On American commercials

Get Prevacid, and your second marriage will happen sooner than you think! WOO! Also, there was a commercial in which a father and a daughter were in a diner and this ensued:

dad: hey, you should eat this NEW LOW CAL SANDWICH, it's only *insert number of calories here*
daughter: oh daddy, now I know where I get my smarts from
dad: no, pumpkin, you get that from your mum!
both: *incredibly fake laughter*

WAT.

So, kids, this is what we've learned: curing heartburn will get you a lasting relationship and enforcing restrictive eating habits early on will win you points with your (now calorie-counting) daughter.