
"Darling, put-a [portuguese peeps, get your mind out of the gutter] cream number five!"

Yeah, in my mind, he's Super Mario. Anyway, he became a big national ~~joke~~ treasure (?) and everyone quotes his pick-up lines, even though his been a real long time since then that news piece. Anyway, Wall Street Institute decided that the best way to get people to learn english with them is hire Zezé.

In my mind, it's an incredibly genius move, if only for the hundreds of folks who will once again ask about cream in a silly voice. For more info, quizzes and endless Camarinha goodness, check out their website: http://talktozeze.com/

*Because, really, only foreign women on holiday would fall for his bullshit. And they would have to be very drunk. AND BLIND.