Monday, 20 June 2011

Victory of the Daleks - Doctor Who s5e3 recap

Hello thar, Church. “Time to roll out the secret weapon.”

I'd be more surprised if it wasn't for the end of last episode.

“Oh, stop it, Winston, I said I'm committed!” #IfIwroteDoctorWho

It's the army's new secret weapon. Oh yeah, this will TOTALLY end well.

This reminds me...does the BBC have the original sketches – if there were any – of the Daleks? Amy doesn't remember the Daleks. This is somehow weird, even though we've established before that people have a very short memory about aliens.

A Dalek just offered someone tea. I spat my lunch laughing.

The Doctor is trying to convince everyone that the Daleks are evil but no one is paying attention because of Amy's terribly short skirt. At least, that's what I assume.

You know, when 9 was cruel to a Dalek in the first season, I felt for him. And even though I know the Daleks are evil I just look at this one and think “he's mental”.

And then they activate. And transmit the message that they've found the Doctor to a Dalek ship. Oh, jolly.

Scientist guy: “I've created you!”
Daleks: “No, we've created you.”

The Doctor then fucks off on his own, leaving Amy in the safety of...World War II.

He threatens the Daleks with the TARDIS self-destruct that...a biscuit?

The Daleks do manage to use that DNA to create some new Daleks before the Doctor can activate his biscuit.

Go, go DALEK RANGEEEEEEEEEERS! Mighty-obliterating-the-universe Dalek rangers!

Aside from being bulky motherfuckers, they are also kind of nazi Daleks, as they destroy the other ones because they weren't “pure” enough. IT'S SYMBOLIC.

Dalek Rangers: “Self-destruct device non-existent.”
Doctor: “Alright, alright, it's a Jammie Dodger!”

So, Ash Bishop Scientist Android Guy makes use of his (borrowed) intelligence and builds some ships to fight the Daleks. Kinda looks like Star Wars.

So the ships manage to destroy the huge LAZOR that is keeping London all lit up, and then the Doctor orders them to destroy the Dalek spaceship.

The catch being that they will detonate the android and it will blow up the Earth. However, if the Doctor lets them go, they come back stronger than ever, since they are a new, more powerful race of Daleks. Of course, the Doctor chooses to save Earth. “His compassion is his greatest weakness. The Doctor failed.”

Iron Posh British Man!

...who doesn't blow up because of WUV. Sounds like one of my stories.

The Daleks disappear. The Batman crack has something to do with this, I'm sure.

Epic music plays because THE BRITISH ARE ZEE BEST. Or something. No, it's totally about the war. Not about the residual empire-like feeling they have. No, totally not that.

They let the android run away. He might be useful in a future season or something. As you can tell by the laconic recap, this episode has been a bit uninteresting to me.


Fuck watching the preview. So, next time: who knows what will happen, because I don't want to be totally spoiled by a preview again.