Swan dive!

So, we're all familiar with this:



...right? If you aren't, this is one of the best ads Old Spice has ever done. And that's saying a lot. I mean, they had Bruce Campbell working for them at one point.

They've produced a couple more ads, like this one (if you watch it, you'll understand the title of this post) and this one (which is apparently nominated for an Emmy). In any case, that isn't what made me write this up.

Oh no. The interesting thing about this whole Old Spice Man craze is that the company itself is putting an insanely large amount of videos out on their channel. Why? To reply to questions made via twitter. He even replied to 4chan. Nope, I'm not kidding:




Pure brilliance. Even funnier is this one, in which a user requests for help in proposing to his girlfriend:




I always crack up when they bring the candles in.

You can check out their channel for more video replies. I'm so glad they are letting Old Spice Man share his wisdom. After all, he's on a horse.

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That's Gay.

I found my new favorite thing on Youtube - well, aside from Shaytards and Overthegun:




That's Gay is part of Infomania, a satirical news series provided by Current. Anyway, all of that is less important if you consider the fact that Bryan Safi - the host - can actually make some of the most offensive bullshit I've ever heard into something so ridiculous you question why it exists in the first place. Case in point:



The first time I heard that "no homo" was an actual...saying, I was quite outraged. In fact, if I ever hear someone say this in real life, I might permanently affect their ability to produce offspring. Still, when you see the clip and realize how incredibly stupid it is to announce that you aren't a homosexual in the most random situations, one has to laugh at the insecurity that originated that. It's like talking about vegetables and then saying "NO VEGAN". It reminds me of something Eddie Izzard said in Unrepeatable:

So there’s a lot of gay and lesbian people around, and that’s groovy, and they have – what they’ve done is they separated sex and sexuality from what you do for a living. So you work in a bookshop? Okay, you’re good at selling books, you get on well with the customers? That’s what’s important, not who you sleep with or not. ‘Cause in the old days, they used to say, “Oh, you’re gay… You sell books? You probably shag the books! Yes, I’m sure! So we fire you for no reason at all…”

Okay, I just have to link one more:



Yep, completely logical arguments.

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What, what?

In the butt, obviously.

As if I needed more reasons to like the Queens of the Stone Age/Josh Homme, here's the acoustic version of that lovely classic, What What (In the Butt):



What what (in the butt) is not only a question but it needs an answer, and the answer is let's do it the butt, okay.

Wise words, Mr. Homme.

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Hitchcocking it up.

I'm sorry you had to read that title, but I simply couldn't resist.

Sometimes life brings you great things. Health, security, enough money to buy Lush products or simply a friend that has a full set of Hitchcock movies. I had always been interested in seeing his films, but I kept getting distracted by shiny things. Yes, I am a magpie.

A few months before this, because of a work proposition that never actually worked out, I saw The 39 Steps, which is a really good movie, in my opinion. I really love the chemistry between the two leads and I'm a sucker for a good mistaken identities plot.

Then, because jjnopants is awesome, he let me borrow his 9009242 dvds. I saw Blackmail - which was also very nice, I love Hitchcock's style of filming, the little details he puts into each shot. Also, what's not to love about one of the first british "talkies", in which the main actress (Anny Ondra, who is Czech) had to be dubed over by another actress who basically stood out of shot and spoke into a microphone.

I also saw Rear Window after @amabok recommended it so ferociously. Basically, it was all a ruse so he'd have a reason to gush about how elegant Grace Kelly is. I don't blame him.



Yeah, I know. No, no, it's fine, you can take some time to calm yourself down. Are you okay? Good.

Still, when I managed to wipe his drool off of the monitor, I saw the whole thing and it was amazing. Hands down, one of the best movies I've seen. Funny how Hitchcock created such intrigue using only one set. You stay in the main character's apartment for the whole film and not once does it become boring. In fact, you get more and more tense as you wait for an answer to the mystery. And I love Grace Kelly's character and how defiant she is, contrasting with James Stewart's cockyness and cynical overview of other people.

I recommend either of these three movies - particularly Rear Window - to anyone who wants to get acquainted with one of the best film-makers in history.

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This is awesome.

A couple of days ago, my handler was generous enough to let me go out and be a normal person for a few hours. I hated most of it, until, that is, I was getting out of the subway and I saw an ad that cheered me up immediately.

Usually, the Wall Street Institute does have ads with puns on badly spoken english, but this is, without a doubt, their best work. Look:



They hired Zezé Camarinha! For those of you who are clueless (and not 1)my friends 2)portuguese 3)people who---wait, if you are not my friend and portuguese why are you here? GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN) about this person, he's a guy that got famous for appearing in a news bit about the "portuguese gigolo". He explained his game - which he only used on foreign women* - to the cameras and it included stuff like:

"Why you so white? You must put some-a cream!"
"Darling, put-a [portuguese peeps, get your mind out of the gutter] cream number five!"

Yeah, in my mind, he's Super Mario. Anyway, he became a big national joke treasure (?) and everyone quotes his pick-up lines, even though his been a real long time since then that news piece. Anyway, Wall Street Institute decided that the best way to get people to learn english with them is hire Zezé.

In my mind, it's an incredibly genius move, if only for the hundreds of folks who will once again ask about cream in a silly voice. For more info, quizzes and endless Camarinha goodness, check out their website: http://talktozeze.com/


*Because, really, only foreign women on holiday would fall for his bullshit. And they would have to be very drunk. AND BLIND.

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