Monday, 11 July 2011

Vampires of Venice - Doctor Who s5e6 recap

Prepare for one of the longest recaps yet. Also, gifs courtesy of rightclick5ave @ LJ, via the Doctor Who community.

Venice, apparently. And since I know the title of this is “Vampires of Venice”...oh, look, it's Twilight. If it was good. Or interesting. Or not written by someone who obviously has some issues with strong-willed women. Or something.

He's begging Totally Not a Vampire lady to take his daughter because she has no future at the moment, since he is a boat-builder. I'm guessing he doesn't know she is going to die.


I'm assuming he doesn't need a dentist. Yep, murder it is.

Gotta love this transition. Rory (Amy's future husband, whom we met in the first episode) is at his stag party.

He's calling her because he hasn't told her he loves her in 7 hours which is “a scandal”. Wow, I like him a lot already.

A cake rolls in and...hey, presto...

Did you expect anyone else? I mean, he's timelessly sexy. What? No? Bad one? Okay, okay.

“There's a girl standing outside in a bikini. Could someone give her a jumper? Lucy, lovely girl.”

Oh, clueless-about-sex timelord.

“We need to talk about your fiancé. She tried to kiss me. Well, you're a lucky man, she's a great kisser.”


When Rory seems to be more knowledgeable and really, not at all bewildered about the TARDIS, the Doctor protests. He likes it when people say that it's bigger on the inside. Doctor, if you like it then you should have put a ring on it.

He sends them on a date. To Venice.

How many seconds did it take you to stop staring at her tights? 17, with me.

There's no plague in Venice because of Signora Calvieri (I hope I'm writing this correctly). No, that doesn't look like a freemason symbol at all.

“I'm hydrating!”


Why are vampires always so dramatic? Also, Oedipus.

“Did you miss me?”

Yes, she totally did. You can tell because she's acting in a completely natural way. I punch both of my cats when I get home from a trip, because I missed them so damn much.

I think these are the moments Doctor Who kind of excels in. Little things that immerse you even further. Or I just like it because it's something I would do.

They hear a scream and it's Angsty Quasi-Teenager Vampire (slightly) murdering a girl. Normal stuff, you see. He runs away, though. It comes to mind that Rory must worry about Amy a lot more than she realizes.

This episode sponsored by TEETH. He sneaked in the castle and the creepy girls that I didn't screencap before (I figured we'd see them again) welcome him. Kinda.

“How are you doing that?”

Wibbly-wobbly bloody-vampire-y stuff.

AWESOME. No words. Just...awesome. I'm guessing it's a shoutout to some episode with the First Doctor, though I could be wrong.

They only want a kiss, Doctor. And some porcelain caps.

So he runs into Amy and keeping with the theme, they celebrate finding vampires like any Twilight fan would.

Right, then. So they conjure a plan to get inside (I was going to say “penetrate” but I better not) the castle and Amy suggests she volunteers as one of the girls they recruit. With the Doctor giving her away. As her fiancé. And then...

She tells Rory to do it. And say he's her brother. If I was Rory, I'd be very pissed right about now.

Totally Not a Vampire Lady: “Do you like her?”
Angsty Quasi-Teenager Vampire: “I do, mother, I do.”

This plan is full-proof, I must say.

This made me giggle a lot.

See? Full-proof. Nothing bad is going to happen.

The Doctor needs to stop making people tell him that his is bigger.

This is still...quite bad.

Rory is fucking pissed . And with good reason. He tells the Doctor the worst thing about him is that he makes people want to impress him. True. Very true.


Hm. Looks like Abe's Odyssey.

The Doctor gets electrocuted like shit, but he won't regenerate because there is still one and a half seasons left at the time I'm writing this.

This was the daughter of that bloke we saw at the beginning. Poor girl.

Totally Not a Vampire Lady: “Let me guess. The owner of the psychic paper?”

That's how I roll, sucka.

Apparently, they ran from the silence. HEY, BIG BAD OF THE SEASON, HAVEN'T HEARD ABOUT YOU IN A WHILE.

So, they saw the Batman rift, and through it other worlds, people and silence. I wanted to say “no, that's just the intro of the show”, but it wasn't that funny, so I didn't.

Another thing I've noticed. This Doctor gets very close to people's faces and whispers a lot.

And he really likes the sound of his own voice.

Totally Not a Vampire, No, Seriously, She's An Alien Lady is going to sink Venice and repopulate using the girls she transformed. The Doctor's reaction?


The creepy girls find them and the father stays in the house, luring them away.

He totally has a “THIS. IS. SPARTA.” moment, just before he lights all the gunpowder he safely keeps at home.

Oh, bad CG. How I missed thee.

Just as this dude is about to (slightly) murder Amy, Rory insults his mum. Bad move, it seems.

And Rory tries to make a cross with candlesticks to keep him away. Which reminds me of an Eddie Izzard bit. After managing to keep him from hurting Amy, Rory falls down and Amy saves him by using a tiny mirror to reflect light.

Amy: “Why did you make the sign of a cross?”
Rory: “Am I being reviewed now?”

Loved this. Made me smile.

King Kong Doctor saves the world.

And Rory joins the Doctor...already? Didn't that only happen next season? Oh well, I don't mind it.

“All I can hear is silence.”